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My cleaner refuses to call me by my name!

(40 Posts)
cavkc Thu 06-Aug-15 20:05:43

I'm finding this a little odd but would appreciate the thoughts of others.

I employed a new cleaner a couple of weeks ago and whilst she is good at what she does, she insists on calling me Madam. I've asked her to call me by my name but she just won't .. Apparently she prefers the distinction between her working life and home life.

My husband was around today and she called him Sir even though I introduced him by his name (I have a sneaky feeling he rather enjoyed that lol)

It just makes me feel really uncomfortable in my own home but not sure what I can do apart from telling her it's not working out.

She also gave me a typed list of jobs she won't do, including toilets, cooker, inside of kitchen units etc etc (she didn't mention this when I interviewed her)

Should I stick with her a bit longer or not?


SweetPeaPods Thu 06-Aug-15 20:07:03

Surely they are the jobs you would want her to do?!

FenellaFellorick Thu 06-Aug-15 20:08:51

I wouldn't care about her not wanting to use my name, it's probably easier for her if she has a lot of clients, she doesn't have to bother remembering names. Plus it discourages time wasted chatting I suppose. I wouldn't be wanting to develop a friendship so it wouldn't bother me.

Regarding her cleaning - are you happy with her work and what she will do? If yes, then keep her, if no, then replace her.

luckiestgirlintheworld Thu 06-Aug-15 20:08:55

She won't clean the toilets? Very odd.

TheHouseOnBellSt Thu 06-Aug-15 20:09:34

Well no, Sweet those jobs are deep cleaning jobs....most cleaners do day to day things such as vacuuming and dusting.

MsVestibule Thu 06-Aug-15 20:10:59

She's a cleaner but won't clean toilets grin. I'd be replacing her based on that alone.

Marmitelover55 Thu 06-Aug-15 20:11:10

But surely toilets is day to day - I wouldn't expect the other jobs though

OTheHugeManatee Thu 06-Aug-15 20:11:52

So she calls you Madam and refuses to clean most of the things a cleaner is hired to clean. It sounds like what she's after is not so much a job as Downton Abbey cosplay.

pigsDOfly Thu 06-Aug-15 20:12:56

Well if she won't clean the loo or cooker or do similar jobs what does she think you want a cleaner for?

Obviously she feels that by addressing you by some out dated title she's making up for the fact that you're paying her cleaner's wages for a little light dusting.

I tell her it's not working for you and get myself a proper cleaner.

cavkc Thu 06-Aug-15 20:13:48

Not sure if that's a joke that most cleaner only do dusting and vacuuming.

I've employed a cleaner for over 20 years and never had one who had issues with what they would or wouldn't clean.

It's more the name thing, I don't know why but it really makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home ... I've always called my boss by whatever name they asked me to (and some other behind their backs!)

gamerchick Thu 06-Aug-15 20:16:04

Toilets are not a deep cleaning job.

Find one that fills your requirements and outline it at the interview.

eyebags63 Thu 06-Aug-15 20:17:13

TBH I would be more pissed off that she will not clean the toilet, oven, kitchen units, etc..... what is the point of a cleaner that doesn't clean?

The Sir / Madam thing would not bother me one bit, although I think Mr/Mrs Eyebags would be preferable.

MsMcWoodle Thu 06-Aug-15 20:21:30

I have a cleaner and don't make them clean the loo. I think everyone should clean their own.
I used to be a cleaner.

cavkc Thu 06-Aug-15 20:35:13

The toilet doesn't really bother me as it is the one thing I have always cleaned before the cleaner arrived ... Personal pride and all that

MuttonDressedAsGoose Thu 06-Aug-15 21:44:53

Toilets are standard and to not do them is just weird. Not cleaning inside an oven (other than just a wipe/brushing out crumbs) is not a standard thing. I also wouldn't expect a regular cleaner to go inside cupboards unless it was discussed but it could be rotated with other once-in-a-while things. Honestly, ovens would be the only thing that I wouldn't expect a weekly/fortnightly cleaner to get involved in unless you get it professionally cleaned and she's just giving it a superficial wipe.

MissDemelzaCarne Thu 06-Aug-15 21:47:12

Start calling her "Madam" back?

WorraLiberty Thu 06-Aug-15 21:47:40

She also gave me a typed list of jobs she won't do, including toilets, cooker, inside of kitchen units etc etc (she didn't mention this when I interviewed her)

But surely when you interviewed her, you told her what the job involved?

Or what was the point of the interview?

thetroubleis Thu 06-Aug-15 21:50:29

That is a little strange. I was probably lucky with both my cleaners, but they were both personable and efficient.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 06-Aug-15 21:50:57

My parents' cleaner calls them sir and madam too even though she's been with them years smile she's Polish, what nationality is your cleaner OP?

urrrnurrrjohnsnurrr Thu 06-Aug-15 21:57:30

"Downtown Abbey cosplay" grin

urrrnurrrjohnsnurrr Thu 06-Aug-15 21:59:07

Downton, obviously! Stupid phone....

Stingingthistle Thu 06-Aug-15 22:04:45

I'd get rid based on the list! The name thing is weird but the list is outrageously cheeky. Those things are intrinsic to the job.

tobysmum77 Thu 06-Aug-15 22:06:42

yanbu op that is just weird I think. I also am confused that people wouldn't want to be friendly with a cleaner also. Strange attitudes if you ask me.

I guess my cleaners ds goes to the same school as dd so if we didn't treat each other like erm normal people it would be very blush all round.

tobysmum77 Thu 06-Aug-15 22:07:06

Yeah and wtaf is that list all about??

cavkc Thu 06-Aug-15 22:09:10

The interview would have lasted hours if I had pointed out every single item

Wash basins

I showed her round and if there were any exclusions she should have pointed them out.

The inside of cupboards thing .. I have asked cleaners to do them on an occasional basis but in terms of next week instead of doing xyz could you clean a couple of cupboards or empty the fridge and wipe down


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