Bloody HV

[NinjaPanda34]

I could write a book about my health visitor. Today she said "oh x's eye looks really sore", er you silly moo, it's a birth mark and it's the same fcuking birthmark that you comment on every time you come. It's red. It's a birthmark. There is nothing wrong with his eye.
Sigh.

[wheresthelight]

Haha I have one across the small of my back that the hv when I was little used to comment on every single time!

Now my GP or physio comments every time I go

[spicyfajitas]

We'd just been talking about my son's excema with my hv when she pointed at a patch and asked " is that a burn?".

[NinjaPanda34]

I have 7. One looks just like a map of India at the top of my leg! Ooh! :)

[FarFromAnyRoad]

I don't know what HVs are for really. Many years ago now mine got the boot. My 11 month old colicky DS was asleep with a dummy in his mouth.
"Oh" she said "A dummy. Something must be wrong at home - do you want to tell me what?"

Seriously. Never saw the silly cow again.

[Charis1]

is the birthmark an indication of anything?

[icclemunchy]

My HV with DD1 told me I'd get PND because she was disfigured

She has a strawberry birthmark on her face which is well on its way to going, and funnily enough I didn't go to see her again

[NinjaPanda34]

Interfering? Box ticking?

[ChwatFeechers]

Not a HV tale, but when I was younger I had an eye infection and went to see a newly qualified GP who looked in my eye and ummed and ahhed and told me I ''had an odd little hole in the corner of my eye''.
I immediately feared the worst.

She left the room to speak to a colleague and came back in red faced explaining it was a tear duct.

[Zeitgeistic]

My DD has a birthmark on her tummy. Every time she got weighed as a baby the HV used to say something along the lines of 'what's rubbed her there? Gosh, it looks sore'. I used to politely correct her but I longed to shout 'It's a BIRTHMARK and you see it every single week you irritating fucking twit'.

So you have my sympathies OP.

[NinjaPanda34]

Charis, nope they just happen.

Icclemunchy what a stupid thing for your HV to say. I'd be like ->

[2tired2bewitty]

If it's any consolation, I'm 34 and have a 50p sized birthmark just above my ankle, every so often one of my parents will ask what I have done to my leg

[carriebrody]

To be fair they see 100s of kids a week, I doubt yours is particularly memorable!

[CanIBeTimmythedog]

My eldest has a large strawberry birthmark on her thigh.
HV thought it was a meningitis rash. She'd only seen her weekly for the past 9 months . I ended up explaining it was a birthmark and that her raised temp and red cheeks were possibly due to teething not anything more sinister!
You have my sympathy.

[NinjaPanda34]

2tired haha! That's brilliant! I get that too, but every time when my Dad offers me nuts I have to go "Righto Dad, I'll just get me epipen... Still allergic!"

[craftysewer]

DD is 20 and has a birthmark on her eyelid. She has been friends with a girl from school since she was 11. Only last week did I realise the friend has a birth mark on exactly the same eyelid.

[NinjaPanda34]

Carriebrody, the marks written down in the red books. As far as I know they're the only baby twins she's dealing with at the mo... They are rather memorable :)

[fermentedvaper]

I refused to see my hv who had the the most hairy legs I have ever seen when I raised concerns about ds3s constant projectile vomiting and the obvious pain he was in following food. She informed me that my baby ds was absolutely fine and I was obviously a paranoid mother or attention seeking . Err no you stupid cow, he is not my first and I know when my child is not well. He was diagnosed a week later by GP as lactose intolerant. Within 3 weeks of a dairy free diet I had the happiest little boy any mother could wish for.

Interestingly he grew out of his intolerance and will happily drink milk as if it's going out of fashion. I'm thinking buying a cow to keep up with demand

[WoonerismSpit]

HV asked me in a firm but concerned tone 'what has caused such a bruise on [DD's] tailbone?'

It's a Mongolian blue spot you silly woman, she must see loads of them.

When DD was a few hours old and I was changing her nappy a midwife saw it and remarked 'ere, is her dad foreign?'

I said no, he's English. He's black, but English! What an unnecessary thing to say.

[LittleCandle]

My first HV was fine, apart from the fact that she couldn't change how she asked questions. When she asked DD1 if she could see the horse in the picture, DD1 said yes. Clearly, this was the wrong thing to do and she should have simply pointed to the horse...

The second HV was a raging alcoholic and was never, ever sober when I saw her. She came out to assess DD2, accepted a cup of pretend tea from her and then asked if she ever used imaginative play...

Complete waste of space. What is their function?

[spillyobeans]

My hv is what me and dh Call ' a no-righter' . Shes just very strange. Shes quite elderly and sits for ages in a really awkward silence

[Gizmo2206]

My HV asked if my 4 week old baby was smiling yet (she was also 5 weeks premature) when I said no she shouldn't even be born yet she told me to "keep an eye on her and if she doesn't develop properly to let someone know"

[molyholy]

I decided not to bother with the hv after she told me my dd was going to be like her just look at a cream cake and put on pounds . This 'health' visitor was a round as she was tall, stunk of fags and had teeth that looked like they had been sewn in with black cotton. Well my dd was chubby. Me and dh come from a line of massive babies (none under 10lbs). Anyway it made me cry and I never went back. I did grass her in though and over 6 years on I have never forgot it and always hoped she got in trouble

[ArmySal]

Over what is really an innocuous comment, molyholy?

I hope she didn't get into any trouble after you 'grassed her in'.

[Charis1]

Charis, nope they just happen.

some do, some don't, I'm just asking because you mention BOTH of you having them.

[msgrinch]

"grass her in" (?) over a silly comment like that.