Did I even spell guarantor right? :-)
I hired a cleaner through an agency for almost a year. Nice girl. Not a brilliant cleaner but I felt kind of sorry for her. Her life was a shambles and often she would burst into tears about her love life and we'd talk over a cup of tea. Part of me felt stressed by her arrival on a Wednesday because I wanted her to just crack on with the cleaning. Often she wouldn't finish because we'd spent too much time talking. My fault. I should have nipped it in the bud. But you know, there's a lady in floods of tears while Viakal works its magic on the sink. I became a source of support.
So she left a month ago to move to another city with a fellow she'd fallen in love with. She gave notice, cried boatloads of tears, I gave her final pay plus a bonus and said farewell.
I recently got a message saying she'd left the fellow, come back to London and needed someplace to live very short term (it would have been about 2 weeks). I declined. I have a full house and my husband looked at me like I was mad. Even I thought I was mad to consider. But guilt overcame me. Anyway, she did not stay with us.
Two days ago, she informed me that she now has a place. Great. But she asked if I could be her guarantor. I swiftly declined. But I feel very guilty, mainly because I know how hard starting over again is. But still, I thought this was a big ask. She sent a lovely message telling me that's ok, she understands, but if I need a cleaner, she is available.
Now I feel awful because I definitely want some distance from this woman, but I don't want to be a complete jerk.
The thing is, I feel so guilty!! I should have been more helpful. The message I gave this lady is that I am helpful and kind. But in practice, I have proven not to be and I feel awful about this.
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AIBU?
AIBU to feel so guilty about not being a guarantor?
40 replies
horsewalksintoabar · 08/08/2015 08:58
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