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AIBU?

to ask if you would be disappointed with this present

154 replies

Littleen · 05/08/2015 11:41

It's my brother's 30th soon, and I've got him a candle for present. It's a nice, biiig candle from M&S, cost £12 and looks quite cool :) I am not great with presents however, and worry it might seem a bit random / not quite enough to form an actual gift. Should I add more, or would this be suitable for someone's 30th?

OP posts:
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featherandblack · 05/08/2015 11:43

That's not adequate IMO.

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wigglesrock · 05/08/2015 11:44

Does he like candles?

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MaxPepsi · 05/08/2015 11:45

Well, does he like candles?

I wouldn't have thought many 30 year old men would?

I think it's random and I'm a candle lover.

How much is your budget?

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Floggingmolly · 05/08/2015 11:45

It is a bit random...

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LongDistanceLove · 05/08/2015 11:45

Does he like candles?

I've just turned 30 and I would love that as a gift.

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wowfudge · 05/08/2015 11:45

Does he like candles?

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ErrolTheDragon · 05/08/2015 11:46

Depends - does he actually use candles? I've been given them at various points but I never use them.

As to whether it's 'enough' that depends on what sort of gifts you generally exchange.

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MarkRuffaloCrumble · 05/08/2015 11:46

If he generally likes householdy stuff then I'm sure he will appreciate it, but perhaps a bottle of wine or some choccies too to bulk it out?

Or you could get him a little something to commemorate his 'big' birthday (I got XH some silver plated chip forks and have bought other people personalised teaspoons etc, which you can get for a very reasonable price online)

I've also bought people little inspirational shoe lace badges, ideal gifts for fitness buffs/runners! Just a little something for him to keep and remember his birthday fondly which doesn't cost a fortune.

Personalised teaspoons/shoe lace badges etc here

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SniffsAndSneezes · 05/08/2015 11:46

I got my bro a £160 A&F jacket for his 30th... It's my 30th in a few weeks and it wouldn't surprise me if all I get from him is a text message.

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Coconutty · 05/08/2015 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lornathewizzard · 05/08/2015 11:47

My brother would probably look at me a little oddly if I bought him a candle. But obviously your brother may be different. What about a restaurant voucher or something similar?

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Iggly · 05/08/2015 11:47

Er a candle....? Really?

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londonrach · 05/08/2015 11:47

No. Also does he like candles as im not a fan due to fire risk. I would never get a man a candle but you know your brother. What does he like or like doing. If 30th i might get an experience day like a glider lesson or a spa day depending on the person. My grandad was over the moon with a box pf special apples for his 30th. He had a different old english apple per day. My dad would just been happy with different special beers...

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StrangeLookingParasite · 05/08/2015 11:48

Er no, not at all.

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Heels99 · 05/08/2015 11:48

A candle?

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cariadlet · 05/08/2015 11:48

If your brother likes candles then it's fine. Does he have candles around the house at home? (and if he does, do you know if he chose some of them or - if he lives with someone - did his other half choose them?)

It also depends if you're from a family that makes a big fuss over every birthday with a zero or if he's treating it as a normal birthday, and also how much money you usually spend on each other (and how flush or broke you are at the moment).

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Birdsgottafly · 05/08/2015 11:48

What is your Mum organising, or his partner etc?

I got my Son In Law a "30" plaque and got both sides of the family to sign it, we have elderly relatives "passing" this year.

It was his favourite present.

Is there nothing personal that you can do, it doesn't have to cost a lot.

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BoopTheLoop · 05/08/2015 11:49

I'm sorry but I think that's a really bad gift for a man. DH or my brother would either give it to me stright away or give otto a charity shop...that or shove it in a cupboard never to be seen again.

In general men don't like candles. If I were him, I'd realise pretty clearly yo didnt out any thought in at all....and I'd deeply suspect a regift.

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HolgerDanske · 05/08/2015 11:49

Uhm if he's into candles then I guess it's a good start. But no I don't think it's really enough on its own. Maybe a hamper of various things?

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littlejohnnydory · 05/08/2015 11:50

Bit impersonal, I think. Unless he loves candles! What are his hobbies and interests? Are there any shops he loves (clothes, sports, etc?) - you could get him a voucher? Or if you know something he particularly loves? It's the thought that goes into it and the effort of finding something personal that matters imo.

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ErrolTheDragon · 05/08/2015 11:50

Some blokes do like candles - my DH used to like a scented one when he was having a bath, until he realised it was making the bathroom walls sooty.

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Hulababy · 05/08/2015 11:50

I like nice candles. But I'm not a 30 year old male.

I'm not sure many of the men I know would really appreciate a candle. I am sure there are some who would though, and you know your brother best.

I'd probably add some decent wine or beer as well though.

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TwinTum · 05/08/2015 11:50

I like getting candles. Neither of my brothers would appreciate a candle particularly. Not sure why, just not something I could imagine them getting excited about. I like to think they would be polite if someone bought them one though! My DH is a bit more into interiors. I do think he would still find it a bit random (might think of it as more of a gift for me), but would I think be pleased enough with it. it is probably more a gift people would think to buy for a woman, but no reason why that should be. Really it boils down to your brother's tastes. Do you think he would like a candle? If so I think it is a substantial enough gift for the budget. On budget, it is about what my DH would spend on his siblings, less than I would spend on mine - my family have always gone into presents in a bigger way.

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luckiestgirlintheworld · 05/08/2015 11:51

If he's into house decor things then that sounds fine to me. If you'd have said it was your sisters 30th I would have said it sounds like a great present, but that's because I would (sexistly) assume she liked candles. So if he likes candles then I think it's a good present.

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Floralnomad · 05/08/2015 11:51

Odd choice of present for a 30 yr old man . Having a small budget is one thing but to me candles are the sort of gift that says not a lot of thought has been put into the gift - unless the recipient really likes candles .

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