To ask MIL to keep terriers away from 6 month old?(21 Posts)
Just that really.
MIL has two Jack Russell terriers and wants to look after DS at her home. She thinks I'm suffering from precious first born syndrome and overreacting, she knows her dogs etc, but says she won't leave DS unsupervised with them - but I worry that something happens (doorbell goes etc) and they end up alone with him long enough to harm him - DS is 6 months old.
AIBU to ask that since she'll only be looking after DS for a couple of hours that she actually shuts them in their crate while he's there?
Shut in crate seems ott, out in the garden?
YANBU and unless she promises and you believe her don't risk it. The risk that they will see your DS as an intruder on their space is just too great.
There was some poor poster just last weekend whose eight month old had to go to hospital after being bitten on the head by her MiL's dog while the baby was in MiL's care. MiL had always refused to keep the dog away from the baby seeing no need to worry.
No dog, no matter how lovely, can be totally relied on to be ok around a baby in their home, and you have no idea yet if they'll be jealous of the baby or annoyed by it if they get accidentally whacked, poked or pulled by a baby. Point out to MiL she needs to protect her dogs as much as her gc, and how awful things will be if the unthinkable happens. Can you be sure too that she will not let the dogs out once you're gone? Are baby gates a possibility so the dogs aren't in the room with the baby?
I think it would be fine to ask her to ensure they are never unsupervised, but it would probably be possible to lock them in the kitchen or another room maybe using a baby gate. Also if she is there and supervising carefully the dogs can come out. It would be useful if the baby is going to stay with her regularly to train them to go in the kitchen if necessary, also it would be good when your baby is more mobile to be able to shut off the kitchen so the baby can't go in (and get all the pans out).
I had a dog and baby at the same time no problems at all.
You could just suggest she takes your ds to the door etc with her when she answers the door, or put the dogs in the kitchen if she needs to leave the room etc. I have a newborn I also have a chihuahua x jack Russell my dog is a little geek and wouldn't hurt a fly BUT as much as I trust her I don't leave her alone with my baby. A dog is a dog and you just never know, l
Plus jacks haven't had very good press when it comes to babies. So yanbu I wouldn't be letting her have him until you know for sure he won't be left.
I have spoken to her about it and she says she won't leave them unsupervised but I worry about whether my idea of unsupervised and hers are the same - I think one of the things that worries me is that she really isn't concerned, and therefore would she even be thinking about it when she goes to the next room for something? If she even acknowledged that dogs are a risk I would be a lot happier about it.
Really I just won dent rust her to keep your DC safe by the sounds of things.
I think you are well aware that your/her ideas of supervision are probably different. What about when she goes to the loo, hangs out the washing?
I love dogs and am not hysterical about dogs/babies but you just can't be sure.
Sometimes dogs of older people aren't always well socialised, "set in their ways" you could say. They will not always be used to young children or crying babies.
She could easily install stairgates to make sure that the dogs can't get into the same room. Really not a big deal to do and you could encourage her by saying it will be useful when the baby is toddling about at a later date.
This is entirely unscientific, but over the years I have a strong impression of dog attacks so often happening in the GPs' homes, certainly most attacks are in the homes of people known to the child, e.g. parents, GPs, relations and friends.
The fact that your MIL does not see the potential problem IS a problem. I wouldn't do it.
My mum used to muzzle her Yorkshire terrier with a fabric muzzle when ds was little and in the same room. Mil had a baby gate for the kitchen door too keep them in. Do you think she would consider either of those options?
yanbu, i would not leave ds in thomat situation. Call her bluff. Yes, you are suffering from pfb syndrome, so unless the dog's are locked in another room, no baby! She can't say anything to that. just be sure you trust her to keep her word.
I don't think any dog should be left at all with a baby or child (I also have a dog and baby) the two of them were introduced while he was on a lead etc and everything fine but they aren't in the same room generally and never unsupervised, if you have any concern please don't leave them , it's not unreasonable its your baby and you just need to do what you think is best for them
My parents have a terrier and its an awful thing. I just don't know if I could trust them to supervise it enough. Its very stressful always keeping an eye out for it.
I know mumsnetters go on about their darling fur baby terriers and all dogs are the same etc.. But really terriers are the very worst to have around babies and toddlers. So yanbu
YABU to ask her to shut them away or out, I wouldn't do that with my dogs if I was looking after a baby (wouldn't dream of leaving them unsupervised either, not for a second).
However, YANBU to not leave your ds anywhere you feel he is not safe, that's up to you to decide.
I think yabu. Just say she can't have them if you're that uncomfortable. If you have no reason to suspect the dogs and she says she won't leave them unatended but you don't believe her then there's more going on here. Bottom line is, you don't trust MIL.
Personally I'd have no issues in your position but I trust MIL to look after my LO even with dogs around.
YANBU to ask her to ensure the dogs are physically separated from your DS, whether that's in a crate, or locked in a separate room with stairgate. I also know one woman who keeps her dog muzzled when it's around children, just in case.
If you feel that she can't be trusted to keep the dog separate then I wouldn't let her look after him in her house.
So not BU. My SIL has a dog my 14 month old has still not been in the same house as. No matter how good these animals are if you do not feel comfortable having your child near them that's your decision and you should not need to justify it.
Dogs don't need to bite to do harm to a baby, they can also accidentally smoother the baby too (as can cats) it happened to me as a baby. I was fine obviously but my mum got rid of her beloved dog because she was so upset by the incident, my nan was happy though as she got the dog
Thanks all, really helpful.
I am confident that if I stipulate the crate she will abide by my wishes and it doesn't leave any room for misinterpretation. I know it won't be the answer if she has him for longer than a couple of hours but it'll get us started.
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