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AIBU to be a bit fecking miffed with DP?

(21 Posts)
Tattersail Sat 15-Aug-15 08:49:07

I'm 34 weeks pg so fully prepared to hear that iabu, really don't think I am tho.

Yesterday DP had a headache and spent almost all day in bed. There was a fair amount of stuff to get done around the house so I pottered around, went out and bought a few bits for the impending baby and took DC1 to school. I was a bit annoyed at the time as we were supposed to build the new baby's cot yesterday and I've been expressly forbidden from doing so myself as "it's too strenuous"

so he eventually gets up just before I'm due to pick DC1 up from school, decides to come with me and when we get home he grudgingly chopped a few veggies for dinner and that was him for the rest of the night.

This morning I asked him to get up with DC1 and sort his breakfast as I feel like crap and the first thing he says to me is "remember we need to go soon". We do have plans to take DC1 to the cinema today but there are several showings and we don't really need to make the morning one. He's also been in twice in the last half hour to remind me we've got things to do today. It's annoying me because I know fine well if we'd made these plans for yesterday I'd have had to have taken dc myself.

AIBU to think it's a bid sodding rich of him to go on at me that we have things on today after him spending all day yesterday in bed?

OliviaBenson Sat 15-Aug-15 08:51:50

Yanbu. Could you send them off to the cinema while you rest?

I'd be telling him to sod off if it were me! Oh and next time he wants a day in bed, do the same to him.

TheHouseOnTheLane Sat 15-Aug-15 08:51:55

Does he not work?

midnightvelvetPart2 Sat 15-Aug-15 08:53:02

Don't be a martyr, tell him!


Icimoi Sat 15-Aug-15 08:54:10

You seem to be working on the basis that yesterday was essentially a duvet day. Was it? I know when I have a migraine I really have no choice but to stay in bed all day, and even when it eventually goes it leaves me feeling really washed out. If your dh was in bed for that reason, YABU for blaming him for being ill.

Glitteryarse Sat 15-Aug-15 08:55:12

Tell him!

Tell him to take him on his own too!

LilRedWG Sat 15-Aug-15 08:57:49

Tell him you are heavily pregnant, feel like crap and are having a day in bed. If he pulls a face, remind him of yesterday, ask for a cup of tea and snuggle down.

He's probably just not thinking.

Glitteryarse Sat 15-Aug-15 08:58:18

I bet he is gonna be a real big help when they new baby comes hmm

Tattersail Sat 15-Aug-15 09:05:54

@icimoi I'm not working on the basis that yesterday was a duvet day for fun, I don't blame him for not feeling well. looking back at my OP it comes across as me being annoyed at him for not doing much and I'm probably being a tad unreasonable there but i am a tad panicky about being ready for baby.

him being ill yesterday was definitely inconvenient but I just left him to it. and I certainly didn't wake him up every so often to remind him we had things to do

What I object to is being badgered about going out when I am feeling similarly rubbish when yesterday I left him to it and poodled along on my own

Clutterbugsmum Sat 15-Aug-15 09:26:45

I'd tell him either take DC1 to the cinema now by himself or he waits until you feel up to getting up as you are not feeling well at the moment.

clam Sat 15-Aug-15 09:33:02

"What I object to is being badgered about going out when I am feeling similarly rubbish when yesterday I left him to it and poodled along on my own"

So, tell him that! YANBU, no, but he needs reminding of it.

Good luck and take care of yourself if he won't flowers

ColdCottage Sat 15-Aug-15 09:41:22

YANBU ask him to take dc1 out and you have a rest.

ElderlyKoreanLady Sat 15-Aug-15 10:14:57

Well when he's badgering, are you saying "yes, I know we've got plans" or are you saying "I'm not up for it today, I really don't feel well"? He's not a mind reader.

BlueBananas Sat 15-Aug-15 10:18:39

I think YABU actually
He was ill yesterday, you're not ill today so hardly comparable are they?
That being said, if you don't want to go out just say or else how will he know?!

clam Sat 15-Aug-15 11:04:35

"He was ill yesterday, you're not ill today so hardly comparable are they?"

Erm, so did you not read "I am feeling similarly rubbish" and "I feel like crap" then?

Icimoi Sat 15-Aug-15 13:21:03

But are you actually feeling "similarly rubbish"? Having been both prone to headaches and 34 weeks pregnant (and I was sick all the way through my pregnancies), I know that the sort of headache which drives me to bed all day is actually quite a lot worse than general pregnancy crapness.

BlueBananas Sat 15-Aug-15 13:29:34

I presumed "I'm feeling a bit rubbish" was general being pregnant and feeling shit but still able to get on with life. I obviously presumed that if she was now unwell she'd just say and this would be a huge non-issue

Reubs15 Sat 15-Aug-15 13:41:00

Just tell him you don't feel uo to it. Solved!

PresidentTwonk Sat 15-Aug-15 13:51:19

Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you're automatically unreasonable! So many posts start 'I'm pregnant so probably being unreasonable but' 'I'm on my period so prepared to be told IABU' etc etc

You're pregnant, you're feeling crap, you facilitated him having a day in bed so he should return the favour.

It doesn't matter if you don't feel as bad as he did yesterday, it isn't a competition, you feel like you need to be in bed so be in bed!

BlueBananas Sat 15-Aug-15 14:01:07

President nobody is arguing that she shouldn't get up if she doesn't want to, we're all just slightly confused as to why she can't just say that to her DH?

PresidentTwonk Sat 15-Aug-15 14:25:03

Actually there have been comments suggesting that 'he was ill yesterday, you're not I'll today so they're hardly comparable are they?' Etc

I assumed when she told him she needed to go to bed and he came in twice to tell her they had to leave she had already told him she needed to go to bed and he was just coming in disturbing her rather than leaving her alone as she did with him yesterday.

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