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AIBU unreasonable to want to clatter DH because we forgot to submit his pat leave claim in time?

(18 Posts)
BusyCee Thu 06-Aug-15 16:31:30

I'm 33wks pregnant with DC3. He didn't tell them in time so they will pay him for a week, but if he wants the second he needs to either take it as hols or unpaid leave. The utter, utter twat. I look like a barnyard animal and my moods swing between joy and tearful hysteria. Which bit of that did he not recognize as pregnancy? It's the only effing bit he's got to do - I'm doing all the hard stuff.

Grumble grumble.

YUDOTHIS Thu 06-Aug-15 16:32:13

I'd go ape.

Theycallmemellowjello Thu 06-Aug-15 16:43:25

Can he take the second week later on though?

DefinitelyNotElsa Thu 06-Aug-15 16:54:19

YANBU. I can't even imagine how cross I would be with DH if he had pulled this (currently 32 weeks pregnant).

Nolim Thu 06-Aug-15 16:58:59

I would be mad as hell

BusyCee Thu 06-Aug-15 17:05:35

Just spotted the typo in my OP. There's no 'we' about it! He bloody forgot!!

Honestly. As if it's not hard enough with x2 and a baby. He's just going to have to sort it. I need his support.

Tinandgonic Thu 06-Aug-15 20:26:09

Jeez his work are a bit crap! I'd be furious...with him and his work

Newtobecomingamum Thu 06-Aug-15 20:31:41

Aww don't be too hard. I bet he's feeling awful. You have a right to be annoyed obviously but is he under pressure at work or have lots on his mind? My poor hubby constantly forgets things paying parking charge bill, missed booking AL dates to coincide with mine etc but he didn't do it intentionally.. He's under lots of pressure at work and works so flipping hard and helps at home with everything as I'm pregnant and not well. I know men can be a pain in the arse etc but if he's good in all other areas don't be too harsh. smile

Fuckup Fri 07-Aug-15 11:05:51

angry I'd be raging too!

justmatureenough2bdad Fri 07-Aug-15 11:16:15

i think your dh is still entitled to the payment for the second week, despite the late notice, but his employer can pay it at a later date... (i realise this may not be the point, and the stat payment is required on the week he is off, but i think his entitlement to it remains....) Without seeing his contractual terms though, it is difficult to be sure

NickyEds Fri 07-Aug-15 11:20:19

YANBU I'd go apeshit. And when I was 33 weeks pregnant that would have been spectacular and deadly.

Yokohamajojo Fri 07-Aug-15 11:23:42

I would be so annoyed, it's like if you haven't got enough to be thinking about, why is it so difficult to manage your own stuff without having to be reminded by your (female most often) partner. When it comes to work stuff I bet he doesn't 'forget' important things!

lostinikea Fri 07-Aug-15 12:56:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NellysKnickers Fri 07-Aug-15 13:31:41

Send him back to work after the first week and then he can take another week later on. When you are feeling a bit more like some 'me' time and can take advantage. You will cope. I did twice as dh is self employed so no paternity here. You will get in a routine quicker, honestly it's not that much of a big deal. BUT by all means play on it to get him to do things for you such as massaging your feet, feeding you chocolate etc.

woolymum Fri 07-Aug-15 13:54:49

tbh this is the deal we did (twice).
dh could have had the 2 weeks on statutory pay or if he took the 2nd week as hol then they paid his first week on full salary.
okay, we lost week of hols that technically we didn't need to, but we didn't have a drop in pay and there was no resentment (on either side) about the tine off.

woolymum Fri 07-Aug-15 13:56:30

also, i wish we had had the 2nd week of hols later on and broke it up.
babies were easy for first few weeks. i really could have done with a hand when they cried 23 hrs out of every 24 and only slept during a 5 mile walk etc.....

BusyCee Fri 07-Aug-15 15:34:35

I've taken the moral ground and neither clattered him nor gone bat shot crazy. He's taking the second week anyway and applying to split the allowance. It's not the baby I'm worried about, or even DS1...but DS2 is an absolute nightmare and I'm really struggling with him already. He's just being 2 - which is fair enough - but dear god it's hard physical work with him...

1hamwich4 Fri 07-Aug-15 15:53:10

This happened to me. I was not impressed. At DH for not attending to the paperwork, and at his employer, who could quite easily have been reasonable about it, but instead chose to be a knob.

I think DH swung it with using emergency parental leave (we have a DC1 who needed care whilst I had DC2 so that fitted the criteria) and the weeks PL they so magnanimously offered a whole fucking week after I was due

I didn't need to punish DH, he did that himself.

And he rapidly found another job where the boss wasn't such a fucking dinosaur

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