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Aibu to ask him to give me a bit space

(8 Posts)
Timetobreath Sun 09-Aug-15 16:51:57

We had a stupid argument earlier. I wanted a breather and some time to think as I it was getting heated and we have 2 dcs in house. He has history last year of going too far and getting aggressive (not me physically) but punching walls kicking doors etc scaring me and kids. I left him for this and he has been taking antidepressants since. Recently things have been good and he seems calm. I went to the bedroom and he walked in wanting to talk. I asked 5 times calmly and politely for him to leave me alone. He refused. I went to the bathroom and he sat outside talking. I asked again to be left. He said why, what are you going to do about it. I was getting very nervous by this point and wanted to be near the kids knowing that if he kicked off I could get them out the house. He sat on the couch while I did drawing in the next room with them. I am currently hiding in the bathroom. So am I wrong? Should I allow him to say his piece and just shut up or is this as I think it is and not the behaviour of a loving stable husband. He took his antidepressant tablets when I went downstairs and shouted he wasn't taking them anymore as he flushed them down the sink (or pretended to) I'm thinking of packing up my poor kids and going away for the last week of the holidays but I'm feeling sick, scared, angry at us going back to this stage in our relationship.

DoreenLethal Sun 09-Aug-15 16:54:35

If you are scared in your own house then of course you are not being unreasonable to want some space. How's about permanently?

You left him for this so why are you back there?

Timetobreath Sun 09-Aug-15 16:59:19

I'm back because he had a breakdown and aside from that he's always been a loving attentive supportive dh he's an amazing dad and I love him very much. I walked after the behaviour but he agreed to counselling, anti depressants and anything he needed to do to keep our family together. It's been good since. This is the first I've seen the scary side of him since last year and I had never seen it in the 18 years we have been together. Today has made me nervous though.

DoreenLethal Sun 09-Aug-15 17:28:36

I'm back because he had a breakdown

Sorry - why does his breakdown mean you had to go back?

He is not an amazing dad if he is threatening you in front of the kids; to the extent of you having to flee.

Timetobreath Sun 09-Aug-15 17:48:43

I'm not back because of the breakdown. His behaviour was due to a breakdown. I tried to support him but he was acting like today so I left. I came back after he promised to get help. He's been fine since, apart from today

Timetobreath Sun 09-Aug-15 17:53:22

....and he hasn't threatened me in front of the kids. He stopped talking once I sat with the kids. I was nervous that he could escalate like last year as he was not leaving me alone and I could see him getting angrier. He hasn't got to that point. The Aibu question was Aibu to expect him to give me some space. Or maybe I made it worse by not talking. I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

Suefla62 Sun 09-Aug-15 17:56:42

We don't know either. We'd be silly to advise either way. You know him we don't. If you feel it's dangerous leave.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 09-Aug-15 17:58:46

You are not being unreasonable to want some space or to ask for it. His behaviour sounds unreaaonable and unpleasant.

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