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To not go in and get my birthday card

(27 Posts)
saresywaresy2 Thu 13-Aug-15 12:40:17

My boss is unreasonable in a lot of ways. She is a very stressy, shouty person and a complete control freak -think telling me to make a phone call for her and then shouting in the background while i am making said phone call. If things aren't right she can go on and on and on about.
Luckily I'm used to her and don't make many mistakes so we rub along together ok.

I'm on my holidays now. Two weeks off. A week at home, and then a week away. On Monday I get a text from her, "can you call me at work i need to ask you something" I was out with friends and didn't want to be stressed so I didn't call. I text her back that night saying "sorry, i was out, hope you got it sorted." She texts back "Can you ring me tomorrow?" making me anxious for the rest of evening. Tuesday i called into the office taking my youngest one with me as a human shield. She was out. Another flurry of texting followed and another evening of stressing.

Wednesday she finally phoned me. It turned out that all it was, was that she had lost something that we use all the time that is kept in my top drawer. She claimed not to be able to find it. I was baffled and said it's in my top drawer at the front. She opened the drawer and found it exactly where i said it was. She then had a go at me about the state of my drawers and said it would have to be sorted out when i get back!! Honestly it's just stationery in my drawers, not that much of a mess.

The AIBU is that she finished the call by saying she had a birthday card for me in the office and i'd have to go in and get it. My birthday is tomorrow. I'm annoyed with her and think stuff your bloody card you mentalist. AIBU not to go? I know if I don't go in she will be annoyed. It may also contain money. But really I do not want to go in on my day off and I don't care if it does contain money. But I know she'll go on when I get back if I don't go. Ugh, I've got to havem't I?

Vatersay Thu 13-Aug-15 12:42:22

"that's very kind of you to arrange a card for me! Unfortunately I have plans tomorrow, I'll get it when I'm next in."

Icimoi Thu 13-Aug-15 12:42:35

No, tell her you've already made plans for the day and can't go in. Ask if it's possible to put it in the post.

ginmakesitallok Thu 13-Aug-15 12:43:01

No of course you shouldn't go in!!! Don't do it!

popcornpaws Thu 13-Aug-15 12:44:27

No, i would not go in.
You are on holiday, which means she has no "hold" over you for the next two weeks.
She could have gave you the card before you went on holiday, like any normal person would have, she may be your boss at work but thats where it ends!

descalina Thu 13-Aug-15 12:45:19

God no, don't go in.

"I'm on annual leave, I'll open it when I'm back."

Then tell her not to contact you unless there is an emergency (if you work somewhere where there really might be one) or if nothing will be that critical, when you get back. Then ignore all texts and calls until you return.

swashbucklecheer Thu 13-Aug-15 12:46:29

You are on holiday! I wouldn't have even acknowledged the first texts! Blame in on no phone signal in some far flung holiday spot

Katie2001 Thu 13-Aug-15 12:47:22

Can't she put a stamp on it and put it in the post? Ridiculous woman (her, not you!)

diddl Thu 13-Aug-15 12:47:22

Of course you shouldn't go in-neither should you be answering her calls by the sound of things!

TheSkyAtNight Thu 13-Aug-15 12:47:33

No you don't have to go in. Personally, I wouldn't, as it tells her that she can expect you to come into work during your holidays for her every whim. If she goes on when you are back you can very reasonably say 'thanks for the card & for looking after it while I was on holiday'.

marujadelujo Thu 13-Aug-15 12:49:40

Responding to her is rewarding her (extremely unreasonable, even irrational) behaviour, thereby reinforcing it.
Do NOT go in to work on your day off.
Stop replying to her texts.
Let her go on at you when you get back and you are being paid to put up with her.

SuperFlyHigh Thu 13-Aug-15 12:53:55

I had this in my last job - they 'forgot' when I was due back from holiday, they'd ring me for passwords, at one point the temp who was bullying me (close friend of my boss) I swear would ring or text just to be a pain.

so I just stopped answering my phone - said I didn't take it abroad.

Just be firm with a big no re the card.

Tinandgonic Thu 13-Aug-15 13:33:34

Say no. It's like she's on some kind of power trip! My old boss was bi-polar and she phoned me repeatedly when I was on jury duty (phones are confiscated while you're in court) to ask for a password to a system that would give her free reign to do as she pleased and would see me
Get the sack of it came to light I'd given her the password. I felt so under pressure though as she made out that the world would collapse if I didn't give her it. Needless to say she didn't get my password and the world didn't end. Thankfully she's not my boss anymore grin

thegreysheep Thu 13-Aug-15 14:26:14

Gawd that's a right pain, all that dramz over something in a drawer! It's more of a way of keeping you engaged as she sounds a but dependent on you to get her fix, and needs you in a way? I had one like this before. She resents needing you so much so then turns on you, but it's not you - it's her, so try not to let it damage your confidence.

Maybe send a breezy text like "thanks for the card, I'll look forward to gettign it at the end of my leave. In the meantime, I have lots of plans/ no coverage, so if you need anything urgent text me and I'll get back to you if I can. Otherwise, see you when I get back!".

And I'd look for other work if you can, doesn't seem worth it...

RoboticSealpup Thu 13-Aug-15 15:02:57

Of course you should drop everything you're doing to go into work and pick up a fucking card from your boss, who you don't even like and who isn't very nice to you. It's urgent! Aren't you dying to know what the card says? What if it has a picture of a kitten!! I personally don't know how you can contain your excitement until you are back from leave. wink

TheHouseOnBellSt Thu 13-Aug-15 15:06:02

next holiday leave one of those messages "I'm not able to answer my phone right now but will get back to you when my holiday is over" and tailor it so only she gets it.

missingmumxox Thu 13-Aug-15 15:21:07

Holy crap! I went on sick leave suddenly at 19/40, I had been creating a data base which had a ass word, they thought only I had the password, only when I went in for a KIT day 1 year later did they ask me for the password, if they had been desperate for the information at any point the reasoned IT could sort it out, it hadn't been needed.
Your boss sound deranged she could had actually tried looking herself, managed without or bought the item if desperate! and I would be looking for another job shock

missingmumxox Thu 13-Aug-15 15:21:48

I like that ass word grin

Password obviously

PrimsGoat Thu 13-Aug-15 15:27:58

I wonder if she deliberately sent you cryptic texts to stress you out, instead of just asking "Do you know where X is?"

AdeleDazeem Thu 13-Aug-15 17:19:43

So your boss is on glue. No, don't go in. You're on holidays. Screw her and her silly glue-sniffing silliness.

bigbumtheory Thu 13-Aug-15 18:08:26

I suspect she wants you to go in because she just needs a chat about X/Y and Z,don't go in- text her back 'thank you, I look forward to it when I get back off leave.'

Then respond to nothing else.

avocadotoast Thu 13-Aug-15 18:25:28

Tell her no. Then block her number until you go back to work. I'd be furious if I got contacted for work reasons while I was on holiday!

tobysmum77 Thu 13-Aug-15 18:33:10

She sounds charming. Point out that we have had a postal service exactly for this purpose for the past 150 years.

Bullying and controlling come to mind.

PLUtoPlanet Thu 13-Aug-15 18:49:51

Definitely don't go! if she moans, tell her firmly that you have errands to run tomorrow that you couldn't do earlier in the week because of her yanking your chain requests, which turned out not to be all that urgent. Remind her that you will be away next week.

I bet she's not as "useless" as she pretends to be!

saresywaresy2 Fri 14-Aug-15 10:32:24

Well she claims to be useless with computers, so I hope she isn't a secret mumsnetter, but I didn't go in yesterday and lo and behold - this morning there was a certain card posted through my door!! (For anyone interested it had a cake on the front!!) I take it all back grin

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