To be bloody confused by sleep advice on the internet?(17 Posts)
DD2 was sleeping 7pm-7am with no night feeds from 7 months for a month. She now will wake once or twice a night and won't go back to sleep until she's had a bottle.
I have tried googling and half of the information seems to say it's normal to have night feeds at this stage, just feed when hungry. The other half of the information says that so long as the baby is eating well in the day, they're probably just waking out of habit and if you had a nice meal brought to you every time you woke you'd keep waking too, so don't give bottles in the night.
So, I've been doing a half-cocked version of both advice i.e. I try my best to settle DD with water/cuddles and if she won't settle, will give a bottle.
This leaves me awake for an hour at each waking and I'm exhausted! I have the sort of job where a functioning brain is vital so this is proving problematic.
So, AIBU to think advice is bloody confusing? Also, should I just be giving the bottle straight away, thereby reducing the amount of time I'm awake, or should I suck it up and spend the night cuddling/sushing with no bottles and hope she stops waking for them???
You know the advice you get here will be just as conflicting, don't you?
Pick a route you are happy with and stick to it.
How old is DD now?
Is she teething or doing a growing spurt?
Does she actually need what you are giving her in the middle of the night, or could you leave her to get back to sleep without intervention?
DS didn't sleep through until he was about 3 and I was still feeding him in the night until about 18 months.
Just go with whatever you are happy with and what suits you.
I was hoping, there may be a general consensus on here
DD2 is 9 months. Possibly teething, although has had teething 'symptoms' since about 12 weeks and only 2 teeth so far.
I don't know whether she needs it. If I don't go in to her, she'll get more and more upset. If I go in, cuddle and give water she may go back to sleep for ten minutes or so and then wakes up again. She's been having about 5 ounces (offered 7) at around midnight and 4 am.
She eats loads of food during the day and has approx 6 ounces at 7am, 1:30pm and 7pm.
If she wakes up again after having water, I'd say she's probably hungry Even if she's feeding well in the day time. Some babies are just like that! :P
Ahhhhhh! She's been up three times since she went to bed. Don't know what to do with her.
Oh dear I feel your pain. What worked for me was a 'dream feed' ie wake the infant (I know, never wake a sleeping etc but bear with me) at 10pm or thereabouts, feed them, chuck them back into bed, run towards bed yourself, sleep like hell till about 6ish. I did that from about 6-7 months til about 10-11 months and it stopped the crippling 3-times-and-more-a-night waking. Worth a shot? Good luck, it is excruciating, esp if you've had a luscious taste of proper sleep.
I feel your pain & in v similar situation. Dd2 was a great sleeper to 6 months alternating sleeping through & 1 feed around 4:30ish. Has been awful since - really unsettled in the evening restless from 9-11. Had gone back to always 1 feed & sometimes 2 & had 3 massive feeds last night.
I think she's got 2nd tooth on the way but really hoping it's a growth spurt (eats tons during the day)
I give milk straight away in the interest of efficiency coz I'm lazy and exhausted & I don't have any concerns about her food intake during the day but was Told by Health visitor that it should definitely only be water at night now.
Good luck - fingers crossed for a good night (my prayer everynight)
Told by Health visitor that it should definitely only be water at night now.
Your HV is a royal twat.
Have you checked your baby's Wonder Week, OP?
I think you're probably doing the worst possible combination TBH by combining the advice!
I would try to pick one and stick with it. If you're happy to keep giving milk then give it first so that she barely wakes up. That should minimise the night wakings as it doesn't make it into as much of a habit. FWIW I think that the "if you had food brought to you, you'd wake up" is a load of bull. No you wouldn't, you'd be asleep. If you're asleep, comfortable, still tired and have no other pressing needs then you generally stay asleep, baby or not.
I do get the theory that we all wake up slightly in the night and the problem can be that the baby doesn't know how to get back to sleep without a cue, and I think in this case if it's a sleep cue and you want to remove the milk from the sleep cue then you have to not give it at all. Trying loads of other things and then eventually giving in to milk every time is really counterproductive because it's just prolonging the whole exchange, and she's learning (as much as an 8 month old can learn) that the milk will come eventually, which is not what you want if you're trying to sleep train out of that.
Ultimately I'm on the side of thinking that 8 month olds can definitely still be hungry at night, and would go for the path of least resistance and try to think in terms of your own largest block of unbroken sleep rather than worrying about how many times she wakes up etc. I found that once DS was only waking just before I went to bed and then at about 5 (and would come into bed with me and go back to sleep) it was pretty perfect. Yes I had to go up several times during the evening, but I had the sleep part sorted and the evening feeds spread out eventually too. If you have a DH too you could alternate so one of you stays up to do the midnight feed while the other goes to bed around 10, the one who went to bed early does the early morning fetch, feed and plonk in bed and you all (hopefully) go back to sleep.
I would say that a good way to combine approaches would be to go with the night feeds generally but try a "dry run" every so often when you have a free day the next day and try settling her without. If it works, great, you can go with a more focused plan to phase out the night feeds, but I think from what you are finding at the moment that she is still hungry. Might be a temporary growth spurt?
Good luck anyway
Thank you for the advice.
Last night was alot worse than normal with wakings 1-2 hourly and three bottles of milk. Ended up in a row with DH this morning as I woke him at 6.20am when DD1 woke and he grumbled about being tired but got up, then woke me up shortly after as he needed the loo! Apparently I don't own the monopoly on being tired.
What is a baby's wonder week?
It tells you when they are likely to have big mental milestones. Google "wonder week" and your baby's age in weeks.
Regina - totally agree. Chose the smile & nod option. There's a thread somewhere!
Sorry you had a rubbish night op. Hopefully tonight will be a better one. I always start the night optimistic that tonight will be the night it works!
Last night I fed her at 1am, 4am and 5.20am. Is that normal?
Do I need to night wean? How do you do that?
I've had a 12 hour day on my feet at work today and am terrified I'm going to make a mistake through tiredness (dangerous in my line of work). I really need to do something, but no idea what.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time op. Have you tried the dream feed mentioned above? It worked really well for me with my dd when she was about 8-10 months (can't remember more specifically). I think (and that is just my opinion) that if your dd was sleeping so well before, it may just be that she is growing/attaining milestones/etc and that she is actually more hungry than usual. Imo 5oz is a lot to take in if she is just using the bottle to settle again, to me it seems like she is actually hungry.
I'm sorry I'm not really helping at all. But I've been through what your going through and it was murder so offering support as much as I can.
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