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To feel upset even after months after a fall out

(19 Posts)
mrsbucketxx Fri 07-Aug-15 16:58:33

It's been a while since I've posted but I have been busy busy.

About a year ago I made friends with a group of women through a Facebook group who I thought would be loyal friends it turns out they where snide nasty. They banned me from the group and blocked me for having differing political and religious views.

The thing is this was months ago and I just can't seem to move on every time I think about them my stomach is in knots

Aibu not getting over this or will it be better eventually

CrapBag Fri 07-Aug-15 17:04:27

YANBU. It's hard to deal with stuff like this.

I'm terrible for dwelling on things and having them going round and round my head all the time. In fact I have a similar thing although they haven't been outright nasty (well one has and refuses to admit any wrongdoing) and the others seem to all agree with her as I haven't heard from them at all but they are all still seeing each other.

Part of me thinks 'fuck you I don't want or need people like you in my life' and the other part keeps thinking of all the things I'd like to say or wish they would say etc. I can't ever seem to draw a line under things and move on, which is ultimately what you need to do. It is easier said than done though.

Fishwives Fri 07-Aug-15 17:10:47

OP, I'm sorry you're still so hurt, but the time scale for all this does seem very short. If you only first got to know them via FB a year ago, and its already at least several months since the falling out, then you can't have known them for anywhere near long enough for them to be 'loyal friends', surely? I moved to the village I live in almost three years ago, and the people I've seen most of here are still definitely 'acquaintances' or 'new friends'.

It sounds like a hurtful thing, but we're you expecting loyalty in a situation that really didn't warrant it?

mrsbucketxx Fri 07-Aug-15 17:12:08

What's worse is the fb group involved is advertised as all inclusive and it's massive locally. The close group all turned their backs on me because the ring leader told them to block me etc.

I suppose I just need to get my big girl pants on and deal with it

mrsbucketxx Fri 07-Aug-15 17:13:55

I always give my all to everyone straight away the woman who hurt me most I put myself put for her on lots of occasions and always got nothing in return.

Maybe I should be more guarded in future.

UrethraFranklin1 Fri 07-Aug-15 17:47:14

I always give my all to everyone straight away

Don't do that. Its weird.
These are people you knew for about 5 minutes several months ago, its normal to be so bothered. Are you always this intense? Do you have a lot of difficulties in your relationships with others?

Lovewearingjeans Fri 07-Aug-15 17:50:47

I think it depends on your political and religious views. I don't know yours, but there are people I refuse to hang around with because I find them racist and bigoted.

UrethraFranklin1 Fri 07-Aug-15 17:57:46

Its not normal, that should read.

FarFromAnyRoad Fri 07-Aug-15 18:00:21

I kind of agree with Urethra - you do sound a little intense and full on - and really I do believe that political and religious views should be aired only amongst close friends or people who think like you do. Possibly you might need to calm down a little and just try to find your way in a group before the full-on stuff.

mrsbucketxx Fri 07-Aug-15 18:57:31

It came to a head because I refused to meet in church on a regular basis. (I'm an atheist) and I voted conservative. What I mean by "my all" is if they asked for help I would. I.e I helped the head of this group move house after being friendly for 6 months or so.

I'm not intense I'm really not. I have my own life too. I've never come across this behaviour before from women, I have lots of friends from where I used to live, who talk on the phone but its not the same.

mrsbucketxx Fri 07-Aug-15 18:58:54

I'm not rasist or a bigot either.

TopCivilServant Fri 07-Aug-15 19:04:40

If you're an atheist what's the problem with going into a church? Surely it's just another building? Objecting to that does male it sound like you were being a bit hard work.
Maybe talk to someone from the group, see if you can get some resolution or work out where things went wrong?

TopCivilServant Fri 07-Aug-15 19:05:09

Make, not male!

Pumpkinpositive Fri 07-Aug-15 19:13:00

Why would you refuse to meet in a church?

I'm hedging my bets agnostic but would have no issue with booking a room for meetings in a church. I imagine the rates, if any, are reasonable.

Do you also take issue with attending church held weddings, funerals, etc? confused

AuntyMag10 Fri 07-Aug-15 19:16:13

Agree with Urethra as well.

And why would a church be a problem anyway. It doesn't sound like you were the right fit for the group anyway.

WickedWax Fri 07-Aug-15 19:17:30

You again? I remember you posted a billion threads at the time which all got deleted, nice to see you back again grin

CrapBag Fri 07-Aug-15 19:25:35

Why did they get deleted? Doesn't seem anything particularly goady. Unless the OP is very vocal about her conservative voting atheism.

Tbh, if you are just meeting up with people, why would you meet in a church anyway? Surely you only go to church for a service of some sort?

mrsbucketxx Fri 07-Aug-15 20:01:33

Wicked not been on mn for well over a year, not quiet sure what your on about.

mrsbucketxx Fri 07-Aug-15 20:05:23

The church thing would have been held by the church on the proviso we would hand out leaflets. The building would be a doddle. The voting thing came out during the election. I don't think it can be smoothed over I just want to be able to move on.

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