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I blame mobile phones!

(16 Posts)
KuteKat3 Tue 11-Aug-15 02:02:02

My 16 year old son has been dating a girl in his year since October. All has been fine until summer hols started and they are intent on seeing or texting each other all the time. Cute you may think. However, after she came back from a family hol overseas, my husband took my 16 year old and younger brother on a dad and lads 3 day trip camping. While away the girlfriend was texting about how unwell she was feeling with a sore throat since her return despite appearing fine the day before they left for their camping trip. What was being texted between the two got my son so 'stressed' that he asked to come home early to see her and buy her favorite cough sweets. I was slightly surprised and disappointed that he chose her over his family but let it go. However, what this whole rant leads to, is that we are driving back from our 1week trip abroad when he announces that he has made arrangements to see her as soon as we get home. As it was 7.30 pm and we had already agreed that he could be dropped off early the next day, we said No! He ended up up crying - yes crying - saying he really needed to see her as she'd had a bad week ( argument with mum, dog having to be rehoused). Now our second break is surrounded by sadness and slammed doors. Is it time to speak to her mum or do I let it go. They will shortly be going to college together to start A levels and I worry it will impact on his work.

Boardingblues Tue 11-Aug-15 02:12:02

Well you could call her mum, alternatively you could just but his genitals off…. Same effect!

BlueMoonRising Tue 11-Aug-15 07:08:20

I'm not sure what your aibu is.

Yanbu to be concerned.

Yabu if you think a 16 yo is going to prioritise family over a girlfriend.

Yanbu to think the girlfriend or her family would be legacy capable of getting cough sweets for her.

Seriouslyffs Tue 11-Aug-15 07:13:32

I think I would not have come home early from camping but would have let him go straight over after the second holiday. The prioritising over family is par for the course at this age.

gamerchick Tue 11-Aug-15 07:22:23

You've forgotten what it's like at this age and no you shouldn't speak to her mother.

Pick your battles because the more fuss you make the more irresistible they'll be to each other.

MaximiseProductivity Tue 11-Aug-15 07:24:10

I think his behaviour is OTT but pretty normal for a 16yo who thinks this is "it". I think it would be a rare 16yo who prioritised family over his friends let alone GF and he had just spent a week with you.

I wouldn't have let him come home from the camping trip and I'd be confiscating his phone at certain times of the day if he really can't focus on anything else.

However, I would have let him see her as soon as he got home. If you'd been away from DP for a week, wouldn't you expect to see him/him to see you at 7:30 the eve he got back rather than wait til morning?

I don't think anything is to be gained from speaking to her mum, any interference from parents at this stage will just make things worse (make them more determined to be together) and her parents probably think it's all down to him anyway.

lighteningirl Tue 11-Aug-15 07:24:46

Ignore him he if wants to go out he can walk cycle or swim there why are you dropping him off that would be the issue for me. I would be tired getting home at 7.30 with the usual mountain of washing and unpacking is he not helping to unpack? Sort out house? If not he can go out but no lifts. Just remember this is first love he has never felt anything like truly believes in this wonderful new all consuming passion he has years of learning reality ahead.

daisychain01 Tue 11-Aug-15 07:57:39

I loved the bit about him itching to get back home so he can buy her some cough sweets. That's a classic. Reminds me of how I was at that age.

Sorry, reality check here - family is waaaaaay down the pecking order when love is involved. I'd get used to it if I were you.

MaximiseProductivity Tue 11-Aug-15 08:01:57

"I was slightly surprised and disappointed that he chose her over his family"

You have some work to do before you become a MIL grin

Catsize Tue 11-Aug-15 08:12:44

You've brought him up to love and care and show empathy. That's a good thing, right?

Just wondering if these evil phones have Gretna Green's hotline in 'contacts'...

lilacblossomtime Tue 11-Aug-15 08:17:32

Awww it's kind of sweet, young love, poor lad.

Ragwort Tue 11-Aug-15 08:22:31

Sounds pretty normal, I look back and cringe at how obsessed I was with boyfriends at that age - I never went on family holidays from about 12 so I think it is rather nice that your DS even goes with you. grin.

Family holidays with teenagers can be hideous as many of them would rather be with their mates or girl/boy friends. Last night I was talking to my son's 14 year old friend who had spent 2 weeks in Greece with his family at a fabulous water sports based resort ............ his comment 'boring - glad to be home'. They were sitting around eating pot noodles in our garage - obviously more fun that a holiday abroad. grin.

Charley50 Tue 11-Aug-15 08:25:58

grin Ragwort!

TwinkieTwinkle Tue 11-Aug-15 08:40:48

It's normal teenage behaviour. I'm surprised you wouldn't allow your 16 year old son go visit his girlfriend on return from holiday. He had spent a week with you, what was the issue letting him go visit? By the time I was 16 I wasn't told by my parents when I could and couldn't go out. We had rules but they weren't strict. It did m no harm.

RealityCheque Tue 11-Aug-15 08:48:04

Agree with most of the others. Coming back from camp early was weird (should have had a phone ban there, IMO).

YWBVU about not letting him see his gf the night he got back.

Mistigri Tue 11-Aug-15 09:07:12

He's 16, he's not a child, and it's normal for his friends/girlfriends to be higher up the list of priorities than family.

Assuming he organises his own transport then it's unreasonable to ban him from going out when you get home.

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