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F'ing farting

(90 Posts)
ReginaFelangi Fri 14-Aug-15 10:22:49

I don't know whether there is anything unusual about this, but my OH of nearly 15 years' bodily functions are really starting to get to me. His toilet sessions take at least 30 minutes and a lot of noise and the smell afterwards will literally make me heave. (He needs reminding to open the window and close the bathroom door too).

He will also fart freely throughout the house. Last night he went up to bed to read and when I went up an hour later the room stank so badly I had to go and sleep in my 4 year old's bed instead. He doesn't think there's anything wrong with it and says it's just me "making a fuss". He eats healthily enough and has been this way forever (although I think it's getting worse). AIRBU for not wanting to be gassed in my own home?!

patienceisvirtuous Fri 14-Aug-15 10:26:37

I think he is being disrespectful and gross. It might even be a deal breaker for me...

BlueberryWafer Fri 14-Aug-15 10:28:40

Do your shits and farts smell of roses..?

CrystalCove Fri 14-Aug-15 10:29:42

Seriously patience? You would leave your DH over this? Crikey! My DH can stink the house out but it never lasts, that's what air freshners are for.

ReginaFelangi Fri 14-Aug-15 10:30:35

Of course not, but I a) fart a lot less, b) do it away from other people, and c) open the bathroom window if I need to (it's rare it smells, to be honest - I don't eat much carbs).

hotfuzzra Fri 14-Aug-15 10:31:49

We both fart freely in front of each other, also in enclosed spaces. We say sorry if it's very smelly. I thinks it's a bodily function and you can't always help that. However if he doesn't try and open the window or isn't thoughtful knowing that it bothers you then he is B a bit U.
(Would you mind changing your name please as I would like it...) wink

TenForward82 Fri 14-Aug-15 10:32:28

There's actually stuff you can get that you sprinkle in the toilet before you go that removes the smell - it really works. I'd make him use that. Unfortunately I can't remember what it's called.

DextersMistress Fri 14-Aug-15 10:33:38

A deal breaker? Blimey.

I'm not sure what you expect him to do op? Natural bodily function and all that.

toofarfromcivilisation Fri 14-Aug-15 10:36:34

When we moved to our house the loo in our en-suite had the most wonderful extractor actually built into the bowl. You switched it on as you sat down with a cord like an electric shower sometimes has. It was pretty powerful so no nasty smells escaped the bowl.
We had the bathroom re-done & couldn't find the same device anywhere. I've Googled & looked out for another too. Someone should manufacture them again.

BlueberryWafer Fri 14-Aug-15 10:36:59


Sallyhasleftthebuilding Fri 14-Aug-15 10:38:22

Err ... Only bothers me if we have people coming round and he hasn't sprayed ... Get an automatic air freshened thing in the bathroom. It's cheaper than a divorce smile

ReginaFelangi Fri 14-Aug-15 10:38:24

Really Blueberry? So you'd have happily climbed into bed in a room smelling of rotten eggs?

ReginaFelangi Fri 14-Aug-15 10:38:53

can't bear artificial scents, unfortunately.

patienceisvirtuous Fri 14-Aug-15 10:39:39

Yes, I would, if it was constant and impinged my general quality of life...

My DP is respectful and only does this in the loo and opens window/uses air freshener...

BolshierAyraStark Fri 14-Aug-15 10:42:50

hmm we'd spend a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom if we went there to fart every time.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 14-Aug-15 10:42:53

Do you think he should visit the GP, the noises (straining?) and sitting on the loo for at least 30 minutes isn't ideal.

I've learned a lot about bowels since dh was hospitalised a few weeks ago.

helenahandbag Fri 14-Aug-15 10:43:46

I've never understood this attitude. Fair enough, not everyone laughs like we do when their partner farts but you can hardly shout at the man for having smelly shit!

My DP has pinned me down to fart on me before. He also lets one go and stares at me until the smell "gets me", then asks (in the style of a wine connoisseur) if there are "floral notes".

It's not disrespectful. Ask him to look at his diet if the smell is really offensive.

IceBeing Fri 14-Aug-15 10:43:51

OP if it has changed recently it might be worth a check up? changes in bowl habit can be signs of untoward things (rarely obviously!)

I have been in the opposite situation recently where I suddenly feel like my bodily functions are unacceptably smelly...DH insists its not a problem but I am starting to get super self-conscious and may even follow my own advice above!

Can he take charcoal tablets after meals?

allowme Fri 14-Aug-15 10:46:38

You think thats bad i breathed in a strangers fart in tesco yesterday envy

DopeyDawg Fri 14-Aug-15 10:50:25

It is a natural function to be sure but are his bowels okay if he is sitting there for 30m and farting endlessly the rest of the time? Is his diet okay?

Other than that - if it bothers you it bothers you.
He should be opening windows and airing the house ( I cant stand artificial smells either)
and trying not to fart right next to you if poss?

If in the loo, keep a box of long matches there.
After a smelly poo, light one, let it burn, blow it out and let the smoke waft.
It kills the smelly smell stone dead.
Then open a window. wink

Aramynta Fri 14-Aug-15 10:51:48

allowme that is the worst!! It always smells so much worse!!

Aramynta Fri 14-Aug-15 10:52:19

Oh and ditto Charcoal tablets. They work wonders for wind!

Mimigolightly Fri 14-Aug-15 10:52:30

He really needs to sort out his digestive tract. Is he on any medication? Does he eat badly? Could he have food intolerances?

Get him a really good, multi-strain probiotic supplement to start with. Don't get the drinks as the stomach acid will destroy most of the good bacteria. Something like Udo's Super 8 would be perfect. You can get them from Amazon or somewhere like Planet Organic

Activated Charcoal tablets will mop up a lot of gas in his guts but will not address the problem itself. You can PM me if you need any more recommendations on supplements.

SalemSaberhagen Fri 14-Aug-15 10:53:42

That is fucking rank Helena. Farting on you? How old is he, 12?

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