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Aibu, but it's my house and i can own what pet i like!!

(62 Posts)
pumpkinsweetie Wed 12-Aug-15 21:42:58

To cut a long story short, my best friend is having to re-home her cat due to her new tenancy not allowing for pets.
So me being an animal lover (already have a dog & 2 rats) i thought it would save heartbreak and be nice to take the cat in myself.

Anyway upon hearing my ideas, my Dm has got the arse and keeps banging on about her allergies and how i am selfish as she won't be able to visit my home anymore.
Saying that "am i joking" "you will put me in hospital" etc.
Tbf she has just got over phneumonia.
She is going to go mad when she finds out the reality the cat is being sent to me tomorrow evening!

Thing is i love my dm, and i enjoy her visits (daily, except from weekends) but it is my house and i believe if i want a cat then i shall have one.

Dm lives a block away and i can visit her if i wish, just as much.
So aib, to be pissed of that she has the arse over something that is my decision?

FenellaFellorick Wed 12-Aug-15 21:47:46

A bit.
She's allowed her feelings about something that she thinks is going toaffect her
It doesn't mean she gets a say in your decision, but if she now feels she can't come to your house, she's allowed to have her feelings about that.

notquitehuman Wed 12-Aug-15 21:52:26

If your home is a no go area, can you just go visit her instead? It's your business what animals you keep and pretty selfish for her to give you a guilt trip about it.

pumpkinsweetie Wed 12-Aug-15 22:02:55

Yes it's easy for me to visit her as she lives just around the corner, so i don't get the big guilt trip.
I feel strongly about animals needlessly ending up in shelters if someone can take them on that will love them.

BarbarianMum Wed 12-Aug-15 22:11:01

Your choice of course but id be very hurt if a child of mine got a rabbit one day (I'm highly allergic and would never be able to visit). We don't have a dog because of my sister's allergy.

TRexingInAsda Wed 12-Aug-15 22:11:18

Yanbu, I hope the cat gets on with the dog and the rats though!

WantToGetLost Wed 12-Aug-15 22:19:11

I think it's your house your rules

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Wed 12-Aug-15 22:20:59


Your house, you get to decide who lives in it.

londonrach Wed 12-Aug-15 22:21:09

Tbh if i had a family member who had an allergy i wouldnt have that animalas its not fair. I do suffer from hayfever in connection to cats and can be set off even from someones clothes who come into contact with a cat. My allergy isnt that bad, sneezing, runny nose and eyes...imagine if it bought on asthma systoms. Sounds like your mums had some bad health recently. Ican understand shes worried as the cat could effect her health. In theory your correct you can have any animal in your own home but you need to take into account the effect this animal has on those close to you. Im on the fence here with possibly more on the side of yoyr mum due to the allergy. If she didnt want the cat because she didnt like a cat id be on your side. Its the fact that the cat effects her health and shes a regularly family visitor...

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Wed 12-Aug-15 22:22:48

Can't the OP just visit her DM at her house? It's not like they're never going to see each other again.

TooOldForGlitter Wed 12-Aug-15 22:23:04

Can't she just take a benydryl and chill her bean?

BeautifulBatman Wed 12-Aug-15 22:25:00

Yanbu. My dsis is v allergic to my cats. She just takes a piriton before she comes round. Get the cat, your DM will deal with it..

Purplepixiedust Wed 12-Aug-15 22:25:10

You can of course do what you like but if she currently visits regularly and will no longer be able to, it is understandable she would be upset about it.
Personally I think YABU to be pissed of at her and she would not be unreasonable to be pissed off at you.

londonrach Wed 12-Aug-15 22:27:31

Sadly tooold medication doesnt always work re cat allergy. Toads..if op mother had a bad allergy ops clothes could set her off. (I dont know if thats the case in ops case). If you do go down the cat route maybe keep some clothes at your mums to change into if her allergy is bad.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Wed 12-Aug-15 22:29:06

I doubt she would be getting the cat if her allergy was that bad though.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Wed 12-Aug-15 22:30:40

I'm still in the "your house, your rules" camp but I can see why her DM is upset if she's so used to visiting.

Theycallmemellowjello Wed 12-Aug-15 22:33:40

You can do what you want but you can't always expect others to like it. Her not being/feeling able to come to your home is a huge deal of course she's upset! Fair enough if you want the cat, but it's u to feel that no one else is allowed to have feelings about it.

lunar1 Wed 12-Aug-15 22:38:21

Sorry, I think that's a pretty nasty thing to do to be honest. You are basically choosing a cat over her. I know you can visit her but you will be taking your cat hair with you, and you are really controlling your future relationship with her as she can no longer pop over when she wants. It's all on your terms now, unless that's the intention?

TooOldForGlitter Wed 12-Aug-15 22:43:57

I know. I wasn't being serious. I'm having such a bad time of allergies lately that I can't even stroke my own dog.

SelfRaisingFlour Wed 12-Aug-15 22:46:05

I agree with lunar 1. It's pretty horrible. You've told her some random new cat is more important to you than she is

ijustwannadance Wed 12-Aug-15 22:47:44

I have asthma and allergies, including cat/rabbit hair. Why should anyone in my family not have a pet because of me? I dont live in their house. I like cats and if visiting someone who has a pet in their home i just take an anti histamine before i go.

Duck90 Wed 12-Aug-15 22:51:39

It doesn't sound very thoughtful, you can do as you please though. taking in an animal is a commitment. If you are happy your mum cannot visit and you can go to hers instead then go for it, keep in mind that cats can live into their late teens.

ErrolTheDragon Wed 12-Aug-15 22:53:50

The OP isn't taking the cat in for selfish reasons on a whim - it needs a new home.

Perhaps the solution is that the OP essentially fosters the cat and tries to find another good home for it?

pumpkinsweetie Wed 12-Aug-15 22:55:34

That is a good idea Erroll i never thought of thatsmile

CassieBearRawr Wed 12-Aug-15 23:04:57

To hell with that, it's your house get whatever pet you like. Yes it's a shame your mum is allergic but it's not like she'll never see you again.

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