WIBU to not let ds age 3 play on the road?

[Chipshopninja]

Right now I feel like a very mean and boring mum and don't think IWBU but maybe I was?

Just finished work and picked ds (3 years old - 4 in a week) up from nursery.

He asked if he could go play out in the back garden, I said yes while I did my jobs (wash pots, put washing on, Hoover up etc)

After a few minutes I heard him shout "my friends!" And run inside to the front door, which was locked.

For background these "friends" are a group of about 6 children on our road, very nice kids ages ranging from around 5 to 8 I would say. We know a few of their names but my son just refers to them as "friends"

I told him to wait until I had finished my jobs and I would go out with him because he wasn't old enough to play out without me or his Dad being on the front

He screamed, shouted, hit me and kicked me. At that point I told him that because he had hit and kicked me (ongoing issue when he doesn't get his own way at the moment) he wasn't going out at all now.

He cried and screamed for about 10 minutes and kept shouting "mummy don't!!" (that'll go down well with the neighbours)

I know that our generation wraps kids in cotton wool a bit, and I played out when I was little but always with my older brother and not as young as 3 I don't think.

I feel mean and that I was being unreasonable, but at the same time I don't think I was!

WIBU?

[Chipshopninja]

Sorry just read that back I wasn't very clear

He ran inside from our back garden because he had heard the other kids playing out on the road

[SnakeWitch]

No, I wouldn't have either as I think it's too young.

[whatsagoodusername]

It might depend on the road a bit for me, and the other children. A very quiet road, responsible older children, yes probably I'd let him. If not quiet, or the older children not inclined to be responsible, then no.

I don't think YABU.

[googoodolly]

It depends on the road. I think a very quiet cul-de-sac where you know the neighbours and there's no through-traffic, it's okay, but otherwise, three is too young to be out without supervision, especially if there are cars coming and going all the time.

[Canyouforgiveher]

of course you can't let a 3 year old out on the road on his own. He is 3, he had a tantrum when he didn't get what he wanted. That's what 3 year olds do.

The only way I'd let a 3 year old out on his own is if a responsible 11 year old (maybe) I knew offered to take him and mind him for me.

[Theycallmemellowjello]

No I don't think I'd let them do that before age 7 really.

[Samcro]

I wouldn't
we have some very small children playing in our street, they have zero road sense, stand in the middle of road and just run out.
they are too young to be playing un supervised.

[Chipshopninja]

It is a quiet road (cul-de-sac) but the oldest kid is 8 ish and I don't think it's fair to expect an 8 year old to be responsible for a 3 year old they don't know that well.

Because it is a quiet road I think I will be ok with it in another year when we've got to know the neighbours a bit more (been here just over a year)

[millymae]

I absolutely agree 3 going on 4 is far too young to be allowed to play out in the road without adult supervision.

[Samcro]

so no cars ever use the street?
\in that case I would

[UrethraFranklin1]

No, far too young.

[MegMogandOwlToo]

We live in a very quiet cul de sac and there's often kids playing out between 2-6 but I wouldn't let my 3 year old play out on the front, perhaps you could invite the other children to play in your back garden?

[ElementaryMyDearWatson]

Our road is a cul de sac, but what always concerns me is that some of the children playing in it assume that a car will never come down and run out without looking. When my dc were little I only let them play out in the road with their friends if I was able to supervise.

[Chipshopninja]

Cars do use the road, yes
20mph zone but still

I'd be happy for them to play in our garden, mite suggest that another time but don't know if the older ones would want to?

[Bunbaker]

Not without my supervision. We live in a quiet cul-de-sac off a cul-de-sac, but I wouldn't let DD play out the front of our house unless I was there to supervise.

[squoosh]

I'm all for kids playing out by themselves but 3 is just too young.

[hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman]

No and for the reason you said, it is not fair to give an 8 year old responsibility a 3 year old child.

[Poledra]

I'm with you. We live down a lane, where all the neighbours know that my kids might be out playing on the lane (we have the only little ones in all the houses) and I still only allowed them out alone at 5yo. All the neighbours know my kids might be there, but their visitors don't! mates of next door's teenager, I'm looking at you

[RamblingRosieLee]

never for me, 3 too young

[cestlavielife]

what does he have to do to earn rights to go out etc?

do you also offer a reward scheme/token board/if you do this nicely then you can xxxxx ?

anyways tell him when you are five /six/seven (you decide) you can go and play outside with the friends. now if you play nicely in the garden in five minutes i will go outside with you.

[LittleprincessinGOLDrocks]

No. Far too young. I have only just started letting my 5 year old (nearly 6) out, but only with his big sister (nearly 9), and they have to stay between 2 markers on the pavement and no crossing the road. I spot check on them frequently (though most of the time I sit out and watch or watch from the window) and the door is left open so I can hear them. 3 is far too young to be trusted to stick to the rules.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

No YNBU. 3 is far far too young to be playing out in the front especially if unsupervised.
Where I live they're more or less thrown out as soon as they can walk.