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To be upset about this?

(26 Posts)
Pucaet Sat 08-Aug-15 09:57:41

I don't drive so my boyfriend drove me and our toddler to tesco to get some shopping, went to pay for it at the self service till (they had one of the big ones you can easily fit a big shop on)
The man working the self service area (he looked like a supervisor or something he was wearing a blazer) stood behind us and watched me scan every single item, blatently staring and clearly thinking we were theives. It was so obvious and made me feel really i comfortable. There were other people using other check outs and he didn't even look at them, just stood about half a Meyer behind us the entire time. He kept pointing things put and asking if I was going to scan them (yes ffs I'm just putting them in order in the bags!l put sandwhiches on the basket rest to do last, because we were going to eat them and whilst still scanning the rest of my stuff he just kept going "you need to scan those" "I hope you're going to scan that"

We are youngosh, probably look younger than we are and toddler DS was dressed in a tracksuit (we were all ill!) Which I'm guessing is why he decided we are obviously massive thriving chavs but I felt like crying! I was just doing some fucking shopping with my toddler and random people assume I'm a theif.
I know its his job but he could have just looked a bit, from a bit more of a distance, not make it so obvious when I had not done anything at all to make him think I'd steal. It was so embatassing and uncomfortable and he looked so smug as if he thought he knew we were going to steal and he was oh so clever in sussing us scummy theives and stopping us.
Massive urge to tell him to piss off bit just smiled and carried on with my shopping because I'm not a dick.

happymummyone Sat 08-Aug-15 09:59:40

It's not nice to feel judged.

LIZS Sat 08-Aug-15 10:00:48

I would imagine they do random observations as the opportunity for a mistake or theft is higher.

QuiteLikely5 Sat 08-Aug-15 10:01:14

I may well have told him I found his approach uncomfortable. Unfortunately people do judge, especially on appearances.

Next time be prepared and have a response ready to tackle this sort of behaviour.

Pucaet Sat 08-Aug-15 10:05:48

LIZS you can do a random observation without being rude though, or maybe standing a tiny bit further back. It was really obvious he thought we were intending to steal, I can't explain exactly but it was just obvious from how he was acting.

pictish Sat 08-Aug-15 10:10:50

Sorry you had to go through this. He was a complete idiot to treat you that way and I'm not surprised you felt stressed and humiliated.

His approach and behaviour was heavy handed at best and I think that once you have calmed down, you ought to seek out the store manager and fill him in on your experience with the member of staff in question.
If nothing else, you maybe able to prevent someone else being subjected to this clumsy, rude fool's scrutiny.

ApocalypseThen Sat 08-Aug-15 10:13:49

I think I would have left the shop and taken my business elsewhere. Disgraceful behaviour from him.

jerryfudd Sat 08-Aug-15 10:15:53

I'd have probably told him his behaviour was out of order and walked leaving all the shopping there for them to put back and taken my custom to asda

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sat 08-Aug-15 10:42:35

I would have been upset/angry too and would have told him to feel free to scan the shopping for me if he didn't feel I was capable of doing so. Then called him a jobs worth. Or a cunt.

honeysucklejasmine Sat 08-Aug-15 10:46:27

I think I would try to go back and complain. It's possible to observe discretely, but he didn't, he embarrassed you and made you uncomfortable. Not on.

nonameatall01 Sat 08-Aug-15 10:50:09

The member of staff wasn't just observing though - he was issuing pointless instructions - "you need to scan these" etc. I agree with pictish. When you feel better, give feedback.

I can remember when I was scanning at M & S years ago, when self scanning tills had just been introduced, I needed help several times from a young male assistant. The third time as he walked away he muttered "so stupid" under his breath. I felt awful, flustered, and bothered. I told him I had heard what he had said. Went home, phoned the branch, was able to give the young man's name and as a result of my complaint he got an official warning and sent on a customer service awareness course.

Also recently complained on behalf of an elderly man when the assistant in the co-op told him he needed to hurry up.

I always treat shops assistants with respect and politeness but expect the same in return,

TenForward82 Sat 08-Aug-15 10:51:20

That's outrageous. Similar to (but worse than) store security obviously following you around (which has happened to me before). I would complain and ask them to review the CCTV. His behaviour is NOT acceptable.

You did really well to stay calm - I'd have lost it and made myself look an idiot!

Totality22 Sat 08-Aug-15 10:53:36

I would have asked him to help pack!!

Goshthatsspicy Sat 08-Aug-15 10:55:36

My husband used to get this all the time.
We solved the problem, by him going up to the guard and asking a question. Obviously he had to do this many times, it was our local supermarket. We didn't discover why, the only thing we thought might explain it was my husband's long hair confused
Sorry you felt uncomfortable. Customers should always be made to feel happy!

Icimoi Sat 08-Aug-15 10:55:40

It was totally idiotic of him to keep asking whether you were going to scan things when you were blatantly busy scanning other items. The ironic thing is that genuine thieves don't go to the supermarket dressed in a stereotypical way: whilst this man was concentrating on you all the other supposedly respectable people at the self-scanners could well have been having a field day dropping things into their baskets without scanning them. I do agree you should complain to the manager.

Goshthatsspicy Sat 08-Aug-15 10:57:01

non you wouldn't have thought in that situation, an employee would get the sack!

Icimoi Sat 08-Aug-15 10:58:05

This reminds me of an Asian friend of mine who found herself being followed round a shop by the store detective. She was so pissed off by it that when she saw someone stealing something she kept quiet till they'd left the store, then pointed out to the detective that if he hadn't been so busy with his racial stereotyping he could have actually done his job and stopped the thief.

UrethraFranklin1 Sat 08-Aug-15 11:06:39

You can read minds? That must be a handy thing to have.

Goshthatsspicy Sat 08-Aug-15 11:15:12

I have read your post again op
"massive theiving chavs"
Not sitting well with me. Nobody deserves to be scrutinised,and that wasn't a kind way with words.
Tracksuit doesn't equal thief.

tbtc Sat 08-Aug-15 11:15:26

icimoi why did your friend think there was racial motivation?

Pucaet Sat 08-Aug-15 12:57:17

Gosh- I wasnt calling anyone a chav, I never would csll anyone that either, but it felt like that's what he was thinking sort of thing. I know tracksuit doesn't equal theif, I'm probably quite 'chavvy' seeming myself to other people

Goshthatsspicy Sat 08-Aug-15 13:02:46

Okay - l apologise. smile

Goshthatsspicy Sat 08-Aug-15 13:03:41

I doubt you are "chavvy" anyway. I don't think anyone is.

eurochick Sat 08-Aug-15 13:15:32

The security guard follows me around Banana Republic every time I go in there. I buy quite a lot in there but I am going to stop going in! I'm nearly 40 and usually pop in during my lunchtime so I'm fairly smartly dressed (I'm a lawyer). It's not a pleasant feeling.

Humansatnav Sat 08-Aug-15 13:26:12

I'd complain op. Pre dc ( 20 odd years ago ) I had a wedding to go to . I spent my day off trying on outfits and found a lovely one in Principles, and another one in River Island. After sleeping on it I decided to get the one from Principles ( was ,£100 ish).
Went in my lunch hour the next day to get it. Job at time involved mechanics ( specialised) so was in work coat , with hair up and no makeup.
Picked up dress& jacket & snooty assistant pounced on me and says " I think you'd find a better choice in your price range in another shop" Mortified.
Proud of myself that I had the wits about me to say , " Yes, it's a bit cheap in here, I'll go to Debenhams instead" before I left.

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