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Is DP being unreasonable re ex?

(15 Posts)
Bunt Sat 15-Aug-15 08:57:34

DD is 10, her biological father hasn't seen her since she was 6 months old. He lives abroad and has never attempted to contact her or support her financially. He asks how she is every now and again but that's as far as it goes.

Last night he sent me a message asking how she was (I'm assuming as it was her birthday a few days ago). He then proceeded to send a photo of himself.

DP saw the photo and asked what on earth he was doing sending weird selfies to me late at night. I wrote and asked why he thought it was appropriate when he couldn't even send DD a birthday card. He replied he wanted to get closer, why was that inappropriate and throughout the night, waking us up, sent weird pictures and recordings of his night out..

This morning DP got really cross and told him how pathetic he is and not to contact me again.

He thinks I'm underplaying it as I've just shrugged it off.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 15-Aug-15 09:02:25

Sounds like your ex was pissed.

I don't blame your dp for being pissed off, telling him not to contact you again was perhaps the wrong wording.

Bunt Sat 15-Aug-15 09:04:19

Yes I'm pretty sure he must have been drunk. I guess what DP doesn't understand is how he can get drunk and send me loads of weird messages and pictures all night but never contact DD.

WayneRooneysHair Sat 15-Aug-15 09:07:48

I think your DP has a point but he worded it wrong.

WayneRooneysHair Sat 15-Aug-15 09:08:28

And if he kept waking you up, turn the phone off.

Bunt Sat 15-Aug-15 09:10:10

I silenced it at 12, but it beeped regardless at 4am (old dodgy phone) Turned it off after that.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 15-Aug-15 09:10:54

Does your dd ever ask about him?

Is DP threatened by your ex's attempts to 'get closer' by sending photos and running commentaries of his night out?

Bunt Sat 15-Aug-15 09:13:24

No DD never asks about him, although I would happily dicuss it if she did.

I think he was threatened but also confused, plus cross at getting woken up by my drunken ex.

Hissy Sat 15-Aug-15 09:13:41

I'm sorry, but why is your DP telling you how to handle this?

Why is he not laughing at your ex and thinking he's an idiot and ignoring?

Switch phones onto airplane or off.

Your dd has a right to know her father, as long as it is in her best interests. Your DP should never get in the way of that.

mommy2ash Sat 15-Aug-15 09:20:33

In with your do on this one. I'm not sure how long you are together but I presume he has had a hand in raising your dd when your ex hadn't and now he wants to get closer by sending you random pics of himself. Drunk or not I would be furious and would have nipped that rubbish right in the bud after the first pic.

maddening Sat 15-Aug-15 09:22:29

I don't think your dp should be telling ex to never contact you again - you are the link for your dd and her father until she can organise her own contact if she wishes by herself.
whilst ex is a crap parent he is still her father - obvs the drunk texting was out of order but he possibly got drunk and emotional thinking about the daughter he has failed.

3CheekyLittleMonkeys Sat 15-Aug-15 09:25:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ollieplimsoles Sat 15-Aug-15 09:34:25

Is your ex my dad op??!! shock

He lives abroad, never bothered, and did weird things just like that!

I don't think your partner is being unreasonable here, sorry everyone.

Piece of shit cant even send a birthday card to his own daughter, but he can get drunk and send his ex stupid texts and pics... Of himself. Pathetic of him, I would be fuming.

Fuck him. Carrying on raising your daughter and enjoying your family.

FarFromAnyRoad Sat 15-Aug-15 09:41:39

I'm not even sure why he has your phone number tbh. Why does he? In 9½ years he's not given a mouse sized shit about his daughter - why would he need your phone number - or you need his? Have a FB account where you can contact each other if needs be (although I can't imagine what possible reason there would be!) but delete his number from your phone. It's a link that you just don't need.

Bunt Sat 15-Aug-15 13:31:46

Yes I found it rather amusing, it a weird way, and would have laughed it off had it not been for DP's reaction. That and the fact he has been a complete shitbag as far as DD is concerned.

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