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to be unsure when/how to contact friend...

(10 Posts)
cjt110 Tue 04-Aug-15 12:15:56

... I suppose not really AIBU but here goes....

I have a good friend who I met when I was on mat leave. We quite often message one another through whatsapp... hows each others kids/other halfs etc etc. Lately she seemed a little distant and not her usual self.

Anyway, after a few days she old me that she and her DH had found out she was expecting but there was no heartbeat at the scan and she was having an epc(?) a few days later. I told her I was sorry to hear her sad news and that if she wanted to talk, I was there to listen but wouldnt bring it up as I'm sure it'd a painful experience/memory. She did talk a bit but then conversation drifted onto other stuff. The last time I contacted her was about a week ago. I dont want her to feel Im shying away from her but also dont want to swamp her.


WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Tue 04-Aug-15 12:18:00

I would send a sympathy card/note.
Just to say you are thinking of her. She can then reply if/when she feels up to it.

TheSkyAtNight Tue 04-Aug-15 12:42:22

A text to say you are thinking of her & would love to see her when she feels up to it? You are a lovely friend btw.

RunnerHasbeen Tue 04-Aug-15 12:47:25

I'd send a wee message that you're thinking of her and offering to watch her DC if she would like a break or some time to herself.

Glitteryarse Tue 04-Aug-15 12:49:37

Text now and just say you are thinking of them all and does she need anything.

cjt110 Tue 04-Aug-15 13:28:15

Thanks everyone. I dont want her to think Im not acknoweldging what they have been through but also dont want to upset her either. Perhaps a coffee at the weekend might be nice. And thank you TheSkyAtNight I do try

cuntycowfacemonkey Tue 04-Aug-15 13:36:22

When my friend was going through a hard time I tried to send messages that let her know I was thinking of her but didn't require her to respond if she wasn't up for talking, so usually something along the lines of "Hi X was thinking of you guys today if you want some company next week give me a shout"

moooolah Tue 04-Aug-15 14:11:34

Someone sent me a lovely bunch of flowers with a note to let me know they were thinking of me when I was having a mc. I loved having them brighten up the house (i prefered it to a card, undercover circumstances)

Definitely text her.. x

cjt110 Tue 04-Aug-15 14:28:34

Have dropped her a text saying "Hi lovely, hope you're all well. How was your birthday and weekend away?x" (She recently had her birthday and went away --if that couldnt be guessed from the message!--)

cjt110 Tue 04-Aug-15 15:06:24

Just got a message back from her saying they are still away - replied saying hope they are having a great time and if she fancies a catch up when she's home to give me a nudge.

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