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To tell old friend not to come to our home this time?

(7 Posts)
SummerOfLadybirds Fri 07-Aug-15 15:13:04

We've known her 15 years. Used to get on well but gradually drifted apart. I feel she and her DH have become increasingly self-centred over the years. They stayed with us for a week in spring (they invited themselves)... it was awful. I was ill at the time, but I felt all they wanted to do was be waited on, talk about themselves and get drunk. Every night they stayed up until 3am with DH, drinking and talking loudly and having heated discussions, so I couldn't sleep. Neither lifted a finger around the house. They didn't send a thank you text/email after the visit and didn't bother to find out how I was. Friend only contacted us again when she wanted to visit again!

She asked if she could stay for a few days as she's in the area. I said it's not convenient as I'm heavily pregnant (and have severe SPD). So she said she'd come round for an evening instead. Thing is I don't want her coming round at all right now... I don't want the stress of having her in the house, nor do I want to clean and tidy and cook. Also she's likely to stay very late, and I'm too tired to stay up late entertaining. Baby's due soon and I want peace and quiet at home.
WIBU to tell her we'll meet her in a restaurant instead? That way we could meet her for a couple of hours rather than a whole evening. I feel mean, but the thought of her coming to our home is stressing me out after her last visit!

MangoBiscuit Fri 07-Aug-15 15:15:10

Of course YANBU. Either meet up out, or don't see her at all. And don't you dare pay for their share of the bill! smile

chairmeoh Fri 07-Aug-15 15:15:37

Just say that you're really not up to entertaining right now, let's meet in restaurant.
Don't let her push you into agreeing to something you don't want to do.

cashewnutty Fri 07-Aug-15 15:17:06

She sounds hard work and i can totally understand why you don't want her to come to your house. Tell her that you would like the chance to go out for a meal before the baby is born as you might not get the chance again for a while? This is true so not even made up! Then you get to decide how long you stay out.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 07-Aug-15 15:17:25

If having her round is causing you stress then, of course, tell her you'd prefer to meet her in a restaurant and stay firm.

If she's likely to press you for a visit at your house instead be prepared to say insist you'd prefer a few hours out of the house.

Itsmine Fri 07-Aug-15 15:20:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Salmotrutta Fri 07-Aug-15 15:26:44

Absolutely go the route of "I'd like to grab the chance go out before the baby arrives".
She can't argue with that logic smile
She sounds like a right selfish madam.

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