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To ask about your experience of getting help with post natal depression

(18 Posts)
TryToBePositive Thu 06-Aug-15 12:03:24

My baby is 7 months old, for the past 2 months or so I haven't felt the best. I think I have post natal depression, or maybe just depression.

Ive made a doctors appointment for Monday but I'm very worried. I am struggling at the minute and I'm scared that once I tell the doctor that social services will get involved. That's not going to happen is it? They don't take babies away really do they?

Some days I think aboutbhurting myself or ending it. A few times I've picked a knife up. I haven't hurt myself and I would never hurt Mt baby but I'm so feightned that if I admint I'm havingbthese thoughts the doctor will think I'm a bad mum.

Injust need a bit of reassurance. Their there to help arnt they? I just can't get rid of this feeling of dread.

olympicsrock Thu 06-Aug-15 12:06:58

I had PND. When I admitted how low I felt at my post natal group the health visitor had some great practical solutions to help and I received lots of support from the other girls. There were absolutely no negative repercussions.
Please tell your GP and health visitor. They will be kind and support you.

fearandloathinginambridge Thu 06-Aug-15 12:13:57

I had PND. I have also had other episodes of depression with suicidal thoughts. At no point was it suggested that SS be involved.

You are not a bad mother and none of the professionals will think that. They see this a lot and will just want to help you get better.

CheshireChat Thu 06-Aug-15 12:27:51

Please don't worry about the SS getting involved, PND is an illness like any other and they wouldn't get involved if you broke a leg for example.
TBH, my GP was fairly useless and he was very insistent I stopped breastfeeding if I needed AD (you can have both, obviously if that is what you choose). He did refer me to a mental health programme and they were absolutely great and they sent me to counseling which helped.
Please don't be afraid to ask for help.

likeaboss Thu 06-Aug-15 12:28:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarlingMurmuration Thu 06-Aug-15 12:41:03

They absolutely won't get social services involved (unless there's a very real danger to your baby, and there's no indication that there is in your case). I have had very severe PND since my DS was born nearly nine months ago, and the support I have received has been excellent - a crisis team involved at the start with daily visits or calls, a support worker who still visits every fortnight or so, a mental health nurse at the local surgery to review my mess, CBT offered, plus a referral to Homestart which has been immeasurably helpful. There is a it of a postcode lottery though, a friend who is also suffering from PND who lives in the next village hasn't had so much help because we live in different countries. But I suspect all nhs districts prioritise postnatal mental health issues.

They will NOT take your baby away.

Fluffyears Thu 06-Aug-15 12:57:05

Please get help, yet don't want to take your baby away they want to support and help you. Say you had something wrong with your liver you'd go to GP. Same for the brain, the brain
Is amazing but it can go a bit wrong like any other organ. Your baby deserves a happy parent.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind Thu 06-Aug-15 13:05:59

I had quite bad PND and my HV and GP were both lovely. GP made sure I could still bf on the anti-d's I was prescribed (that was really important to me - but equally no one would judge at all if you preferred not to bf) and referred me for counselling. HV came to visit quite a few times and just let me talk. She was so supportive.

NOONE ever mentioned SS or taking my baby away, I promise you. I had moments where I wondered if I'd ever feel "normal" again but I did get better in time.

Keep talking to us here if it helps. It can feel a very lonely time, I know ((()))

ChickChickQuack Thu 06-Aug-15 13:41:09

I've been there too. My ADs (sertraline, so I could continue BF) helped MASSIVELY and I never had to go above the starting dose. I'm now pregnant with DC2 and have no intention of stopping ADs as hopefully they'll ward off a repeat of PND.
Please, ask for help. And absolutely do not worry about anyone taking your baby. Admitting you're not feeling great IS putting your baby first.
Feel free to PM me xx

PuntasticUsername Thu 06-Aug-15 13:46:01

I had PND. It was awful, but my GP and HV couldn't have been kinder. They will just be glad you've come forward to get the help you deserve thanks

Whatthehelliswrongwithme Thu 06-Aug-15 17:52:36

Watching this thread with interest. Have been worried about a similar thing for some weeks now but have been too scared to go to the doctor. I would be very grateful for the experiences of others who have found themselves in the same position.

MsRaspberryJam Thu 06-Aug-15 18:00:18

In my experience, PND is different from normal depression. There's something about it that makes you not want to get help. Maybe because of fear of other people becoming involved or concerns that you are a bad parent if you need help.

Whatever you are feeling now, I promise it will get better if you ask for help. Just ask. It's ok.

MamaLazarou Thu 06-Aug-15 18:09:33

I went to my GP when my baby was 8 months old and told her I thought I had PND. She was wonderful and put me on ADs straight away - We had to play around with the dose a bit to get the right level for me, but they worked. I also had six sessions of psychotherapy and joined a support group at my local branch of MIND. In time I made a full recovery and am very happy and well now.

No-one is going to take your baby away just because you have depression.

Please don't hurt yourself. This isn't your fault.

Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to. I love to help other women with PND whenever I can because I have been there and I know how isolating it is.

Good luck flowers

TryToBePositive Fri 07-Aug-15 14:09:55

Thank you for your kind replies.

I have my good days and my bad days but lately its just all bad days. I don't have a family and I'm single. I have 3 friends and that's it. I feel very much alone.

I just want to feel normal again, my poor baby, she's so happy and smiley and she mostly just sees her mum crying. Because I don't have any family support and I'm a younger mum I'm worried they'll think I can't cope.

I can, I'm just finding it hard at the minute. My baby is in the clingybstage ATM so I do not get any peace. I have to take her to the toilet with me ect. Her dad helps out when he can be arsed.

I feel guilty for wanting some peace. I feel guilty for not being happy. I love being a mum and I feel more than grateful to have my baby, but I do have my days where I just want some space.

My friends are the ones who advised me to go to the doctors, the last 3/4 times I've seen them I've just embarrassed myself and cried.

I just want this feeling of dread to be gone. Even when my baby goes to bed I'm stillnworried . I have a sensor mat for my baby in case she stops breathing. Ever wince in found out I was pregnant with her I've worried she will die.

Reading through the post and I sound mental don't I. My train of thoughts are all over the place. The babies dad calls me stupid and useless because I don't make sense he says.

Oh god, I just want to be normal again

PuntasticUsername Fri 07-Aug-15 15:57:45

Oh, love.

If you go and tell some medical professionals how you feel, they are NOT going to think that you can't cope. Because recognising that you need and deserve help to feel better, and going and getting that help, is evidence that you know you're not supposed to feel this way, and you're doing something about it. That, is coping!

Don't listen to baby's dad, he doesn't sound as if he has much of a clue - and only helping out "when he can be arsed" doesn't give him much of a right to be shouting the odds on this anyway, in my view!

MsRaspberryJam Fri 07-Aug-15 20:19:38

Would it help you if I told you that I remember feeling just the same?

This isn't your fault. It happens to so many of us. It's hormones, and it's tiredness, and it's having your whole life change, and all of the responsibility. You have a lot going on. But if you ask for help, and hold on tight for just a little longer, you'll get back to those good days.

Peppasmate Fri 07-Aug-15 20:30:52

WhenI had PND after dc4 the GP did a repeat prescription of prozac for nearly 3 years. I went back once to get the dose increased. Nothing else. No S'S -nothing.

After

Szeli Sat 08-Aug-15 00:06:39

I had social services involvement but my pnd was extreme and even then all they did was contact any local services we had contact with to assure them ds was in no danger. no problem

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