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To murder DH slowly and painfully

(41 Posts)
olafisking Sun 09-Aug-15 06:34:07

He went out last night with a mate. Stumbled in at 1.30, banged into the bed several times and then went into the bathroom and vomited loudly and extensively. After he'd been gone about 10 mins I finally got up to see doing he was, doing, to find he had puked in the sink instead of the toilet and was busy scooping it across. I let him finish then sent him to bed and had to bleach everything including scooping bits he had missed.. Will also have to replace DS toothbrush today.

He then snored all night and was elbowing my head etc. At one point I couldn't rouse him to move him which was scary. DS has now woken up at 6am so I'm sat here knackered and fuming. DH was out all day yesterday at an event before the drinking and the agreement was that he'd do a substantial amount of the childcare in repayment. Except he won't be fit, will he? I really just want to go back to bed but if I wake him earlier than 10 will be miserable grumpy..

So can I kill him?? He's thirty fucking six,, he should be capable of having a drink without obtaining alcohol poisoning. Arsehole.

MistletoeBUTNOwine Sun 09-Aug-15 06:37:13

I can well understand that you're pissed off.
I'd leave him to sleep til 10 or whenever, then go and have an afternoon nap/ lie down with a book grin

CheesyWater Sun 09-Aug-15 06:39:13

I'd be livid. What a knob.

Take yourself and DS out somewhere lovely for the day if you can. Even if it's just to the park with a picnic or to the beach or something. You'll have a great time, DS will be entertiained by being outdoors and your DH will have to sit at home with a stinking hangover. He can repay you by giving you a day off in the future.

travellinglighter Sun 09-Aug-15 06:48:36

I’d put some Deth metal on very loud, cook some curry so it stinks the house out and hide the pain killers. He’ll commit suicide and save you 20 years in prison.

Me, I went to a rugby match a couple of years ago and had to be walked to the station to catch a train home. Very embarrassed and now if I go I don’t drink until it becomes socially weird not to, walk away from alcohol if we change venue instead of gulping it down, stay away from the high strength beers as much as possible and go home when I feel a bit worse for wear.

Doesn’t always work as I had a few drinks after work a couple of weeks ago and broke my own rules and I was a lot bit more squiffy than i’d planned. I didn’t have any child care duties or annoy anyone though.

The bad news is, I was 45 before I wised up.

Pepperonipeteczar Sun 09-Aug-15 06:49:09

I would wake him up the selfish bast

MrsKoala Sun 09-Aug-15 06:54:24

If it's a one off i wouldn't be bothered really. There'd be a few raised eyebrows and 'so how do YOU feel today then?' smirking comments. Also i would say he owed me a whole weekend now - i wouldn't want him looking after dc in a hungover state or waste a day child free fuming, so would rather put the day in the bank. But other than that it really wouldn't bother me. (ONLY IF IT'S A ONE OFF - if op comes back and drip feeds that he does this 4 times a week, then i retract my previous statement and give her permission to kill him).

olafisking Sun 09-Aug-15 07:01:38

He doesn't go out that often - probably about 4 times a year rather than a week! It's just that when he drinks with his mates who are mainly younger and have a higher tolerance for alcohol, he doesn't seem to be able to moderate his drinking AT ALL - drinking from 7 till 12 would be fine if he'd intersperse the odd soft drink.. I know personally my tolerance for alcohol is really low since having DS so I have a couple of glasses of wine with a coke in middle. As much for myself!!

I'll take on the childcare today, I feel a bit better now I've had a cuppa, but it's really fucking annoying confused. I always thought I'd be on morning duty but figured by lunch time he'd be fit. I just know his face is going to annoy me when he finally emerges!

ratsintheattic Sun 09-Aug-15 07:10:41

As it's a rare occurrence I would let him off, as DH lets me off on the odd occasion when I need to sleep off a hangover.

MrsKoala Sun 09-Aug-15 07:29:44

I think as it's that rare - then i really would just shrug it off (unless i had something important planned today). I know it's hard when you are tired op, but i really think you are overreacting. Personally i see nothing wrong with getting pissed once in a while. Sometimes you just don't want to moderate your drinking, you are enjoying it and as long as no one gets argy bargy i don't see any problem.

Ive never puked tho, but i do remember dh vomming so violently on our wedding night he burst the blood vessels in his eyes shock . It just didn't bother me. I had never seen him like that before so i figured as it's rare it's fine - and i had to look after the 3mo the next day wandering around London (our 1 day honeymoon with a baby in tow - woohoo!) with DH looking and feeling like hell grin

I hope you get less annoyed OP and can enjoy your day. It really isn't that bad.

pixieg1rl Sun 09-Aug-15 07:43:38

My DP did something similar last year. I was up half the night dealing with his puking then had the child the next day while he slept it off. The only revenge really was that he felt like shit for days afterwards and hasn't repeated it since. I was absolutely fuming with him and you have every reason to feel angry with your husband over this. His actions are selfish and irresponsible.

I would just concentrate on today for now, get out of the house with the kids so you don't have to see him stinking and hungover and deal with your feelings about this tomorrow. Be really honest about angry and disappointed you are, and how selfish his actions are.

MillieMoodle Sun 09-Aug-15 07:53:15

Agree with pp, I'd look after the DC today and keep your 'day off' for when you're not as pissed off. If it's a one off I'd let it go once suitable piss-taking about him being a lightweight has finished. If it's a regular thing, I wouldn't put up with it.

My DH goes out very rarely but when he does, it's never pretty. I think we've had 3 or 4 'incidents' (as I call them) in 10 years. The last time he went out with the 'lads', he vomited repeatedly in the bathroom, slept on the bathroom floor, and complained his wrist hurt all weekend. I eventually made him go to A&E after a weekend of moaning and he'd fractured his wrist. Which led to 12 weeks in plaster, him not being able to drive or help with DS. He was very sheepish for a long time. That was 2 years ago and he's not been out out since!

Hope you feel a bit better OP.

FurtherSupport Sun 09-Aug-15 07:55:54

If it's a rare event and you (and he) knew he would come home in this condition, it was a bit daft to think he was going to be doing the childcare today.

I'd leave him in bed and take the Dc out for the day. Won't do you any good to stay home being annoyed all day and once he's slept it off, he'll really owe you and can make it up to you properly next weekend.

I would have made him clean the bathroom though!

5YearsTime Sun 09-Aug-15 07:59:07

This hasn't happened in our house since baby arrived but we've both been on benders and cleaned the other side person up. I generally find it makes for funny stories further down the line. If you have it in you then be nice because you know his hangover will be hurting him anyway and hopefully you'll be repaid in kind at some point.

swimmerforlife Sun 09-Aug-15 08:02:26

If it's rare, I would make a few smug comments and get him do the majority of the childcare next weekend so you can go on a girls night out or whatever and let him off the hook.

Hope you have a nice day today OP.

timeforabrewnow Sun 09-Aug-15 08:04:27

I hardly think the OP is 'a bit daft' for being utterly pissed off with her immature DH. Perhaps it could be construed that he was 'a bit daft' for drinking too much and then puking in the sink instead of the toilet.

<unrelated - but my DH does the puking in the sink thing while running the taps even while sober - what the hell is that all about? Just go for the toilet!>

StealthPolarBear Sun 09-Aug-15 08:08:35

So he does this about 4 times a year? Sorry but once you pas the age of about 23 I think even that's far too often.
It's one thing getting caught out and realising as you vomit that those cocktails were stronger than you thought. 4 times a year is someone who chooses to drink till they vomit.

FurtherSupport Sun 09-Aug-15 08:11:09

If being mature means not messing up, ever, then I'll take immature thanks and TBH, I'd rather be married to an immature DH than one who never does anything stupid.

They both knew the likely outcome of his night out, so it wasn't realistic of either of them to think he'd be doing the childcare today. Not the end of the world though.

whatyouseeiswhatyouget Sun 09-Aug-15 08:15:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKoala Sun 09-Aug-15 08:15:56

Personally (i know on MN it's really frowned upon tho) i don't see anything wrong with choosing to drink till you vomit Stealth. Obviously not too often - and i do think 4 times a year is pushing it on regularity - but about once every 1-2 years would be fine with me. I know people who enjoy doing shots (bleaurch) and just know they are going to puke and feel like shit, but they think it's worth that as they like it so much at the time. Their body and one day off a year to feel like crap is hardly putting your partner out that much.

Thetruthshallmakeyefret Sun 09-Aug-15 08:19:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear Sun 09-Aug-15 08:21:27

Koala I do agree there's an anti alcohol theme on mn. I enjoy drinking to get drunk and it is frowned upon. I'd like to point out I don't do this regularly - maybe once every couple of months at most. But to me there's quite a distance between drunk and will feel a bit rough the next day and vomiting. Vomiting indicates fairly serious alcohol poisoning, I thought.

ilovelamp82 Sun 09-Aug-15 08:21:38

If it's a rare occurence I wouldn't mind. He obviously had fun and is being punished by being ill. I would let him be hungover today and not be too harsh on him and then make plans for yourself next week giving him plenty of warning that next weekend is his time. No point spending the whole day being annoyed and angry it's not going to solve anything except make you all have a shit day. Just enjoy your day with your dc and plan something lovely for yourself next weekend.

MrsDeVere Sun 09-Aug-15 08:34:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dowser Sun 09-Aug-15 08:40:24

I was quite astonished last year when OH consumed two bottles of red wine and spent two hours talking to the big white telephone.

I didn't go to bed till he finished his conversation which was about 2 am as the silly sod was 61 and I didn't want anything happening to him.

He was fine the next day and we hadno children to take care of.

MrsKoala Sun 09-Aug-15 08:42:13

For me Stealth, if i vomited, it would mean a LOT of alcohol - in fact i have only yogged once thru booze and i can drink a fuckton, so i defo over did it then. But also certain types of booze make people puke, spirits would me, even if i only had one or 2, whereas i could probably drink 4 bottles of wine without vomming (i'd be very drunk, but i wouldn't puke).

I know someone who enjoys wine, but even after a couple of glasses throws up, whereas lager doesn't have the same effect.

As for vomming in the sink. I recently had to when i had noro, as i had to be sitting on the toilet at the same time - after dc my pelvic floor is not what it used to be! blush

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