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To not provide holiday clothes

(58 Posts)
Littlemisstuffit Sun 09-Aug-15 14:54:56

and slightly churlish?.....

Ex pays the minimum maintenance possible. Often "forgets" and I have to to text him to ask for it. Refused to offer any money for DDs residential or equipment as "that's what maintenance is for". I asked for some help with uniforms and he said he can't do anything now, possibly end of Sept hmm

He has just returned from a two week holiday to Aruba and is taking DC away for 5 days next week.

He's just text to ask if I can pack kids summer clothes to take.

AIBU to tell him to bugger off and buy some himself? The kids won't suffer if I don't pack for them, he will buy them if he has to.

G1veMeStrength Sun 09-Aug-15 14:56:02

YANBU in the slightest!

AliceInUnderpants Sun 09-Aug-15 14:56:23

If he'll buy them, let him. He can take them home with him again afterwards, and wash them.

But if you think the kids would be more comfortable in clothes they 'know', then YABU.

HuftysTrain Sun 09-Aug-15 15:01:05

I sympathise but I wouldn't do that, it's not fair to your DC.

TRexingInAsda Sun 09-Aug-15 15:04:12

YANBU, tell him to pack their clothes himself, and if he doesn't have enough clothes for them for 5 days he'd better get to the shops. What a dipstick, why would you provide the holiday clothes and packing service?!

Dancingqueen17 Sun 09-Aug-15 15:05:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

patterkiller Sun 09-Aug-15 15:15:43

I would probably compromise with telling him they have a few bits that you will pack but he needs to shop for more as their other clothes are too small/grubby/not appropriate.

KissMyFatArse Sun 09-Aug-15 15:20:35

He should have his own supply of clothes for when kids with him, I wouldn't supply holiday clothes that's his responsibility.

ilovelamp82 Sun 09-Aug-15 15:22:03

I would message him saying I can't do it at the moment. Ask me again in September.

TensionWheelsCoolHeels Sun 09-Aug-15 15:31:38

I pre-emptied this from my ex when he took DD (6 at the time) abroad. It started with asking me to take time off to arrange & take DD for inoculations that were needed for the trip. Sent him a detailed list of everything she'd require (clothes/shoes/swimwear/suncreams etc.) & explained he had 6 mths to spread the cost/get organised & I would not be shelling out for the required items as I didn't have the money (true, I couldn't afford a holiday never mind the extras required).

He was pissed off about & did keep all the summer clothes to make a point (the point being DD grew out of them & never wore them outside the holiday) but he did get everything needed & I think the message that he was a parent too & more than capable of preparing in the same I have to, for whatever is needed.

YANBU. At all.

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 09-Aug-15 15:35:09

Maintenance is related to the number of nights he has them as on those nights he is supposed to provide for them, that would include clothes.

holidaysarenice Sun 09-Aug-15 15:53:15

I can't pack or provide clothes, I'm being the school uniforms this month.

Fluffyears Sun 09-Aug-15 15:55:33

You can't afford summer clothes as you need to pay for uniforms. If he wants to take HIS children on holiday ha can pay for HIS children to be suitably attired.

pookamoo Sun 09-Aug-15 15:59:16

I thought non resident parents "were supposed to" provide clothes for the children to wear while with them? (As lonecat says)

CalmYourselfTubbs Sun 09-Aug-15 15:59:50

YANBU. let that fucker sort it out himself.

saoirse31 Sun 09-Aug-15 16:30:40

What do your DC want to do about clothes? I'd go by that.

araiba Sun 09-Aug-15 16:34:22

if you already have suitable clothes for them to take then yabu

PiperChapstick Sun 09-Aug-15 16:35:10

I would message him saying I can't do it at the moment. Ask me again in September.

This

chippednailvarnish Sun 09-Aug-15 16:35:46

"Can't do anything now, possibly end of Sept" would be my response...

chippednailvarnish Sun 09-Aug-15 16:36:04

X posts!

Liquoricetwirl Sun 09-Aug-15 16:36:44

I can see why you would want to do that, but no I think it's unfair on the dc to have to wear whatever last minute tat he provides.
It's a trip the dc will be excited about, swallow your anger and pack their clothes.

rollonthesummer Sun 09-Aug-15 16:37:54

"Can't do anything now, possibly end of Sept" would be my response...

Perfect!

BitchBags Sun 09-Aug-15 16:41:13

Yanbu at all! He should be providing them with appropriate clothes for the holiday.

3littlefrogs Sun 09-Aug-15 16:41:43

"Sorry - they don't have anything that fits and I can't buy any because I have had to buy their school uniform".

CerealEater Sun 09-Aug-15 16:46:19

Surely they have summer clothes anyway so just send those. Pointless buying another set just for a few days, bad for the environment as simply a waste.

If he pays child support and you get the child benefit and possibly tax credits then with your contribution too it should more than cover basic clothing.

Never get why adults play games like these, just send clothes they already have. They won't need much for five days.

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