to be worried sick about blanket over baby

[mikado1]

I am probably getting myself into a state but in utter desperation last night I took my one week old into bed to feed last night and fell asleep -may have been for a minute or ten-I woke up and part of duvet was over baby-I could still see his head but it was still over him but kind of in the air. I immediately removed it, lifted him and he was breathing steadily-I almost put my ear in his mouth.

Is there any way this could have harmed him? I mentioned it to HV this morning and she just said be prepared if Co sleeping which I know of course I should have been. I know IABU for allowing this to happen and I feel sick but could I have harmed him in anyway?

[Welshmaenad]

No, it won't have harmed him.

You sound terribly anxious. Is this your first baby? Those first few weeks are so exhausting and terrifying and you find whole new levels of things to stress over, that's normal, but you do sound very anxious. How are you feeling and coping after the birth?

[queentroutoftroutss]

I wouldn't suggest co sleeping if you are this anxious, he sounds fine.

[CitrineRaindropPhoenix]

I don't see any way in which there would be a delayed harm, particularly given that it was absolutely fine at the time so please don't worry. I remember what it was like, when you were so tired and felt so guilty afterwards. If it helps, that happened with both of my children and I remember the panic.

You poor thing though, you sound exhausted. Can anyone look after the baby for you while you have a nap or a bath (preferably both)?

[gamerchick]

He's ok try to put it out of your mind.

Just do it safely if you want to co sleep. I used to make a bed on the bed for mine with own sheet and blanket. Use a single quilt if you're worried you might share by accident.

[lornathewizzard]

You have not done any harm to your baby. I believe the risk with covers is a)temperature, as being too hot leads to increased SIDs risk, and b) the cover going over their faces and causing breathing difficulties. Now, without putting too fine a point on it, if either of these things were a problem, you would have known about it then.
The first few weeks are difficult. Hope you are coping ok.

[mikado1]

Thanks all, I really appreciate the reassurance. He is my second but I am a worrier, usually about hypothetical situations rather than reality (I am actually quite good jn a crisis! !)
I had a light cellular ready to put overhim he was on sheet but I couldnt tuck duvet right under me while feeding and obviously fell asleep before settling us properly. I am worried that maybe I cut off his oxygen. . He is ultra calm today. I have got good support here, dh doing everything but feeding really but I am obviously the one doing the night.

[BarbarianMum]

You did not cut off his oxygen. He's fine, I promise. Stop worrying (for now anyway) and go and enjoy him [ smile]

[Welshmaenad]

Is he big enough for a gro-bag? I coslept with ds and tucked the duvet in tightly at under-boob level and laid him on top next to me in his gro-bag.

[bonzo77]

Can you get yourself a sleeping bag to sleep in: no risk of it going over the baby's head. You can get a spare one for when it needs washing or cotton liners to keep it cleaner.

[mikado1]

No not yet. Tbh I do think I am too much of a fretter to cosleep but I must have tried to put him down te times between 10.30 and 1.30 last night and he was having none of it.

[FelineLou]

Not quite the same but i had a cavalier spaniel that slept all night under my duvet near my feet. never suffocated and no special air vents or anything.
all my babies came into bed to feed and i sometimes slept. A tight fit on the face could be a worry but nothing happened. We all make mistakes; you are warned about the worst that could happen,mostly it doesn't.

[Christelle2207]

He's fine. I co-sleep and I think it takes a while to get used to it without being scared. But worthwhile as we both sleep that much better. Remember co-sleeping is what happens in most of the rest of the world : cots are a very recent, western invention.

[Ilovecrapcrafts]

Just be aware a 1 week old is likely to be too small for a sleeping bag. You need to ensure their heads are too big for them to slip down it.

OP I really feel for you, those sleep deprived early days when they seem so breakable- you haven't harmed the baby, try to relax and enjoy today.

[LaLaLaaaa]

Awwww I totally understand how you're feeling - my baby is 10 days old and I'm terrified of doing anything that might harm him. You won't have hurt him, don't worry. It's a reminder though of why letting baby sleep in your bed can be risky.

But when you're as tired as you are then of course you're finding ways to cope. I had mine in my bed this morning for a cuddle.

[Totality22]

Don't Co sleep with a duvet.

I still won't have a duvet in the bed and baby is 6 months now.

She has separate blankets and I sleep with blankets made of 'holey' material. It alleviates the worry of smothering baby!!

Agree that Co sleeping may not be the way forward for you. No shame in that, I'd didn't feel comfortable with it with first baby.

[TryToBePositive]

I co sleep with my baby, I put her so her belly is in line with my face so then even if I pull the covers over my shoulder they only cover her legs

[MintJulip]

Op if you want to co sleep can I recommend a co sleeping cot, then no matter how sleepy you are you can shift him a teeny bit into his own space where he is safe? I had one for second baby and it was the best thing I ever spent my ££ on child related because it meant once baby in her own part, I could relax and sleep properly without that awful anxeity.

This experience happened to you - you know how easily it can happen, simply avoid it in future and dont worry, we drop babies, accidentally have a cover over them, accidental feed them the wrong thing, please dont worry - too much, worry is now though a part and parcel of life!

[LadyDeirdreWaggon]

JoJo Maman Bebe do newborn sleeping bags. You could also look at a Sleepyhead bednest which can also go in a cot when you're not co-sleeping

[Iggi999]

When I coslept with a baby (we had a bedside cot but he wanted to be closer than that!) I always slept in a sleeping bag, keeping it around my waist.

[DayLillie]

I always fed my babies in bed with me. I had an arrangement of my pillow, with a v-shaped pillow on top and small of back height, and two more pillows on top that supported me so that neither me nor the baby would fall out of bed if I fell asleep. DS1 slept in a crib next to me. DTDs slept in a single cot - had to get out for this.

I regularly fell asleep whist feeding the twins. In fact I used to wake up in a panic wondering where I had dropped one, only to find her in her cot

Just set up everything so you feel safe, and assume you are going to fall asleep sometimes

[Ilovecrapcrafts]

The jojo madam baby elephant sleeping bags for newborns are gorgeous!

[Givemecoffeeplease]

Bless you. Co-sleeping can be a godsend and sounds like you need the kip - a tired mum boiling a kettle /driving etc is bloody dangerous too. Just follow guidelines and you will be fine.

[editthis]

Another idea is to put the baby in a sleeping bag, on top of the duvet, for feeding. Then if you fall asleep, it'll be fine. That's what I did with mine. It's terrifying, having children. But it gets easier!

[PosyHasBalletShoes]

Sorry, I usually read the whole thread, but you sounded so panicked. slaps own hand