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To think my mum's neighbours are awful human beings

(20 Posts)
LilyKiwi Sun 02-Aug-15 19:28:12

My mum lives in a maisonettes above a flat, she's a single woman approaching her 70s and lives above a couple in their mid 50s. About four times a year I visit with my two year old, we are out most of the day, he goes to bed 7.30pm until 7am, he does normal play at my mum's in the evening, crawling around on hands and knees with cars, Lego, sometimes a bit of dancing to children's music, but no running of jumping off furniture obviously! During him dancing to some kids music at about 6.30pm the man from downstairs came flying up in a rage, hammering on the door and shouting at my mum saying my child has to be quiet, they can't hear their TV and that if it was his grandchild making that noise he'd be giving them a smack amongst other abuse. After he left, my mum then went downstairs to say sorry they found it noisy but he wasn't doing anything anti social, goes to bed early, doesn't visit often but that the house is an old period property that wasn't designed to be flats so noise travels further than it should. She was told to go away and not ruin their evening anymore, they also said they would get in touch with lawyers! The other issue is that they have a house cat which they were letting out of their back door twice a day to basically crap in my mums garden, my mum has been picking this up twice a day for some time but said that in the rain it was just getting impossible and disgusting so has paid to have a fence fitted in her garden to stop this happening, they dug it up and messed with it to try and push their cat out (they have their own front garden and obviously don't want a litter tray) the man from downstairs then aggressively questions the fence saying they have a right to my mum's garden for fire access (factually untrue) got very angry and told her he hopes 'she rots upstairs'. A third incident was when my mother had a very, very severe nose bleed (she has also had a couple of strokes) and paramedics had to be called, they were lovely and attended to her at 9pm, but where wearing slightly muddy boots so mum did a quick Hoover (still very dazed) after they left and the woman flew upstairs to attack her for disturbing them and that she had just got her 9 year old grand child to sleep and how dare my mother Hoover at that time. My mum apologised and explained the situation, that she never normally Hoovers late etc. They are also now taking in her packages when she isn't in and holding them. They rent, she owns, the landlord says he doesn't want to get involved, he is friends with my mum and one of the downstairs neighbours works for the landlord and is a distant relative. Please give my your opinions as I think I'm going to direct the neighbours and the land lord to this post. The property my mum lives in is three bedrooms so it could very easily be a family living above them at all times. Thanks for reading this far!

Supervet Sun 02-Aug-15 19:52:20

ha at in touch with their lawyers. That's not how it works. You report noise to the landlord or environmental health, if consistent noise it might get as far as environmental health they might eventually try and record the noise to take action. it would have to be a VERY noisy toddler before 11pm to 7am to make them take action (I.e it's not going to happen)
Same with the hoovering.

Your Mum can talk to a housing advisor at the council even if in private let about housing issues if the landlord is useless.

if they threaten your Mum ring police.
If they harass your Mum ring police.

iluvshoes Sun 02-Aug-15 19:53:23

God people can be so horrible cant they. All your mum can do is keep a record of all this behaviour and just keep telling the landlord. It sounds like some of it is threatening behaviour as well so she could inform the police. I hope your mum is ok as this is just awful for her. If anyone was treating my mum like this I know I would also be very angry.

lem73 Sun 02-Aug-15 19:57:35

Your poor mum. I'm afraid I don't have much practical advice for you but I just wanted to offer my support. My mum is a similar age and I'd be livid if someone treated her like that. Could she potentially move?

RitaKiaOra Sun 02-Aug-15 19:58:40

They sound like absolute wankers.
Re. the fence I would be contacting the police for damage to property having sent a copy of my property lines to the LL. Also, if I had evidence of them having my parcels, that would be repirted as theft.
I would be logging the incidents time, date and what was said as it is harrassment. I would be sending the LL a solicitor's letter regarding his tenants' anti-social behavior not allowing me to enjoy my property peacefully.
I would be sending a letter to them to cease/desist.
I would no longer be answering the door but would record the hammering and abuse. This, along with the log, to the police. CCTV installed over garden if I had the funds. Spraying the cat with a water pistol if I did not.
But I am not 70 and I do not take kindly to bullies.
Bottom line, I might at her age, look to move.

MrsPnut Sun 02-Aug-15 19:58:45

I think she needs to contact the antisocial behaviour team at her local council and ask their advice. If she has contacted the landlord and he doesn't want to know then they can support her to take further action.

She has a right to enjoy her home without being abused by her downstairs neighbours.

NewsreaderChic Sun 02-Aug-15 20:03:31

If I were you I'd call the local police station and explain what's going on and ask them if someone could have a word. My understanding is that this will be taken seriously, hopefully they'll behave but if not she will then have a contact to talk to from the Police.

PHANTOMnamechanger Sun 02-Aug-15 20:04:33

some people are just horrible sad do you think CAB would be any help in this situation? But as everyone has said, your mum needs to log every single incident and if they harrass/threaten her, phone the police. They sound like bullies.

RitaKiaOra Sun 02-Aug-15 20:05:30

reported (fast typing)

To the LL: you give the rest of us a bad name. I take my duties to my tenants as a LL very seriously but I also respect my ex-neighbours. If I was told all this was happening I would be giving a Section 21.

To the tenants: bullying someone 20 years older than you, seriously?
Children's noise is normal, expected and protected between 7am and 10pm where I live. Be bloody grateful you do not live under for your cat - your cat, your garden, your cat shit you lazy feckers.

LilyKiwi Sun 02-Aug-15 20:08:36

Thanks all so much for your replies! I'm furious on her behalf. She's lived here for over 30 years and is in love with her home. Any more threatening behaviour and the police sounds like a good step. I want to publicly shame them for their cowardly and disgusting behaviour. Makes me furious to think of that man saying such vile things to an older woman. I haven't actually informed dh of the whole story, as he would be very keen to have a stern word and I don't want to escalate the situation for her (yet anyway). But on the other hand I would like to see him pick on someone his own size.

Longtalljosie Sun 02-Aug-15 20:13:04

I would totally send your DH in. I remember when my Granny's neighbours tried a bit of a garden grab. The minute she wrote to them referring them to my uncle for further correspondence they backed straight down...

Zillie77 Sun 02-Aug-15 20:13:22

What a pair of ridiculous grumps! I can never understand people being irritated at the sound of children playing at a perfectly reasonable hour. If I were their landlord I would be very unhappy to hear of my tenants making other people's lives miserable. I would be tempted to not renew a lease based on that. They sound off-balanced and kind of scary.

bumbleymummy Sun 02-Aug-15 20:21:23

They sound horrible! Your poor mum. I agree with keeping a record and reporting it to the landlord and the police for threatening behaviour.

Rosieliveson Sun 02-Aug-15 20:23:10

Does your mum have a peephole? I'd tell her not to answer the door if it is the downstairs neighbours. Pop the tv, radio or Hoover on and ignore.
I would also send a letter ti the downstairs neighbour to state that as the situation has now deteriorated into bullying and threats, all and any communication must now take place through you or your DH on 078.... Or in writing. Any future threats and abuse directed at your mother, theft of parcels and/or damage to property will be referred directly to the local police for their consideration.

People like these neighbours are bullies. They thrive on normal, reasonable people like your mother trying to make peace and pacify them.

sleeponeday Sun 02-Aug-15 20:29:16

The landlord is extremely foolish not to want to get involved. Disputes with neighbours must be declared if a property is being sold, and your mum is not living there as an investment. If the landlord wants his investment to remain a good one, he needs to deal with his abusive and threatening tenants before any official record of their behaviour is made.

OP, repost on Legal and ask for guidance on their behaviour. They are harassing an elderly lady, which I would doubt is lawful. The landlord needs to reconsider his position.

sleeponeday Sun 02-Aug-15 20:30:52

And for reasons of convenience, for the time being I'd arrange for her mail to go to your house, because appalling as it is, if they aren't going to hand it over easily then the simplest solution is for it not to be in their grabby little hands to start with.

WhereYouLeftIt Sun 02-Aug-15 20:45:12

"the landlord says he doesn't want to get involved, he is friends with my mum and one of the downstairs neighbours works for the landlord and is a distant relative."
Tough. He has responsibilities here, and no choice over getting involved. He IS involved. And he is no friend to your mother, letting his tenants harass her. He needs to deal with his tenants.

I would probably call the police on 101 and explain that an elderly vulnerable woman is being harassed/bullied by her downstairs neighbours and ask for their advice.

LilyKiwi Sun 02-Aug-15 21:01:26

Thank you all so much for your very wise, reassuring and helpful posts. I feel much better for just reading them. My mum will now be collecting her post from Royal Mail so as to avoid the theft (her preferred method), sad but true. I will be writing up events with her tonight and one more incident and it will be interference from her son in laws and police, as well as a stern and recorded letter to LL to ensure all further contact is through himself and that his tenants are never to enter or tamper with her property again. I'm so angry that he knows his tenants have been threatening yet tries to insist she must deal with the problem herself. Again thanks so much to all of you, mumsnet can be such an amazing place, I feel truly armed with such good information and ideas now.

Supervet Tue 04-Aug-15 08:14:27

You can inform Royal Mail not to leave parcels elsewhere if you aren't in. We have had to do it

Ruledbycatsandkids6 Tue 04-Aug-15 08:23:12

Your mum is lucky to have such a supportive and lovely dd too.

Your plan sounds a good one op and all the advice is good.

Remember it's all about words on a page as lawyers will say so log everything and send copies to everyone involved.

The land lord is a twat. He is involved so he has to step up.

What vile bullies they sound. Bet they will shake in their shoes when the police come knocking or they get an official latter about their behaviour.

Please post that happens op.

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