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To feel slightly smug when smug couples break up?

(8 Posts)
neverdoingthatagain Fri 07-Aug-15 03:26:24

I know I am BU as I went through a horrendous divorce and wouldn't wish it on anyone. But now as I'm unsuccessfully dating, and hearing about celebrity couples splitting, I don't feel so alone and loserish.

It doesn't help that everyone I know personally and work with are happily coupled up.

I'm just so over it and lonely and feel like what is wrong with me ALL the time.

Sigh, in a bad place.

DesertIslander Fri 07-Aug-15 06:45:55

brew

YABU but I feel the same sometimes

siblingrevelryagain Fri 07-Aug-15 06:51:56

I'm there with you. It's shit but getting less so (with the odd set back just to stop me getting too cocky!).

I think seeing celebrity couples split gives us some small reassurance, so I don't think you're being smug-they're rich, good looking and talented and yet it still happened to them, so in some small way it makes us feel better about our 'failings'.

When I want to blame myself for my husband cheating (not often, but physical insecurity does come into it), I remind myself that people like Cheryl cole/Jennifer Anniston etc get cheated on so it's not necessarily because I had three kids and things are no longer where they should be!

You'll be ok OP, as will I. It just might not feel like it at the moment (so let's try and fake it 'til we make it)

FluffyCubs Fri 07-Aug-15 06:55:57

What does smug even mean? Maybe when people are seen as smug, they're just grateful and happy to have a solid relationship.... I'd hate to think anybody I knew would be pleased if me and my husband split up....we have been called smug before and it really hurt.

FluffyCubs Fri 07-Aug-15 06:58:36

Comfort from being in company of others in the same place does help. I was devastated when I split up with a boyfriend ten years ago....thought it was the end of my future dreams.....I felt relieved that I wasn't the only one when friends relationships went the same way

Flashbangandgone Fri 07-Aug-15 07:05:33

YABU but being reasonable is over-rated sometimes!

Allstoppedup Fri 07-Aug-15 08:21:06

I can totally understand but I think YABU.

My OH and I get called smug/sickening etc loads by people but we honestly don't do anything to perpetuate this label (we aren't all over each other with PDA or post soppy FB statuses or anything) We just enjoy each other's company and obviously it shows! grin I can't say I put too much thought into being actively smug! grin

It would make me upset to think of anyone revelling in the end of our relationship if we were to split for any reason (for the record, I don't think your OP reads as revelling at all- rather that you just feel better about your own situation which I think is natural smile!)

I generally feel sad whenever I see a relationship breakdown - mainly for what could have been but if a break up has occurred it usually means that the happy outside view probably wasn't representative of the actual relationship.

trollkonor Fri 07-Aug-15 10:08:12

Is this about the Kermit and Miss Piggy story? ☺

Maybe it's because when you hear about a break up it reinforces that there is nothing uniquely wrong with you. I'm using your phrase there, I dont think there's anything wrong with you. I have no advise but look after yourself.

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