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that DH shouldn't have gotten this drunk?

(66 Posts)
RattleAndRoll Fri 14-Aug-15 20:08:09

At a wedding. DH is a groomsman, and this morning we discussed him drinking and he said he won't as he's driving us home.
Generally he doesn't drink, maybe a cider at a BBQ for example. We don't drink at home.

He turned up to the venue a couple of hours before us (ds(almost 1) and I). As soon as I arrived I could tell her was tipsy (this is an hour before ceremony etc). He had a drink in hand. I mentioned about him driving home, he said he's only had one. Hmm I thought.

By the time the ceremony comes, in between seating people he's making racist jokes and talking about cocaine? (He's not a racist or and doesn't take drugs). And couldn't tell his left and right when trying to seat guests on the bride or grooms side of the room. I at this point have said to him that he needs to get his behaviour in check. So was silent from then on.

He kept drinking. By the time the wedding breakfast has been served he's puking in the toilets. Each course that came out made him feel sick so he's puked around 5 times now.

At this point one of the other groomsman have sent him to bed. Its a hotel, so there's some rooms that they've used to get ready in etc.

Also, I was going to get my mum to babysit ds so I could enjoy myself today, less stress etc. he didn't want me to. It's a close friend from school getting married and he wanted ds to be in the photos. My worry was Id be dealing with ds on my own all day, as he's a groomsman, he said he'd checked what his duties were and he'd be with us for everything except the ceremony, please don't get a sitter. Well I've hardly seen him, as expected.. as he's been in the loo or hotel room. When he has been with us he's been useless and not doing anything to help. He's down from the hotel now and still not with us.

And, it's our sons first birthday tomorrow and we have a big family BBQ planned starting midday. He is going to be a state in the morning, and probably feel shit all day.

I've missed the speeches as ds was getting tired so I've just had to walk him round the car park then heard the clapping etc came back and missed them, and I'm outside again now and can hear their first dance song has come on so I've missed their first dance too.

I've apologised to the groom for his behaviour as I've no idea what else he's said or done whilst not around me.

It's just so not like him, I don't know what's going on with him.

Aibu to think he's shown himself right up?

TenForward82 Fri 14-Aug-15 20:11:53

Yup, lied to you and showed himself up. I would not be impressed.

My DH got shitfaced at his best mate's wedding, spent the next morning in bed in between puking. He got zero sympathy from me!

redbinneo Fri 14-Aug-15 20:12:14

He obviously will be too drunk to drive tomorrow morning, better get your taxi sorted.

pretend Fri 14-Aug-15 20:13:08

I'd be really fucked off, but the hangover will be punishment enough...

ThatBloodyWoman Fri 14-Aug-15 20:13:33

Yanbu.

EeyoresTail Fri 14-Aug-15 20:13:49

I would say he has.
I would make sure all the plans for tomorrow go ahead and screw how he feels with his hangover! I'd show him no sympathy. But I'm a witch like that

Cabbagesaregreen Fri 14-Aug-15 20:14:56

I stopped reading when I got to him making racist comments. How vile.

RattleAndRoll Fri 14-Aug-15 20:15:21

I actually wanna cry. I can't believe he's behaved like this.
Sorry if my op has loads of mistakes I was writing it on the move round the carpet.

Cabbagesaregreen Fri 14-Aug-15 20:16:01

I stopped reading after I got to racist comments. How vile .

ThatBloodyWoman Fri 14-Aug-15 20:16:28

We all cock up sometimes,but this is something he owes you,and others by the sounds,an apology over.

Christinayanglah Fri 14-Aug-15 20:16:48

I would just get in the car and go home, leave him to get on with it

TenForward82 Fri 14-Aug-15 20:17:18

Poor you, rattle. Is it out of character? If so, totally understand wanting to cry, but everyone fucks up sometimes. Let's hope he's contrite when he comes out the other side (and stops upchucking)

CatthiefKeith Fri 14-Aug-15 20:21:29

I'm another one that would just go home and leave him to it. Does he usually drink to excess?

TheoriginalLEM Fri 14-Aug-15 20:23:49

you say he doesn't usually drink, i suspect he got caught up with the others, coudlknt handle the drink and as a conseqence, it spiralled. There is nothing like a few drinks when you dont drink to make you feel you need to drink the bar dry. He'll feel terrible and hopefully be contrite. But its shit for you, i agree

SnapesCapes Fri 14-Aug-15 20:25:06

It's his fault, nobody else's. Let him sleep it off tonight, have a word with him first thing tomorrow and remind him that regardless of his self-inflicted hangover you expect him to be fully operational at your son's party tomorrow, no ifs, buts or coconuts. Don't give him chance to flake out.

flowers too because there's nothing more arse-clenching than your OH getting too spangled at weddings.

StealthPolarBear Fri 14-Aug-15 20:28:40

That sounds really odd and out of character.
But you say he barely drinks and then you say you've not seen him as expected. Can you explain?

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary Fri 14-Aug-15 20:29:42

Do not let him drive for at LEAST 36hrs after puking! Even if blood alcohol ok, he will still be below par and not fit to drive.

ahbollocks Fri 14-Aug-15 20:31:53

Can you drive OP?

nocabbageinmyeye Fri 14-Aug-15 20:34:38

You say this isn't like him and he was talking about cocaine, is there a chance he has actually taken some?

RattleAndRoll Fri 14-Aug-15 20:36:14

He just doesn't hardly drink, a couple of times a year at most and it's always 1 or 2, never like this. That's what I'm surprised by. And the fact that when he's been ok, and not in loo/hotel, he's still not been with us. He's off elsewhere. It's just odd. All the other groomsman now are with their partners. He's not. It's weird. It's really out of character and not like him to be this way.
Don't worry he's not driving home, even though earlier he said 'I've only had 6, once I've had a nap I'll be fine to drive!' At that point I walked away.
I think he has just got carried away/peer pressure possibly. It is a one off. But I'm still just angry and upset he could behave like this at someones wedding. Especially for such a close friend and being part of the wedding party.

RattleAndRoll Fri 14-Aug-15 20:39:34

No, definitely not taken drugs. We're very anti drugs. Never tried. We haven't even tried a cigarette. (Met in school so knew him young). It's when someone remarked he couldn't tell his left and rights and he remarked about that being because of the line of Charlie he had. That's his poor taste of joke, like the racist ones.

RattleAndRoll Fri 14-Aug-15 20:40:46

And yes I can drive, it's not the end of the world, it's just far away and I'm not used to driving far, only around town etc. which is my own fault and iabu about.

XiCi Fri 14-Aug-15 20:44:42

Hmmm, are you sure he hasn't had a line? Maybe if the rest of the wedding party was partaking he decided to try? Seems a strange thing to say otherwise and might explain his out of character behaviour and why he is now actively avoiding you.

RattleAndRoll Fri 14-Aug-15 20:47:17

I'd bet my life he hasn't taken any drugs.

PooFlower Fri 14-Aug-15 20:48:39

I think he has had a line too, op, sorry. It would explain the out of character behaviour, avoiding you and talking nonsense.

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