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To think DH should share his annual leave

(68 Posts)
oscarsmum28 Tue 11-Aug-15 18:47:48

My DH says that because he works full time and I don't, his annual leave is for him only. AIBU to think this is unfair.

I used to work full time and he stayed at home with our DS but our roles changed a year ago and now I am looking for work. But I don't remember simply b#ggering off on my annual leave and leaving him to it all the bl**dy time. He has a lot of hobbies that demand his time, but every time I ask to do something with my friends and for him to have our three year old it causes an argument. I normally win but I hate asking and hardly ever go out without the kids. When he justifies why I shouldn't do something he says his days off and evenings are his because he works and he needs it as down time.

I do manage to get some time out but it, but only about 5% of what he does and he always makes it hell for me to ask.

Is this normal for stay at home mums? In somehow doubtful when I find a job that this will change.

Caprinihahahaha Tue 11-Aug-15 18:49:40

What do you mean?
Does he take his annual leave up going away with you or your child.

I would go out a lot. I wouldn't care how many fucking arguments it caused.
I'm a sahm.

rallytog1 Tue 11-Aug-15 18:51:41

Doesn't he want to spend time with his family? Seems a bit weird. Yanbu at all...

CassieBearRawr Tue 11-Aug-15 18:52:34


Would be my response to that.

LittleChinaPig Tue 11-Aug-15 18:53:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oscarsmum28 Tue 11-Aug-15 18:53:44

Yeah I mean we did have a week holiday but all the other days he's used for going out without us, or locking himself in his man cave playing computer games.

I do argue with him about it but he thinks I'm being unreasonable. Even weekends are a nightmare!

TeamBacon Tue 11-Aug-15 18:55:36

Wow. He's being totally unreasonable!

Fine to want to keep a few days for himself, as long as you have days to yourself as well! Cheeky fucking git.

Caprinihahahaha Tue 11-Aug-15 18:55:52

Oh dear god, what a dickhead.

I would just start going out either letting him know that he is staying at home or, if he makes excuses, book a babysitter.

He is being ridiculous.

HedgehogAtHome Tue 11-Aug-15 18:56:25

When do you get your annual leave from being a SAHP?

oscarsmum28 Tue 11-Aug-15 18:56:33

Thanks. I will stick to my guns then and argue the case. I don't know what he expects to happen when I'm working full time again too and we have to cover the holidays with our annual leave! Lol

CognitiveIllusion Tue 11-Aug-15 18:56:38

He is being completely unreasonable.

OwlinaTree Tue 11-Aug-15 18:56:43

Not much of a partnership is it? That's what I'd be saying to him.

GloGirl Tue 11-Aug-15 18:57:03

He's a cunt.

Caprinihahahaha Tue 11-Aug-15 18:57:16

Just out of curiosity what is it he does that exhausts him so that he can only wearily grip a gaming control?

LazyLohan Tue 11-Aug-15 18:57:36

So neither of you want to spend time as a family? You both want the other to take care of the kids so you can go off alone?

It's a bit odd neither of you want to be together as a family. But equally I don't think he should spend all his leave caring for your children so you can go out with friends. Maybe a day or two here and there, but not all of it.

PurpleSwift Tue 11-Aug-15 18:58:11

He doesn't sound like much of a family. This would frustrate and disappoint me so much, yanbu

MakingBaking Tue 11-Aug-15 18:58:22

Would you agree with him that childcare is not work? No.
So IMO you are both working really and are entitled to equal amounts of time alone.

haveabreakhaveakitkat Tue 11-Aug-15 18:58:38

He's one of the twattiest dh's I've heard of on here.

Inertia Tue 11-Aug-15 18:59:24

So his working life is 37 hours a week in a job outside the home, yours is 168 hours a week caring for your child? Doesn't seem fair, does it?

CalmYourselfTubbs Tue 11-Aug-15 18:59:55

dickhead alert. what a prick.

oscarsmum28 Tue 11-Aug-15 19:02:11

His precise words tonight were, "I earned it. It's mine."

cathpip Tue 11-Aug-15 19:05:20

Your dh is an utter knob, sorry but weekends and annual leave don't excuse him from his parenting responsibilities. I would point out that you need down time too and if he had to pay you for what you do he wouldn't be able to afford it.......

mysteryknickers Tue 11-Aug-15 19:06:16

Op does he keep his money to himself too?

oscarsmum28 Tue 11-Aug-15 19:06:39

I think maybe this is why I don't particularly want to spend time as a family sometimes! When he says things like this. Although we do have some family time at weekends. My argument with him is more that I want him to support me to do some things outside the family as I do for him. Anyway I get the gist from the responses ;) He's being a dick!

woowoo22 Tue 11-Aug-15 19:06:58

Twunt. Pathetic behaviour. On what planet is this acceptable?

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