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To dislike children calling their parents by their names?

(72 Posts)
LavenderLedge Mon 10-Aug-15 12:15:44

I think it sounds disrespectful.

PingpongDingDong Mon 10-Aug-15 12:16:58

I sometimes call my parents by their first names, they like it, I like it. It wouldn't bother me if dd did this too.

HedgehogAtHome Mon 10-Aug-15 12:17:17

Don't let any children you have do it.

I called my Dad by his first name for years, have huge respect for him.

PingpongDingDong Mon 10-Aug-15 12:18:10

It's not disrespectful if the parents like it. I think in some ways it acknowledges them as a person in their own right.

AuntyMag10 Mon 10-Aug-15 12:18:15

Why would you feel disrespected if it's not your child confused that's very odd.

Redshoes55 Mon 10-Aug-15 12:18:59

Not disrespectful but a bit sad. After all you only have one mum and dad but you can call anyone and everyone else by their first name.

Think it's usually for the parents benefit anyway to appear cool. Not for the chikdrens benefit.

DaysAreWhereWeLive Mon 10-Aug-15 12:20:20

DS (2) swings between Mummy, Mama and my own name. I love hearing all of them. How is it disrespectful? He's not shouting 'Oi, sack of shit, where's my tea?' confused

mummytime Mon 10-Aug-15 12:21:55

Its their parents choice - not disrespectful if their parents agree to it.

You'd have been horrified by my DCs school (and another one I thought of sending them to) where the students call their teachers by their first names. Actually there was more respect at the schools, as it was mutual respect.

Respect doesn't depend on titles. The use of titles and which titles is a cultural thing.

slightlyeggstained Mon 10-Aug-15 12:22:24

Tell my toddler that Red.

He uses mummy and daddy most of the time. But if he's bellowing for us to come over, for some odd reason he uses our names (I guess copying us).

BerylStreep Mon 10-Aug-15 12:23:05

The only person I know who does this is my SIL, who I find a bit pretentious, so I'm afraid my view on the issue is a bit tainted by that.

slightlyeggstained Mon 10-Aug-15 12:24:47

This thread is putting me in mind of Bernard from Black Books filling out his tax return: "Mother's name? I just knew her as Ma!"

PingpongDingDong Mon 10-Aug-15 12:25:02

My parents don't feel the need to be cool! It's something I started doing in my teens as a joke but then they liked it and I like it. Why's it sad fgs?! I have the most supportive, caring parents of anyone I know, we're very secure in our relationship.

DancingDinosaur Mon 10-Aug-15 12:28:20

I always called my mum by her first name, dd always calls me by my first name. I don't think its disrespectful, but if you don't like it then don't let your children do it.

AGirlIsNoOne Mon 10-Aug-15 12:29:20

This is obviously not statistically representative in any way; but everyone I've met over my lifetime who calls their parents by their first names has had a very odd and dysfunctional family dynamic. Think either growing up in communes/early abandonment type stuff.

So my view on this is coloured. IMO it's weird.

Tobiasfunke Mon 10-Aug-15 12:31:25

DS does it. Has done since he was small. He is 7 now. I don't care. He is perfectly respectful .He occassionally calls us Mum and Dad but not often. If he was calling me Dickhead or fuckwit you might have a point.
No communes round here or abandonment and we aren't posh or hippies.

I'd rather be called Tobias than Mummy.

bigbluebus Mon 10-Aug-15 12:31:34

I've only ever heard one person do this, and it's the teenage daughter of a friend of mine. Made me laugh really - I don't think it's disrespectful at all. When I was a child, I called all my friend's parents Mrs X or Mr Y - never by their 1st names. All my DCs friends call us by our 1st names as do our friend's DCs. I think I would find it odd if they called me Mrs Bigbluebus all the time.

scribblegirl Mon 10-Aug-15 12:33:50

Think it's an odd thing to be concerned about if it's not your children.

I still use mummy and daddy (although according to who you talk to, that either makes me a developmentally challenged adult with 'issues' or incredibly posh) because those were their 'names' to me and I never saw the point to changing them. I would refer to them as Mum and Dad to others 'I'm going to call my mum tonight' but when she picks up the phone I'd say 'hi mummy'.

Some people think it's weird but <shrugs> it's my family and my parents are happy with it. I'd have the same philosophy for first names.

mumzuki Mon 10-Aug-15 12:35:09

Do you mean adult children, or actual children? I've called my parents by their names since my late teens, as our relationship became more equal. Much prefer that to hearing adults refer to 'mummy'!

AuntyMag10 Mon 10-Aug-15 12:35:44

I think it's silly to be 'sad' or feel it's 'disrespectful' about something that doesn't even affect your own life. Why would you feel sad for a parent who has no problem with it.

mumzuki Mon 10-Aug-15 12:36:57

Sorry, scribblegirl, cross-posted - that wasn't meant to be about you in particular!

DancingDinosaur Mon 10-Aug-15 12:37:39

grin No I didn't grow up in a commune, and my mum and dad were one of the few amongst my friends parents who stayed married. My family were very safe and supportive. My relationship with my daughter isn't dysfunctional either. Well, no more than anyone elses anyway!!!

MiniLop Mon 10-Aug-15 12:40:29

slightlyeggstained that's v clever I think! If you're at the park and hear someone calling "mummy!!" all the mums look round. If they're using your real name it's much easier to pinpoint which mummy is actually wanted! grin

IShallCallYouSquishy Mon 10-Aug-15 12:49:00

I find it a bit disrespectful tbh. My DD (ok only 3.2 so plenty of time to rebel yet) is also taught to call her little friends parents things like Sophia's mummy, Jack's mummy etc. (not real names)

SylvanianCaracal Mon 10-Aug-15 12:49:05

I don't think it necessarily means anything bad (/pretentious/trying to be cool whatever)

BUT I grew up knowing a family who did it and it put me off. They had this "we are all chums together in our family and treat our children like grown-ups" attitude. All well and good but they didn't really parent their kids at all. They really did treat them like grown-ups - left them on their own really young, didn't want to know about their problems. One of the DC had severe anorexia so was packed off to live with friends (luckily the friends did play a parental role and helped a lot, but shock).

The first-name terms thing now makes me shudder a bit as I always think of them.

scribblegirl Mon 10-Aug-15 13:06:20

Mumzuki no worries grin

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