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To wonder why some people die early

(127 Posts)
pinktrufflechoc Sun 02-Aug-15 13:02:58

It does seem to be the case that so many people are totally and completely healthy and then they die and are not often when they're quite young.

Yet really frail people who you'd almost expect to die sooner live well into their 90s.

I dunno. It's weird isn't it?

Newtobecomingamum Sun 02-Aug-15 13:05:15

It is... I have a grandma who is 94 and great uncle who is 91 and both still going strong! Yet some poor babies, children and young adults die early...
I suppose it's just life sad
Try not to over think about it as it can make you feel down.

pinktrufflechoc Sun 02-Aug-15 13:07:33

I know, but when there's illness I can understand it. Not like it - you know? But understand oh, she had cancer, he was hit by a car.

It's people who are just so perfectly healthy and alive but it's like it was just their time.

LilyMayViolet Sun 02-Aug-15 13:08:33

It's very difficult to rationalise, you can't really can you. Its a lot like fertility, some can conceive easily and may not even want to, others can't have any children at all and are desperate to be parents. It can seem very cruel.

Soundofsettling Sun 02-Aug-15 13:09:42

In the gentlest way, I think you just notice more when it's someone "abnormally" young, or closer to your age when they die. I think we also have a wider access social network than ten years ago say - so people who are acquaintances of acquaintances you here about, when previously you wouldn't have.

People are living longer more generally, but statistically there are no more younger deaths.

pinktrufflechoc Sun 02-Aug-15 13:10:07

I know; I haven't got a scientific mind either so i don't understand the literal 'well this happened' stuff.

Just can't get my head round it!

The80sweregreat Sun 02-Aug-15 13:10:32

No idea. My dad is 93 and he questions himself why he is still here! Bless him. Lucky to have good health.
My brothers very dear friend died at 63 this year and someone dh and i knew died last year, same age.
No rhyme or reason to life. Hard though sometimes. It does seem unfair.

Soundofsettling Sun 02-Aug-15 13:10:51

That brings little comfort, i'm so sorry for your loss.

pinktrufflechoc Sun 02-Aug-15 13:11:15

I know what you mean sound; I think it just hits me sometimes when I see dates of birth and some people born in the 19-teens and 20s are alive and well but others much younger aren't.

juneau Sun 02-Aug-15 13:14:02

It's people who are just so perfectly healthy and alive but it's like it was just their time.

Sorry, but that's nonsense - healthy people don't just drop dead for no reason. They die because they had something wrong that they didn't know about, like an undiagnosed heart problem, or they have a brain aneurism, which is basically there all along, ready to fell you without warning. With small children there is SIDS, meningitis, leukemia, etc. Sudden death is shocking and horrible and people feel polezed, because they weren't prepared for such an awful event to happen, but that doesn't mean that the person died for no reason. Its just that no one knew that the person was at risk of sudden death.

Caryam Sun 02-Aug-15 13:14:12

I know what you mean. I know a number of people who have lived very healthy lives, and still died young.

pinktrufflechoc Sun 02-Aug-15 13:15:13

People who would generally be considered to be fit and active june - don't be unpleasant, please; there's just no need for it.

UrethraFranklin1 Sun 02-Aug-15 13:23:24

It does seem to be the case that so many people are totally and completely healthy and then they die and are not often when they're quite young

No. They obviously aren't completely healthy or they wouldn't die. What you mean is they SEEM totally healthy to you but they actually have a heart defect you can't see or something else thats invisible.

People die. Bodies go wrong, have problems, bits break. It's not a mystery.

Caryam Sun 02-Aug-15 13:24:09

My MIL was very fit, ate healthy, had never been ill. She dropped dead in her early 60's. My FIL was always fat and ate unhealthily, and is doing well in his late 80's, in spite of a heart attack, heart failure, and diabetes.

parallax80 Sun 02-Aug-15 13:28:19

The science-y 'why' and the existential 'why'?

SandysMam Sun 02-Aug-15 13:28:30

Cilla Black died last night of natural causes at only 72. I think that seems so young to just die!! Try not to think about it too much OP, just enjoy life and don't sweat the small stuff!

pinktrufflechoc Sun 02-Aug-15 13:29:40

Yes, my dad died in his 60s and it was so so sudden.

I just don't feel like I'll ever understand it (please don't make biting comments about bodies breaking - I know, I know) - but I just can't fully understand how healthy and alive and real he was and never came home.

I understand my mum; she had cancer, people die of cancer, I get that. I just find my dad impossible! 4 years on and I still keep expecting him to walk through the door. Sorry, I know it's silly! Every time someone dies before their time I think how unfair but I also know someone dying in their 60s isn't that remarkable.

God I know what I mean!

ender Sun 02-Aug-15 13:29:56

People with diagnosed illnesses are usually closely monitored by Drs, regular bp checks, blood tests etc so abnormalities are picked up. Same if someone's survived a heart attack or a stroke.
Apparently healthy people could have all kinds of things wrong with them and not know about it.

juneau Sun 02-Aug-15 13:33:21

I'm not being unpleasant - I'm just calling you out for talking nonsense!

Otherwise healthy people die because something is wrong. Its just that no one KNEW that something was wrong. And yes, its horribly distressing and difficult to come to terms with. I'm not trying to diminish that.

SilverBirchWithout Sun 02-Aug-15 13:36:06

The point is everyone dies. There are a number of causes of death. For some you can reduce the risk a bit by choosing a healthy lifestyle, other causes can happen to anyone and are not as a result of your general health.

80sMum Sun 02-Aug-15 13:38:18

Longevity is greatly influenced by our genetic inheritance.

pinktrufflechoc Sun 02-Aug-15 13:39:42

June you could have said effectively the same thing without saying I was talking 'nonsense'; it was that I found unpleasant.

Great 80s, I've got about twenty five years left!

Caryam Sun 02-Aug-15 13:39:57

I know so many people who have died relatively young. It is why I never understand those on here who seem to assume they will live into their 80's or 90's.

pinktrufflechoc Sun 02-Aug-15 13:40:59

I think I might get to 70 if I'm lucky.

I'm not fussed about my pension put it that way.

UrethraFranklin1 Sun 02-Aug-15 13:41:44

You said something that was nonsense, someone merely pointed that out. Perhaps aibu was not the right place for you to post this.

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