I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and I'm becoming increasingly doubtful that we're bonded. Or at best, I think we have a very weak bond. A bit of a back story is that she was an extremely uncuddly baby - so much so that it sent me into Pnd as I took it as a major rejection. That was when she was one. Everyone promised me she would become more cuddly and she hasn't. Consequently I am feeling increasingly disconnected from her and I'm genuinely worried about what's going to happen and if I can do anything about this? I actually posted on here about a year ago about it and got told to 'back off' 'give her space!' Etc which is fine, I did, and a year on I'm now feeling just so, so sad and that I'm just living with a child who I may as well just be child minding for. It occurred to me that if someone swapped me for another mother for her she probably wouldn't care less. That's the most horrible feeling.
When I take her to nursery she barely looks round. I pick her up, she looks disappointed. My heart breaks each time. If she falls over and I try to comfort her she pushes me off. I try periodically to cuddle her but she holds me at arms length. If I even sit next to get and lay a hand on her leg she peels it off.
I'm naturally an affectionate and loving person so I find this almost unbareable and take it as a massive rejection. I'm pretty sure I love her but I really don't feel we are bonded at all. An example being that now if she cries it doesn't particularly affect me. I used to get upset by her crying but I now just attend to whatever is upsetting her but it doesn't actually bother me as such if she cries. I think it's because I've had to force myself to disconnect from her emotionally as its been a daily agony for two years now. THIS is primarily what makes me think we aren't bonded. I can't stand that things have got like this as this is not 'me' at all. I'm a single mum (by choice) so no father involved.
Any thoughts?
I'm so so so sad about this so please be gentle.
(She's just had her 27 month check and all was normal- she's a very happy, chatty, sociable child with great eye contact so no autism etc suspected at all)
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
...to think I'm not bonded to my child and be devastated by this?
52 replies
Florencefan · 14/08/2015 20:45
OP posts:
PolterGoose ·
14/08/2015 21:06
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.