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To think that people who purposely live apart in order to claim more benefits are hard faced, entitled idiots?

(142 Posts)
SecretlyLaughing Sun 09-Aug-15 17:27:11

Can't help but feel annoyed, pissed off and rather fuming following a conversation with one of my so called friends this morning, and I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable, because as far as I'm concerned I'm not, but according to my friend I'm blowing things out of proportion.

For a while now I've suspected that something dodgy was going on between her and her partner and without sounding bitter or nasty I've always wondered how she's been able to live the life she does and afford the things she has when she's supposedley a single parent on minimum wage. She supposedley split from her partner (to her four children) two years ago, whilst they were together they lived a modest lifestyle with the occasional treats etc (rather like me and my dh) but since they've separated she's suddenly bought herself a new Audi, she's out every weekend with friends, she has weekly spa/hair/tanning appointments, is splashing out on designer clothes et etc and whilst usually this sort of thing doesn't bother me and good on people who can afford these sort of things, like I said, I always wondered how she was affording it all, well now I know.

I decided as she was a friend to ask her outright what was going on, and after doging a few questions and acting kind of awkward she finally admitted the truth. She admitted that she made her partner move to his dad's house so that she could claim more in benefits ie housing benefit, tax credits, council tax relief, and income support (she works 10 hour a week).

I asked her if her and her partner were struggling and is that why they felt the need to do what they had done and she said no, and that they were simply sick and tired of not being able to afford all the little extras, such as holidays, nights out, fancy clothes, lavish Christmas's etc etc and that they knew they'd get at with it. Basically she was told by another friend (a rather dodgy friend!) that if her other half is registered elsewhere or for mail, doctors, dentist, bills etc then the "benefits people" can't touch her and that's she'd get away with claiming as single, despite still be very much involved with her "ex".

Well to say I was shocked (despite my initial suspicion) is an understatement, I mean if she had done this because she was struggling that would still be bad enough but maybe I could have understood but she's done this out of pure greed! And to top it off she knows that me and my dh have been struggling lately (nothing too serious) and that we've had to budget like crazy to afford the essentials and all she has done is brag about her upcoming foreign holidays, that her "ex" is also going on! So this morning I'd had enough, I told her exactly what I thought of her and stormed off, she's dunce phoned me around thirty times and text saying she wants to sort things out. But how can I be friends with such a lying, manipulative person?

HirplesWithHaggis Sun 09-Aug-15 18:00:21

She hasn't bought a new Audi etc on the proceeds of a 10hr nmw job and associated top-ups. Unless her "ex" is a very high earner and willing to supply the spa days and so on (I doubt he is, if they were struggling before, but if he is, why shouldn't he?) she's doing something else on the side.

SecretlyLaughing Sun 09-Aug-15 18:06:15

Her "ex" earns around 35K a year but as he's self employed (on the side) he told benefits that he only earns 6k so he claims working tax credit as an individual and as she can't "legally" claim anything through CSA as he earns to little it appears to look logout but it obviously isn't.

WorraLiberty Sun 09-Aug-15 18:08:48

Haha! She's shitting you.

No way could she afford a new Audi, designer stuff and foreign holidays from this.

They're probably selling drugs or something...

Bellemere Sun 09-Aug-15 18:10:05

You're talking nonsense. She can claim through CSA (CMS as it is now) even if he only claims JSA.

SecretlyLaughing Sun 09-Aug-15 18:13:07

I'm not talking nonsense, I'm merely stating what she told me. And I'm sorry but I myself drive an Audi ( my dh earns 25k and I earn 15k) so it's entirely do able! But let me just say we got an amazing deal and saves for two years to be able to afford the down payment.

HirplesWithHaggis Sun 09-Aug-15 18:14:43

You'd be surprised, Bellemere (I was) but my friend's ex is also self-employed and pays zero maintenance because he claims to earn so little.

(That policy fucked him over when he wanted to get a mortgage though, so swings and roundabouts...)

lighteningirl Sun 09-Aug-15 18:16:10

Doesn't add up but this genuinely does happen at my slimming group a member lost 5 stone and was outraged to learn that her disability benefit was at risk turned out she and her partner lived separately to also make maximum claim He had a good job and they were always on holiday. Mind you it was caravans and interrail definitely not regular spa days and a new audi. Sadly she left our group and put the weight back on rather than run the risk of having to pay for herself in life.

ssd Sun 09-Aug-15 18:16:13

yep, I work with someone doing this, lives with a guy with a good job, he says he lives with his mum and she claims benefits as a single mum of young kids, she doesnt hide it and she told me shes never short of money

makes being married honest and upfront feel daft

lighteningirl Sun 09-Aug-15 18:16:53

I thought csa was £5 a week even on jsa?

pinkchoctruffle Sun 09-Aug-15 18:17:04

To be fair a single parent to four children would get a lot of money in tax credits.

I'm not arguing the rights and wrongs of it but it is a fairly substantial ampunt of money.

HowDdo2You Sun 09-Aug-15 18:18:18

Comparison is the thief of joy.

How are other things in your life op? How about putting energy into finding a part time job to help your income?

ssd Sun 09-Aug-15 18:20:09

Comparison is the thief of joy.


benefits should go to people who need them, not to people who play the system

lighteningirl Sun 09-Aug-15 18:20:13

Report her she's a thief and its our money she's stealing

SecretlyLaughing Sun 09-Aug-15 18:20:24

Well she told me he doesn't have to pay CSA or whatever it's now called but who knows, she's probably told them they have a mutual agreement and as far as I'm aware benefits are not impacted through the receival of CSA anyway.

SecretlyLaughing Sun 09-Aug-15 18:21:40

Erm, I have a part time job, alongside my dh who works between 50 and 60 hours per week!

fedupbutfine Sun 09-Aug-15 18:21:42

makes being married honest and upfront feel daft

yeah, let's shit on all the single parents, eh? 'cos they're obviously all the same?

And plenty of married, honest and upfront people claim Tax Credits and other benefits legitimately.

SecretlyLaughing Sun 09-Aug-15 18:24:19

I'm personally not shitting on all single parents, not one bit. The point is my "friend" isn't a single parent, she's a greedy, entitled cow! And I've already asked her what she would do if someone were to report her and he just laughed, saying that he's "legally" registered elsewhere so they wouldn't be able to prove that they were a couple! It makes me feel sick it really does.

pinkchoctruffle Sun 09-Aug-15 18:26:35

People have always done this. I had a relative (also with four children) who was doing this in the 1990s.

Out of interest I just went on entitled and the OPs friend (I guessed ages of children of course) would be entitled to nearly £360 p/w not including HB and CT benefit.

Having said that OP I don't think if she is a friend it is great to quiz her on such matters.

ssd Sun 09-Aug-15 18:26:41

I didnt say that fedup, but if you want to take offence when none was given then fill your boots

SylvanianCaliphate Sun 09-Aug-15 18:26:57

I only need to know if they got the free goat?

Yknow before I explode with rage frustration and mouth froth.

fedupbutfine Sun 09-Aug-15 18:27:07

my comment wasn't aimed at you Secretly.

ssd Sun 09-Aug-15 18:28:02

yeah it was to me and youve seen my answer

AndNowItsSeven Sun 09-Aug-15 18:28:22

Pinkchoc a single mum to four dc would receive around £200 a week in TC if unemployed .That's not a substantial amount to raise four children!

fedupbutfine Sun 09-Aug-15 18:29:41

I didnt say that fedup, but if you want to take offence when none was given then fill your boots

well, yes, you did say that...

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