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Boyfriend active on Tinder

(13 Posts)
Confusedlly Sat 01-Aug-15 20:46:47

Already posted on Relationships but reposting here for traffic

I think i'm in desperate need of some advice.

Boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, official for 8 months. We met on Tinder, when we first starting dating it was more of a casual thing and we both still had Tinder on our phones and would still use it. It was about two months into dating that he told me he uninstalled the Tinder app on his phone. On Tinder you can see when someone was last online and I could see he hadn't been on Tinder for a long time. I then uninstalled the app shortly before we became official.

Maybe 4ish months ago I reinstalled it so I can screenshot our conversations (for memories) which I told him about it. I looked at his profile and he hadn't been active since uninstalling it.

It was only last night at a friends house my friend and I got onto the topic of Tinder (friend is single and very much uses Tinder) She was showing me her conversations which were hilarious and we were mucking around sending guys silly messages on her account. I remembered some funny messages that I recieved when I used it so thought I'd show her, I logged into my account on her phone to show her. She then asked to see mine and my boyfriends conversation so I showed her that, but on his profile it said he had been active a month ago and he had added two recent photos, changed his profile picture and removed two older photos of him. Looking back at our text conversation from the day he was active he was telling me how happy he was and how much he loved me.
The thing is he's a really great guy and very honest, and I was active on Tinder too (very innocently though) but I didn't change my photo or add any new ones, I don't have any need to. I'm panicking but my friend insists there's probably an innocent reason as to why he was active (looking at old funny conversations like I was) but why the photo change? Is this really a big deal?
I'm away at the moment and have really crappy signal so it's not like I can just text or phone to ask him, I won't see him for a week. I don't want to come across as crazy but my minds going crazy at the moment and I can't relax. I could drive into town to ring/text him now, but am I overreacting? And what would I say? Any advice greatly appreciated

LokiBear Sat 01-Aug-15 20:49:40

I'd talk to him asap. He might have an explanation. He might not. either way, you will know for sure. Good luck x

ActiviaYoghurt Sat 01-Aug-15 21:13:56

If he doesn't know your friend then get her to chat him up and see what his response is?

Confusedlly Sat 01-Aug-15 21:19:33

You need to match with someone to chat, we tried to match with him but since he hasn't been active for a month we couldn't find him

Confusedlly Sat 01-Aug-15 23:09:42

I spoke to him and because of a misunderstanding last month he thought I was going to dump him and I was off with him for a few days (total misunderstanding on both parts) he reinstalled the app because he 'was sad' and wanted an ego boost, offered to show me the messages to prove he didn't do anything and now he's all i'm so sorry, you mean everything to me.... I don't know what to do

ScrambledEggAndToast Sat 01-Aug-15 23:18:12

OP, are you both really young?

You certainly sound it (not a bad thing) His explanation sounds extremely fishy to me. You two have a fall out and he goes straight back onto Tinder for an ego boost. Hmmm.... Not buying it I'm afraid. Sorry.

Confusedlly Sat 01-Aug-15 23:21:19

I'm 23 and he's 26, I know it all sounds so juvenile

Snooksbury Sat 01-Aug-15 23:22:19

Sounds like a plausible explanation, difficult to really get to the bottom of it since you are away for a week, I'd be inclined to believe him, or give the benefit of the doubt. Talk it through when you get home and get him to show you the messages. Maybe you need to have a conversation about communicating better in future to avoid misunderstandings. Worth giving a second chance I think

musicalbingo Sat 01-Aug-15 23:27:49

My initial thoughts weren't great but the update is pretty plausible.

If your relationship is otherwise good I wouldn't get too excited about it.

thecatsarecrazy Sat 01-Aug-15 23:37:05


thecatsarecrazy Sat 01-Aug-15 23:38:44

Sounds possible. When my dh and I were still only dating he did something similar. We have been together 10 years now.

AuntyMag10 Sun 02-Aug-15 01:05:08

So he immediately turns to tinder when he 'thought' you were going to break up with him hmm shows you his thinking right there.

Mermaidhair Sun 02-Aug-15 01:32:37

I woykd give him the benefit of the doubt in this situation. Especially because he hasn't been active for a month and he showed you everything. If you are both serious about this relationship I think you should both get rid of Tinder for good. No more logging on for anything.

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