Bit of background: Bought my house with my XP more than a decade ago. Plan was to double size of house by extension (done) which we'd then finish ourselves (not done). When we first split up, XP said he'd finish it, I gave him 2 years, he hadn't so I moved back in. With the intention of finishing it, except I haven't either.
So nearly 5 years on, it's still nowhere near finished. Some rooms are 95% there, others more like 50%, but it's now reached a stage where the 'good' rooms all need redecorating anyway. And it's just all a bit beyond me - it's a big house (14 rooms, plus a couple of big walk in cupboards) and whilst I have tinkered round the edges over the years (which has taken a lot of time nonetheless) there's almost nothing to show for my efforts. I've also tried to get people in to do work which has been pretty disastrous, either things have been done badly/wrong, or now I'm in the position where I can barely get anyone out to quote (I've spent hours ringing round) and when they do they're pretty rude, and don't want the work!
In an ideal world I'd give someone £10-15k (which I have, I've saved and budgeted for years to cover these costs) and say finish the lot, and it would all get done. All the new doorframes, skirting boards, plumbing, laying flooring/carpet, decorating etc. But I can't get anyone to do one job let alone all of it.
So, I'm now in a relationship, and long term (in the next 12 months or so) we would like to move in together. But he can't live here as it is, there's loads I'd need to do (not even finish it, but I've got to basically create 2 extra bedrooms, and complete 2 bathrooms as a minimum) , and I barely know where to start. Also understandably he doesn't want to live in my house forever, and has suggested I look into just cutting my losses and selling, because he doesn't think I'll ever finish it.
In it's current state my house is worth a minimum of £100k less than it's 'finished' value, so frankly I can't face doing that. Even if it cost me £20k to finish (it wouldn't), I'd still be at least £80k better off by persevering. Which is a huge amount of money to lose.
So AIBU to think I should (somehow) stick it out and finish it, rather than chuck away £80k? (I think I'm not BU at all on this).
If I'm right though, where the actual fuck do I start? I work FT, have limited evening/weekend time to do anything, and no-one to help (I can pay people, but I don't have any friends or family to give me a hand).
Advice would be welcomed, because me not doing anything with the house is becoming a bit of a sticking point with bf and I. I don't like being told I'll never finish it (he's not the first one to say that tbh) BUT otoh I haven't done much in recent years, so how am I ever going to get it done?
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AIBU?
AIBU about my house? (sorry, rather long!)
75 replies
velvetspoon · 05/08/2015 18:14
OP posts:
MiaowTheCat ·
05/08/2015 18:54
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