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How stupid am I being new job, new town, home or no home

(53 Posts)
Idontknowjustsomething Sun 02-Aug-15 08:26:13

I started a new job last week in a new town.

I spent the last week sofa surfing my brother and a bedsit.

DH and the DD are still in our rental house in London.

We are totally skint until payday on the last day of August.

We are totally crap with money and because of Illness and unemployment and DH fucking up benefits we are now a month and a bit behind on rent.

We also have a shite credit reference. This is making it hard to rent somewhere in the new town.

I could do with some help sorting out what to do with this pickle.

DH want to just hand the jeys back to the Landlord, rock up in Poole, where my job is and throw himself and the DD's on the mercy of the housing people just to get a roof over our heads. We have one way train tickets but a friend has offered to drive us back to our place in London if DH gets no joy from the council Monday.

Everything about our situation is the worst possible. Rent arrears, no guarantor, no money, its a mess and I don't know what to do anymore

I don't think it's a good idea. Everything about our situation is making me feel sick.

My options feel very limited.

Go to job by myself sofa surf until welcome is worn out.

Go to job with family, throw ourselves on the mercy of the council.

Quit job in Poole find another job in London, save save save.

This is all stuff we should have done but DH suddenly list his Job in March and we've had difficulties since then. I did start a thread in chat a couple of weeks ago but I can't find it for some reason.


ThomasRichard Sun 02-Aug-15 08:30:23

Absolutely do not let your DH and DD leave the rented house. Your family will then be voluntarily homeless and not entitled to any help from the council. Call Shelter and they will be able to give you expert advice.

Also, many companies will give employees in this sort of circumstance a one-off advance on their salary. Swallow your pride and ask.

Spartans Sun 02-Aug-15 08:35:03

I may be wrong, but I would have thought that Poole council have no obligation to house dh and ds.

Because they are intentionally homeless and I don't think you can just rock up in a new area and they house you. Regardless of the situation.

You need to ask for an advance or wait until you get paid.

If you decide to go work in London, you shouldn't leave this job first. Start applying while you are still working.

feckitall Sun 02-Aug-15 08:40:10

Poole council have long housing lists...unless you have strong links here you won't get anything. There was a local paper article about a woman from outside area with newborn who wanted somewhere but was being told to return to her home county.

cakedcrusader Sun 02-Aug-15 08:41:40

I'm pretty sure most councils won't help until you've been in the area for at least 2 years and anyway you will be classed as intentionally homeless if you just leave.

Short term can you look into a house share just until you've managed to save a bit of money and get your credit rating back on track?

feckitall Sun 02-Aug-15 08:42:40

DS is on the list in Poole...3 DC cramped flat..could be up to 7 yr wait...

hookedonamoonagedaydream Sun 02-Aug-15 08:47:33

I remember your original thread OP. I remember your DH was just desperate to get away from London. He needs to stay houses though imo, did you talk to your LL about the rent arrears?

CAB and shelter could be a place to start.

LIZS Sun 02-Aug-15 08:50:24

No the council won't house them. If he has been out of work since March what has he done towards planning your move. Is he signing on , have you given notice on the property on London, do you get HB etc. Will you have earned enough to pay the arrears back at the end of the month? ll can't take action immediately for non payment, it takes a few months.

Idontknowjustsomething Sun 02-Aug-15 08:54:45

Thanks I will ask for advance and I have spoken with shelter
I saw that in the Bournemouth Echo last week

Yep; its the Intentionally homeless bit that scares me shitless, flakey hubby and two DD's under 10.

My feeling is sofa surf (again), yes I guess seeing about a house share. Ask my employer for help and then hope.

It's the finding a place without guarantor, with rent arrears and shot credit history that is the killer.

So bottom line what I'm hearing from everyone is don't let DH walk out of out London home just on the off chance that the council may help. But given that we will make out situation worse by becoming intentionally homeless will make the council a lot less likely to help.

Does that sum it up?

pinktrufflechoc Sun 02-Aug-15 08:54:49

Have you tried gumtree?

Idontknowjustsomething Sun 02-Aug-15 08:58:38


I've talked to LL it was a a bit vauge but we have a standing two week notice period I 've arranged with him, plus a vague offer to write off our areas the sooner we get out, Shelter told me that that was a but if a dodgy thing for him to say.

Georgethesecond Sun 02-Aug-15 08:58:38

It's not just being intentionally homeless that would be the problem, though that would be fatal to a housing application on its own - it's the fact that you have been living in London. Poole (or whichever council it is) will have no duty to house you as you have no local connection. So they won't help you at all.

You need to focus on a way to find private rented accommodation in Poole. Will anyone lend you money?

Becca19962014 Sun 02-Aug-15 08:59:26

The original thread is still available, I found it via an advanced search of your user name its here

I had a look because your post is similar to another I posted on a few days ago (though it isn't the same one).

Georgethesecond Sun 02-Aug-15 09:00:52

What the council may be able to do for you is give you a list of LL that accept HB locally.

Georgethesecond Sun 02-Aug-15 09:05:06

I've known people get long term caravan accommodation when they are skint, at least until the sites close in around October, could that work?

RepeatAdNauseum Sun 02-Aug-15 09:06:19

If you're found to be intentionally homeless, that kills your application dead, the council then have no legal obligation to house you. If you've got young DDs and nowhere to stay, they may take the DDs into foster care until you've got somewhere lined up.

You're going to need to look up the local connection rules in Poole too. Does you having a job there qualify you, or do you need to have been there for a few years or have strong family links there?

The council may have a deposit and rent scheme, but usually this is a bond rather than actual cash, so it can be difficult to find someone who will accept it.

Is DH doing anything to bring in money at the moment? Signing on? Looking for temp work even just for a few days at a time? He cannot just leave, regardless of how much he hates London. He needs to do his part in sorting this out.

When you get paid at the end of August, will you have enough money for rent and a deposit then?

Becca19962014 Sun 02-Aug-15 09:06:53

The council definitely won't help, sorry to sound blunt but there is no 'off chance'. According to their website here they do a 'housing options interview' and that might be helpful to you in your situation.

woowoo22 Sun 02-Aug-15 09:08:23

Stay away from all estate agencies/letting agents and use gumtree/paper/fb to find a new place.

What is H doing to find work himself?

Idontknowjustsomething Sun 02-Aug-15 09:16:07


I grew up in Poole, my extended family is still as in the Christchurch/Bournemouth/Poole area - just been out of the area for 15 years.

Becca19.... Thanks for finding my original, my gut feeling is that DH's plan was wrong, I have to admit that I was at 6&7's over it and ended up saying get a ticket and try.

As to all our attempts at finding somewhere we've been clueless, I've focused on getting and keeping new job and haven't done much other than talk to a few letting agents and I don't have the money for their fees etc. Last year when we tried to find a new place we got stiffed in agency fees only to fail the credit check so this time I'm really cautious.

Thanks all for your sound advice

Spartans Sun 02-Aug-15 09:22:20

Is your poor credit just down to the rent arrears? Or other things? Are you in a lot of debt?

I not sure how much they value family links to an area of you have been moved out so long. Can you call Poole council and discuss it with them?

You and you dh really need to start acting. I know it's hard in a new job, but it sounds like you have both floated along for a while. You both need to step up and sort this.

Spartans Sun 02-Aug-15 09:24:26

And what about the kids schools?

Can you just rock up and get them into a primary school?

Around here they are full. In our council area 90 kids didn't get any of their (5) choices and had been allocated schools a few hours drive. You may not be able to get both kids in the same school. What happens of it's two school runs an hour away from eachother?

Becca19962014 Sun 02-Aug-15 09:24:52

If I was you I'd try the housing options interview - theres contact information on their website which I linked, they should be able to advise on places that will accept housing benefit and organisations that might be able to help you to find somewhere.

I don't know if the original thread was helpful to you or not but thought it might help others giving you advice, I can't really think of anything other than what others have suggested and the housing options interview Poole council offer.

LIZS Sun 02-Aug-15 09:25:45

Read your other thread. Tbh returning to London doesn't sound like a viable option. If it were that easy you and possibly dh would be working there already rates than in the current situation. If he has stress/depression issues he may qualify for esa rather than JSA but he is going to have to accept the potentially intrusive assessment process. Taking against authority is not helpful.

I also wouldn't assume that ll's offer to negotiate terms and write off arrears is going to work out. Legally he could pursue you for much more , did you pay a deposit and any rent in advance?

Elasticelizabeth Sun 02-Aug-15 09:26:50

I work in a LA homeless team although not in Poole.

If you presented to us with the situation you have described on here we would find you intentionally homeless and discharge all duty to house you. If you maintained you had nowhere to sleep with children we would refer you to social services. At best they would put you all up in a hostel/band b at worst they would use emergency foster care for your children, they have no responsibility to house you or your partner.

If you are working then you will have to pay for any temporary accommodation provided which is very expensive.

Please think this through. It will only take the investigating officer one phone call to your previous landlord to discover you left voluntarily.

Good luck with the new job I hope it all works out for you.

Idontknowjustsomething Sun 02-Aug-15 09:47:52


Thank you what you've just said is what I was trying to explain to DH.

We don't have much debt 2k in rent arrears but poor credit history from paying off debts and a dispute because someone fraudulently used us as a guarantor.

I don't want the kids to go into the care system at all which is why I'm asking so many questions.

It may look like we're floating around but we're trying hard with finding a place but lack of money for rent and deposits and credit reference and everything else keeps knocking us back, which makes DH more depressed and me nag more.

It just feels so damn difficult because it feels like its only money that solves problems and no authority or agency gives a stuff.

I know I've just whinged and I'm sorry. But our problem feels overwhelming

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