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to think a 13 yo shouldnt be left incharge of 2 younger siblings

(12 Posts)
dippyd123 Tue 11-Aug-15 17:38:08

Just had to ban my 9 year old daughter from going round the corner onto the next street after numerous issues with this family. She plays with the 10 year old girl regually and to be honest have no beef with her but a group of kids from our culdesac has started going round to play seems to be the new hangout for them.

Last week she told me the girls 13 year old brothers friend was passing cigerettes around she assures me she didnt have any and I trust her shes pretty grown up for her age. I then found out from another of her friends that the same boy had asked my daughter to be his girlfriend and when she said no he called her something nasty dont know exactly as she wont talk about it be really upset. She went to her dads and only came back yesterday so hadnt been no further issues today shes come back saying there a group of older boys all been throwing stones at her and another friend. Other friends mums just been round to find out whats happening and has just realised the 13 year old boy is at home looking after 10 and 7 year old while mums at work.

Shes asked me to go around with her later to see the mum as been too many incidents over summer involving the family and now its pretty clear its all been happening because they havent been supervised have not previously had any problems why not complained about the cigarettes plus the fact it was another boy passing them round and dont know where he lives.

Ive told my daughter she cant go round anymore if she still wants to play with the girl thats fine but has to stay on the culdesac and asked if she knew his mum wasnt around and she said yes, not daughters fault but wish she had said something sooner as wouldnt of been so laid back about her going round.

So not looking forward to going round soon dont know the mum that well dont know what response we'll get

Squishyeyeballs Tue 11-Aug-15 18:05:28

Yanbu. The 13 year old boy asking a 9 year old to be his gf would raise a MAJOR red flag with me. Having said that, my oldest brother babysat 3 of us from around age 13 but he was always very level headed and responsible. The lad you speak of obviously isn't given the carry on in the house. The only advice I can give is don't go in guns a blazing because the other mother likely has no idea what's going on.

MadamArcatiAgain Tue 11-Aug-15 18:05:37

I am confused. Is it the girl's brother causing problems or the girl's brother's friend

VivaLeBeaver Tue 11-Aug-15 18:10:02

I don't think there's anything wrong with a sensible 13yo looking after younger siblings. My dd was babysitting at 13. However this boy doesn't sound sensible if his mate is passing fags about.

Don't let your dd round there if you're not happy with the set up. My dd has had friends in the past where I wouldn't let her stay overnight as I wasn't happy that the parents were sensible enough to be trusted.

Caprinihahahaha Tue 11-Aug-15 18:13:06

My son used to look after his siblings at that age. But no one else would be allowed in the house and he didn't smoke, swear or behave like a twit. It was also for a few hours, not all day.

I think though that the behaviour is actually the problem. Not the babysitting arrangement.

JohnFarleysRuskin Tue 11-Aug-15 18:13:46

Ds 14 babysits his younger siblings, but he is a good boy (I think!)
I would just say what's happened - fags stones etc without any should/should nots directed at her.

merrymouse Tue 11-Aug-15 18:18:47

Another 13 year old perhaps but not this 13 year old.

VixxFace Tue 11-Aug-15 18:47:06

I was babysitting from 11 (other people's children and own sibling) buy anyway your daughter is only 9, why didn't you try to speak to the mother before she went there?

You should have known there was no parental supervision there before letting your 9 year old be there.

CalmYourselfTubbs Tue 11-Aug-15 18:58:07

this has bad news written all over it.
i would keep DD well away from this boy. sounds like he has nefarious intentions.
i would not approach his family either.
just keep her away from them.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 11-Aug-15 19:00:14

It's the brothers friend doing these things, the brother sounds like he has him round often. I would not allow dd in that house when no parent is present. It is not a safe situation for your dd. she could have her friend to you.

IHaveBrilloHair Tue 11-Aug-15 19:04:02

A 13 yr old, perhaps, this 13 yr old no, but you knew that.

dippyd123 Tue 11-Aug-15 19:24:32

We went see the mum my neighbour did the talking shes appologised that theres neen problems and said she will have words with her son about whats gone on and protested that the set up is only for 3 hours a day and that the youger ones are supposed to be with her next door neighbour and not i the house..dont think she was overly surprised though was as if she knew what was going to be said and she had made a speech up whether son had warned her or not i dont know.

Either way dd has been warned to stay away and i didnt allow her round specifically theres a large group of friends who just follow each other round And i wasnt aware she had been in the house with them all.

And yer it seems to be the friends causing trouble mainly 1 boy the brother usually seems quite nice and grown up

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