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AIBU to find MN intimidating?

(189 Posts)
ICantThinkOfAUsernameH Sun 09-Aug-15 16:40:26

I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous - recently joined and have posted a few times but find it scary blush .
I thought I was well-educated albeit a young mum, but reading some threads makes me feel scared Apprehensive to post .
I'm being silly aren't I?! Or do I belong on a certain other site instead haha!

ICantThinkOfAUsernameH Sun 09-Aug-15 16:41:33

Was meant to be scared oops

ollieplimsoles Sun 09-Aug-15 16:42:14

a certain other site

Do you mean nethuns mums?

LeChien Sun 09-Aug-15 16:43:10

AIBU is a scary place I agree, but chat is usually easy going.
Most areas I find are full of supportive, knowledgeable people, unless you're a twat, then they're feisty and tell it like it is grin

cleanindahouse Sun 09-Aug-15 16:45:11

Chat is quite nice. AIBU is terrifying.

magimedi Sun 09-Aug-15 16:45:40

AIBU is 'robust'!

But there are lots of other lovely places to post wheer you will find advice, support, laughter & friends.

If that's what you want avoid AIBU & maybe even _chat

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 09-Aug-15 16:45:44


<runs away laughing>

Oh, wait, it's about us being well educated... Umm, the post-modern interpretation of the urrrrr, I'm done.

pinkchoctruffle Sun 09-Aug-15 16:45:52

I like Mumsnet. I like how intelligent a lot of the posters are, how it's challenged me to see and think about things I didn't even notice and how supportive it can be.

I do think some threads can go very 'dog with a bone' and posters are ridiculously affronted at their 'helpful advice' not being acted upon immediately. I also hate the cross examination style some threads go.

So I don't know. Sometimes it stresses me out more than it should.

I would pick MN over other sites any day - I have found it welcoming and friendly - I have met a number of a manners in real,life, and have had a lot of support and kindness from MNers.

Maybe lurk a while, or dip a toe into some of the funny threads until you feel you've found your feet here - I really believe it is a wonderful place. I also believe everyone has something to offer - you are a unique person, with things no one else has to offer - different experiences and insights.

Welcome to MN, and I hope you find it as wonderful a place as I have. thanks

Totality22 Sun 09-Aug-15 16:47:02

AIBU is pretty tough going. I've got a pretty thick skin and don't give a shit what strangers online think of me but I've felt quite attacked on some of my AIBU threads I tend to read / post on other threads as opposed to start my own these days

Pagwatch Sun 09-Aug-15 16:47:13

You are using an alias.
Just post and try to remember that no one knows who you are and threads last a few days max.
Learn the art of hiding threads that start to annoy you.

PacificDogwood Sun 09-Aug-15 16:48:20

I love MN, I love its robust tone, it's what made me stay after I stumbled across it, but I can see that it can be off-putting.

AIBU is Advanced MNing, only to be entered in with full body armour grin


<whistles 'Hotel California'>

Do stay smilethankswine

ICantThinkOfAUsernameH Sun 09-Aug-15 16:50:57

Yeah I think I've jumped right in haha! Still new to the site and I just don't understand some conversations blush
I shall keep on here for nowsmile

VulcanWoman Sun 09-Aug-15 16:52:02

I agree that it's more harsh than the darkside, better variety of threads though.

drudgetrudy Sun 09-Aug-15 16:53:47

On AIBU people like to sharpen their wits-the secret is to listen to what they say but not to get over-invested in it. Sometimes you learn a lot and, as people are honest, you get a real insight into how they think.
No-one necessarily knows best though, they just give different perspectives.
You find the occasional nasty poster that just comes on to have a go but the vast majority aren't like that.
There are lots of quieter sections like Books etc

PacificDogwood Sun 09-Aug-15 16:54:35

I think NM vs MN is like liking or hating Marmite - there is no middle ground.
I can see the merits of NM but it was not for me - one look at the tickers and I was away grin
But I concede I am more of a 'manly slap on the back' kinda woman, even in RL.

You'll fit right in, ICant, I get the impression.
Read and learn.
Have you found the page that explains the acronyms?

VulcanWoman Sun 09-Aug-15 16:55:19

Yes, some of the threads seem to have insider jokes and the letters/codes I have to look up.

AllThatGlistens Sun 09-Aug-15 16:55:59

Hang around a while, don't post anything too twattish and you'll be fine wink

Seriously, it's a great site, there's an abundance of fab posters here and the support can be phenomenal.

Yes, there are a fair few of us that have been rattling around for years so there may be some "in-jokes" that might sound baffling to newcomers, but you'll soon pick the majority of references up.

AIBU is lawless, develop a rhino hide and jump in! And if you cock up or want to hide you can name change and start again grin

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 09-Aug-15 16:56:10

Well you're braver than me. I lurked for years before I posted, and have only started about three threads. None in AIBU.

Bambambini Sun 09-Aug-15 16:57:21

Yanbu. It can be very intimidating, especially AIBU. It also knocks spots off of the other website if you actually want to learn, debate, laugh and cry - but the other site does have it's place.

BallsforEarrings Sun 09-Aug-15 16:58:01

It doesn't matter what anyone says to you Icant because it's all anonymous and it also involves a vast pool of conflicting opinions from various levels of intelligence, some will give intelligent carefully thought out and well-meant responses, some will give out ignorant 'fish wife' type of put downs and everything in between, but the great thing is - none of it's real so have some fun and let your hair down, it's not real life you can ask anything and it doesn't matter who says what. It's really FUN!! grin

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 09-Aug-15 16:58:32

The well educated thing is an absolute Godsend sometimes. Even DH, who is an engineer and very fussy about his nerd-wisdom, was reading MN when the Malaysian plane went down. There were some very intelligent, knowledgeable MNers on those threads. The sheer level of knowledge and critical reasoning on here is, I think, some of the best on the net.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty Sun 09-Aug-15 17:00:28

MN always reminds me of a popular, old fashioned pub - the sort where you open the door and are hit by a blast of noise and activity, occasional cussing because it is an adult environment, and lots of people -many of whom are regulars and know each other reasonably well - are stood around chatting. It can be really intimidating going up to the bar for the first time in those sorts of places, until you work out what the "done" thing is (will holding out a note as you wait your turn get you served faster or marked down as a wanker?). You either persevere and decide that it is actually a decent place, and you know the dos and don'ts and start to recognize a few regulars; or you decide that you prefer the quiet gastro pub down the road instead.

And AIBU is like the pool tables in the corner of a popular pub, where there is a different sub-set of expected behaviour (often difficult to detect for a while), and everyone's been drinking all day so they aren't afraid to say what they think smile

Sparklingbrook Sun 09-Aug-15 17:00:51

Hide the whole AIBU topic, and MN will suddenly become very pleasant indeed. Some posters seem to never venture from AIBU and think that's all MN actually is. sad

Welshmaenad Sun 09-Aug-15 17:00:52

It's taken me a long time to get into the rhythm of mumsnet, but I love it now.

I almost exclusively hang out in aibu, and have had a few drubbings, but also tons of genuine support.

We're just people. Imagine us naked, if it helps naturally I'm a stunner

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