Advanced search

To think that having no friends at all is weird

(202 Posts)
Happytuesdays99 Sun 09-Aug-15 08:39:22

My FIL has no friends at all. He is almost 70 and for as long as I have known him he has never been out with anyone other than his wife. He goes to the pub on his own and reads a book or paper and as far as i can tell doesnt speak to anyone there either. They are one of these couples that do literally everything together but she does have a number of friends who she goes out with.

I just find it a bit strange that you can get to 70 and have not one friend.

Is it odd or normal?

QueenFuri Sun 09-Aug-15 08:41:58

I've got to 29 and have zero friends.. Its normal for me I've had friends but we have drifted apart, so now I don't bother.

Maybe is is just happy in his own company.

mileend2bermondsey Sun 09-Aug-15 08:43:14

What business is it of yours if he is happy? Keep your beak out. Maybe you should spend more time going out with your friends than pondering stupid judgemental questions.

howtorebuild Sun 09-Aug-15 08:43:32

He sounds happy as he is.

TheWitTank Sun 09-Aug-15 08:43:44

I think it's actually more common than you think. I don't think it's weird. I love my friends, but many people are more than happy with their own company.

Happytuesdays99 Sun 09-Aug-15 08:44:27

Yeah maybe. I have a DH who seems to have more friends than he knows what to do with so used to the other extreme!

BestZebbie Sun 09-Aug-15 08:45:03

He does have one friend - his wife.
I don't think it is the norm to have no other friends but it is certainly not that uncommon, especially in middle aged men ime. Eg: during my childhood my dad had exactly one friend other than my mum, but it was a phase while busy working and now he has retired he has found some others.

Egosumquisum Sun 09-Aug-15 08:47:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChaircatMiaow Sun 09-Aug-15 08:47:47

As queen has said, some people are happy in their own company, or perhaps are lonely but have just learned to get on with things.

What's wrong with sitting in the pub by yourself with a paper? Why do you think it's weird? I think it sounds quite pleasant actually.

I think you need to stop being so judgmental and discover a little compassion or even just mind your own business!

DontOpenDeadInside Sun 09-Aug-15 08:48:02

My dp has no friends. He knos a few people he used to work with, but never goes out with them. He's very much an introvert, and he doesn't seem to mind. Im also an introvert and have 1 good friend and thats it. We prefer it like that!

sandycove Sun 09-Aug-15 08:48:29

No not weird, we're all different. Some people find it hard to make friends, it just doesn't come natural to them, or he just might not feel the need for them. I know loads of men (and women) the same.

queentroutoftroutss Sun 09-Aug-15 08:49:37

It's not weird, friends move away, die, friendships break up there are a variety of reasons why he may not have friends outside of the home and it is really none of your business.

LindyHemming Sun 09-Aug-15 08:52:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NormanLamont Sun 09-Aug-15 08:52:26

You sound a bit mean OP.

WitchofScots Sun 09-Aug-15 08:53:02

I've got to 50+ without having any friends so no, I don't think it's weird I think it's sad. I've never been to a wedding or a baptism except for my own or my DCs, I've never been on holiday with friends, never been to a friends house for dinner and if the shit hits the fan I've got nobody to call. Life is like that sometimes.

Happytuesdays99 Sun 09-Aug-15 08:55:55

Ok. Considered told off. I was only putting it out there. I just worry about him as MIL is not in good health and I can see a time in the not too distant future when he will be on his own.

MoralityPlay Sun 09-Aug-15 09:01:59

I don't find the OPs OP judgemental, she isn't laying into her FIL, she just commentating that she finds it odd that he has no friends and is asking if this is normal. confused

My DH doesn't have any friends. We have moved around the country for work so he is never held on to any childhood friends and he has a very full on job. He doesn't have the time or inclination to make friends.
There is nothing wrong with him, he is kind and fun and he is always well liked by colleagues. He doesn't seek friends.
TBH I find it a bit odd and I'm married to him wink. I do wonder how it will work out when he retires. He wouldn't ever stop me seeing my friends but it would be nice if we could socialise together sometimes.

startagainonmonday Sun 09-Aug-15 09:02:21

I don't have any friends, EA exH saw them all off. Now he's out of the picture I'd love to find a close friend but despite joining socialising events I've had no luck clicking with anyone beyond small talk. I guess I'm just weird hmm

SchwarzwalderKirschtorte Sun 09-Aug-15 09:04:51

Making friends can be difficult.

BastardGoDarkly Sun 09-Aug-15 09:05:38

I don't think you're being mean OP. You're just pondering, it is allowed!

I think in the event of his wife's death, he will be lonely, but sounds to me like he's got enough at the moment to be happy. Is he happy do you think?

I've got a handful of friends, and that's plenty for me, not all of them I've nearby, but in a 2am crisis I do have people I could call, and I'm grateful for that. But I've neither the time nor the energy for a big group of friends smile

itsonlysubterfuge Sun 09-Aug-15 09:06:57

I'm 28 and I do not have any friends. If I had a choice of going out with a bunch of friends or staying home with my husband I would always choose my husband. He is disabled and I am his carer so we literally spend 24/7 together and I would have it no other way. Occasionally he takes our DD to his Mom's house by himself and I am left home by myself, I miss him terribly and after about an hour by myself, I'm wondering when he will be home.

When other people don't feel as close to there DP as I feel to mine, I find it weird. When they can't stand to spend time together, this is strange to me.

maxxytoe Sun 09-Aug-15 09:10:17

I don't have friends other than my sisters, does that count ?

AliceScarlett Sun 09-Aug-15 09:10:40

My dads the same, but then he has never been well (proper narcissist), so I'm not surprised.

NormanLamont Sun 09-Aug-15 09:22:06

I just worry about him as MIL is not in good health and I can see a time in the not too distant future when he will be on his own.

That sounds more caring than asking if someone is 'odd', TBH.

mileend2bermondsey Sun 09-Aug-15 09:27:57

I am left home by myself, I miss him terribly and after about an hour by myself, I'm wondering when he will be home
TBH that sounds a bit unhealthy IMHO

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now