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To want to avoid known infections?

(28 Posts)
RedYellaGreen Mon 03-Aug-15 10:06:34

I have an incurable disease that is made severely worse by stress, tiredness or infections.

Last winter I was ill back to back from September to March and it was hell. I've been healthy for a few months now and life is all the more worth living.

However, I would like to avoid known infections and viruses, just because I can. I realise that you can pick up infection anywhere, but there is something about known infection that feels a bit different.

My parents have asked if they can invite a cousin to a day out. I am not included in the day out, but my children are. In fact, the sole purpose of the day out is to give me rest.

The last time they went out with known infection, I caught it and was ill for months. I just can't bear that idea! AIBU to say please don't invite the cousin with the virus? I feel so mean.

EatShitDerek Mon 03-Aug-15 10:10:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaidOfStars Mon 03-Aug-15 10:11:00

What virus does the (children's?) cousin have?

NerrSnerr Mon 03-Aug-15 10:14:15

What infections are you talking about? Are your children in school because surely someone will always have a cold in their class throughout the autumn term? You'd struggle to keep them away from all infections.

Bunbaker Mon 03-Aug-15 10:22:47

It isn't clear from your post, but are you saying that you know that this cousin is already unwell? Or are you assuming that he/she is?

I understand your concerns and used to have the same worries when DD was little and medically vulnerable.

LazyLohan Mon 03-Aug-15 10:23:16

What's the cousin got?

BerylStreep Mon 03-Aug-15 10:26:30

I think it depends on whether the cousin is currently unwell.

Mrsjayy Mon 03-Aug-15 10:31:14

What known i fection do they have if they are ill why are they invited anyway?

306235388 Mon 03-Aug-15 10:32:59

What's the matter with the cousin? Is it your children's cousin or yours? Do they see them other times?b

RedYellaGreen Mon 03-Aug-15 10:48:32

I will try to answer all questions:

Its a current throat infection, with all the usual trimmings (temperature, malaise, cough and runny nose). The whole family have it, but only the cousin wanted to play for the day, despite having it.

The grandparents wouldn't be taking kids out today if it were not for my health (need to rest). They take the kids once a week for a few hours, but today is longer being as it's summer holidays.

One DC goes to school, and that is probably one of the reasons I was ill all winter. But being ill for 6 months of the year is not something I wish to extend through the summer months too!

RedYellaGreen Mon 03-Aug-15 10:50:30

oh, missed one question. They see the cousin, among many other cousins, every few months.

Theycallmemellowjello Mon 03-Aug-15 10:51:16

I would say no, make it clear you're sorry about it, explain your reasons, then say you'll have the cousin over/do something with them, when s/he is well again.

Bunbaker Mon 03-Aug-15 10:52:48

It's out of the question that they see this cousin then.

However, your children need to build up immunity against illness and if they avoid it they will never do so. It's a catch 22 situation.

AngieBolen Mon 03-Aug-15 10:55:00

It's good that your parents have consulted you about this.

You can give your answer.

Job done.


Mrsjayy Mon 03-Aug-15 10:57:51

No i wouldnt let them either throat infections are so easily passed on especially coughing and spluttering children its not fair on your children and you

LeafyLafae Mon 03-Aug-15 11:02:06

One "day off" from the kids is not worth it if you're ran down for weeks on end... Parents of snotty nose shouldn't be sending them & they're unreasonable for doing so

TheGonnagle Mon 03-Aug-15 11:04:53

I'm in the same situation and I actively avoid people displaying symptoms. You can't help walking into infections, viruses etc most of the time but I see no need to actively seek one out!

RedYellaGreen Mon 03-Aug-15 11:08:16

It's hard to know where to draw the line. Of all those saying they'd avoid, would you feel different if, for example, there was just a sore throat with no cough?

Bunbaker Mon 03-Aug-15 11:11:13

The trouble is a sore throat could be a sign of something brewing. I often get a sore throat before I get a cold. At that point the person with the sore throat might be more infectious.

Mrsjayy Mon 03-Aug-15 11:16:29

If i was in your position and know somebody was ill with a sore throat even with no cough i would avoid them that includes children seeing sore throat person.

RedYellaGreen Mon 03-Aug-15 11:19:04

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback.

Mrsjayy Mon 03-Aug-15 11:22:05

Knew* my dd got scarlet fever when she was 12 i believe that comes from a sore throat

Bunbaker Mon 03-Aug-15 11:35:42

And DD's chicken pox started with a sore throat.

Theycallmemellowjello Mon 03-Aug-15 12:16:30

If the sore throat is serious enough to have been mentioned I'd imagine it's fairly severe?

LittleLionMansMummy Mon 03-Aug-15 13:31:48

Throat infections are nasty. I had one back in February that needed antibiotics and it knocked me off my feet for a week. Very, very painful. I am otherwise fit and healthy. YANBU.

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