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to think this is just so bloody rude?

(14 Posts)
screenjunkie Wed 05-Aug-15 20:05:38

I'm quite new(ish) to a certain friendship group. I was introduced by a friend of mine and I've slowly become really good friends with the rest.

The group is quite widespread as in we also know a lot of the same people etc. One of those is a guy (the only guy) and on some occasions we have gone out on a girls nights, or a weekend away without him. He's really only close friends with one person in the group, the rest of us just know him through her but we all really like him.

This upset him and of course we felt bad.

I'm having a bbq this weekend and I've invited the group and I sent him a message on fb on Sunday, and he's clearly read it and not bothered to respond either way.

Aibu to think you can't complain about being left out and then not respond to when you are invited??

WorraLiberty Wed 05-Aug-15 20:08:31

Urggh! I hate that FB grasses us up when we've read messages.

He might've opened it and decided to check if he's free, before deciding to reply.

After all, it's still only Wednesday.

DoJo Wed 05-Aug-15 20:53:18

Has everyone else responded?

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Wed 05-Aug-15 21:27:18

You can't be sure he has read it. I know DH's phone registers messages as read before he has physically clicked on them.
I would message again on Friday and ask for a reply (if he hasn't yet) and say you need numbers for doing the food shop.

DeeWe Wed 05-Aug-15 21:30:23

I can read messages on my old computer, but it tends to crash majorly if I try and reply. So I wait to reply until I am on a better computer, which can be a few days.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Wed 05-Aug-15 21:37:15

He might be checking to see if he's free.

There are times when I don't reply to messages straight away. I wasn't aware that people might consider this to be rude. Maybe he's the same way?

screenjunkie Wed 05-Aug-15 23:00:26

Well he's posted a lot and shared a lot of things so

DoJo Wed 05-Aug-15 23:10:32

Either way, not replying instantly to an invitation isn't rude - so long as he lets you know in good time before the event (which I would argue is the day before for an informal barbecue) then there is nothing rude about waiting to respond. Just because he complained about being left out previously doesn't mean he should be held to a higher standard for responding to invitations than anyone else.

screenjunkie Wed 05-Aug-15 23:34:39


I wasn't expecting a reply straight away but with 2 days to go yeah I think thats rude.

People generally know at this point in the week if they are free at the weekend or not.

StampyMum Thu 06-Aug-15 00:02:42

Maybe his child had his phone when the message came through, and clicked on it, making it look like it's read. I've had this happen to me and to people I've sent messages to.

Summerisle1 Thu 06-Aug-15 00:05:30

Being otherwise active on Facebook is irrelevant though. I know that I sometimes get messages that I briefly scan before waiting to answer them much later on which is basically when I'm in the best position to answer them properly! So he's not necessarily being rude at all.

msgrinch Thu 06-Aug-15 00:13:21

My phone and laptop "read" messages without me actua seeing them. why don't you just call him and ask? instead of calling him rude and being offended about something that may not be his fault.

UrethraFranklin1 Thu 06-Aug-15 00:28:08

Sunday isn't 2 days from Wednesday. Yabu.

The5DayChicken Thu 06-Aug-15 00:58:11

He might just not like you. It's not rude to dislike someone, even when you do move in the same friendship circles.

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