DH leaving DS alone in bath

(87 Posts)
trackies Tue 11-Aug-15 10:47:19

Last year DH kept repeadly leaving 4 year old DS in bath on his own. DH would go and sit in study (on same floor as bathroom but out of sight) and sit in front of his computer claiming that he's listening out for DS. I explained that drowning is silent and caught DS on several occasions on his front, creating huge waves and mucking about. He has very little concept of safety despite it being explained. DH doesn't even notice when we are in same room talking to him when he is on his PC, but keeps saying he can hear if DS gets into trouble in bath! We eventually agreed last year that we would not leave him in bath on his own. Then this year DH left him on his own again in bath (hoping I wouldn't notice).

DisappointedOne Tue 11-Aug-15 10:50:02

I leave my rising 5 DD in the bath, mainly to avoid getting soaked to the skin myself. I chat to her constantly while I do things in the room next door or on the landing and stick my head around the door every 5-10 mins. She doesn't often have baths so can be in there for a good hour.

Notso Tue 11-Aug-15 10:55:47

I leave my four year old in the bath while I dry and dress my three year old.
Drowning is silent but my four year old isn't. If he is quiet I shout him and go straight in, am only next door. He is usually drinking the bath water hmm

scrivette Tue 11-Aug-15 10:56:35

I will leave 4 year old DS in the bath now and then to pop into other rooms on the same floor. I use it as a chance to put away washing. He makes a lot of noise and constantly talks to himself and I leave the door open.

DisappointedOne Tue 11-Aug-15 10:56:50

What is it with bath water?! grin

Iloveonionchutney Tue 11-Aug-15 10:58:00

My 4yr old dd will spend an hour in the bath, I'm usually doing something else like putting washing up away or tidying up in the bedrooms, I just call every now and then if she's quiet, no way could I sit in there the whole time with her.

StonedGalah Tue 11-Aug-15 10:58:59

I leave 4 yo DD in the bath. I did wonder what age but she seems perfectly fine to me.

brunettebunny Tue 11-Aug-15 11:00:00

YANBU.
Have you heard of silent drowning? Where children can swallow water and then hours later drown from it? I think they have to really gulp it down, but still, it can happen and if no-one is watching him then you wont know if he has or not. Don't mean to alarm you - but maybe you can e-mail DH a link to an article on it, seeing as he loves being on the computer so much?!
Personally I always view bath time as an opportunity to spend time together with my DS, not dump him in there and swan off to do something else that surely could be done later?
Then this year DH left him on his own again in bath (hoping I wouldn't notice) - wtf?

lotrben17 Tue 11-Aug-15 11:00:22

i'm surprised you can't leave your ds at 4 alone in the bath...maybe you need to have a family meeting about it and agree bath rules with DS and DH. I agree that I would generally fuss around in the bedroom and check every few minutes but at 4 they have to have some responsibility, don't they? You have a bath mat etc? If DS is doing dangerous stuff, he needs to stop, he's old enough to understand dangerous bath behaviour.

TheOriginalWinkly Tue 11-Aug-15 11:00:35

How different the responses are from this thread. OP YANBU. I would quietly slip up and take your DD downstairs and see how long it takes for your husband to notice.

Iggly Tue 11-Aug-15 11:00:49

I've only started leaving my 5 year old alone in the bathroom but only to grab a towel or something. Why take the risk? The bath gets quite slippery and he messes about.

I'm sure that life isn't that hectic that you can't sit with them in the time it takes to get them clean

Notso Tue 11-Aug-15 11:01:01

I know DisappointedOne. This is a child who wails if offered water instead of squash, but luke warm, slightly soapy, dirty water gets guzzled down buy the cupful.

Emochild Tue 11-Aug-15 11:01:15

OP what age do you think you will be ok with leaving DS in the bath?

lotrben17 Tue 11-Aug-15 11:01:40

brunette doesn't this again come down to traiing your DC not to do things like gulping down water and explain what can happen rather than constant parental vigilance at this age?

EatDessertFirst Tue 11-Aug-15 11:04:08

DD6 and DS4 are left in the bathroom alone. They play noisily (and also drink bathwater?!) and our bathroom is downstairs so I can hear them while I'm clearing up from dinner/sorting washing etc.

PartyFops Tue 11-Aug-15 11:04:16

I would be more worried about the silent drowning while swimming, she swallows loads. I leave my 4 year old in the bath all the time. She is so noisy, any silence and I'm in there straight away.

TheCowThatLaughs Tue 11-Aug-15 11:07:18

I think it's too young to leave him and be doing something else that consumes attention eg being on a computer. Going in the next room for a minute while talking to the chs is different.

TheCowThatLaughs Tue 11-Aug-15 11:07:40

To the child! Don't know what chs is

OrionsAccessory Tue 11-Aug-15 11:10:11

I leave my two in the bath on their own. They're very loud. If they go quiet I pop my head round the door or shout them to check they're ok. They like to have loooong baths and I don't particularly want to hang around in the bathroom listening to squealing for an hour and a half, nothing to do with being too busy!

kaftanlady Tue 11-Aug-15 11:12:08

I would suggest reading this thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2446291-To-remind-you-never-take-your-eyes-off-your-child-in-water

Leaving your kids alone in the bath is a very bad idea.

trackies Tue 11-Aug-15 11:12:35

I googled and found gov guidelines that say not to leave kids unsupervised around water until 8 and the dangers of silent drowning. I haven't got an age into head yet. I think
I'll just know when he's ready but at the moment DS sees any safety advice as a bit of a joke and doesn't take it seriously. He was quiet when I went upstairs and found him in the bath. But yes I should have waited to see how long it would take for DH to notice.

kaftanlady Tue 11-Aug-15 11:13:20

Sorry that's about swimming not baths, my apologies!

Read in a hurry after reading this and thought they meant bath!

kaftanlady Tue 11-Aug-15 11:14:18

But the OP is right about silent drowning. By the time you notice they've been quiet for a bit they could have taken in a lot of water.

lotrben17 Tue 11-Aug-15 11:14:22

i've read it - and i think this is like the thing about when you leave your dc alone in the house. I'm very vigilant but we can't baby our dc forever, we have to slowly make them aware of risk around the house and let them do things on their own where there is risk involved. My DD is ready to be on her own for small amounts of time in the bath at 4 with some supervision, maybe others aren't.

brunettebunny Tue 11-Aug-15 11:15:57

lotrben17 I don't think its worth the risk, I'm not sure that at this age they will really 'get' what could happen anyway.
PartyFops surely they can still swallow water whilst being noisy? ie lying on tummy in bath, kicking legs/ arms and gulping water down?

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