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Am I being a shitty person/mum?

(41 Posts)
thegreenbackboogie Fri 31-Jul-15 19:14:31

DD's dad has come to spend the weekend with her (we broke up in March). We clash and bicker a lot, not a week goes by where we don't argue about something. He arrived today and within an hour he was being moody and arsey. I've had a shit week so thought fuck this I'm going out. So I'm meeting my friend for a drink once DD has gone to bed.

I can't help but feel guilty. He looked very surprised when I said I'm off out and has demanded I transfer 100 quid into his account, presumably because he thinks I'm loaded now I'm going out for a couple of drinks.


thegreenbackboogie Fri 31-Jul-15 19:15:33

She's 10 months by the way, not that it's relevant. Oh and excuse the foul language!

confusedandemployed Fri 31-Jul-15 19:15:56

Umm. Why should you give him £100? You're parenting his child.
And YANBU. Go out. Have fun.

PerspicaciaTick Fri 31-Jul-15 19:17:23

Why does he want money? He sounds like you are well rid.

Saltedcaramel2014 Fri 31-Jul-15 19:18:22

Of course YANU - sounds like a well deserved drink, enjoy it. What's the money thing about - why should he be getting money from you? Sounds like he is BU unless you have a specific financial set up

thegreenbackboogie Fri 31-Jul-15 19:18:43

Because he's skint. Not my problem!

Saltedcaramel2014 Fri 31-Jul-15 19:19:26

And don't feel guilty! Not for a minute. Your baby needs you to take time out and relax

Saltedcaramel2014 Fri 31-Jul-15 19:19:52

Twat. (Him)

whatsagoodusername Fri 31-Jul-15 19:20:21

Why on earth should you be giving him money because you are going out??? Because he's babysitting or something? If so, present him with your invoice at his going rate.

Yanbu. Going out sound like an ideal thing to do while he's there.

DelphiniumBlue Fri 31-Jul-15 19:20:51

Yanbu. In fact I think you are being very sensible to go out, and avoid more arguing. Makes sense for ypou to go out when he's there to look after his daughter.
But if he's asking you for money, ( shouldn't he be paying you?) he's clearly a dodgy type, and I would make sure that you don't leave anything around that he could "borrow" or sell.
What confused said - go out and have fun!

confusedandemployed Fri 31-Jul-15 19:21:14

What a wanker. I hope you told him to take a long walk off a short pier re the money. If he's lucky you could leave him a pizza to eat while you're down the pub.

FenellaFellorick Fri 31-Jul-15 19:22:22

He's demanded?

He realises he doesn't get to demand money, right?

I suppose he's planning to walk out, scuppering your night out if you don't pay him for caring for his own child, right?

Littlef00t Fri 31-Jul-15 20:21:12

You're feeling guilty for going out when your child is sleeping? And not giving someone money who you don't owe money?

Ummm, I'm worried you're questioning yourself!

Only1scoop Fri 31-Jul-15 20:26:06

Ugh.... he comes and stays and asks you for money.

Blimey are well shut of that drain.

Betty2012 Fri 31-Jul-15 20:32:46

What's it got to do with him you going out anyway?!

The5DayChicken Fri 31-Jul-15 20:39:23

What a dick. You're no longer in a relationship with him so his money worries are only your problem inasmuch as it impacts his maintenance payments.

Neednewflowers Fri 31-Jul-15 20:44:19

Can't he see DD away from you so you're not arguing in front of her?

thegreenbackboogie Fri 31-Jul-15 23:25:28

Well, I went out at 8.30 and got home about half an hour ago. He called me to say she was upset, I rushed home and she's perfectly fine! So annoyed sad

Happy36 Fri 31-Jul-15 23:28:06

You are being perfectly reasonable. Ignore him.

The5DayChicken Sat 01-Aug-15 00:15:53

How frustrating OP. Did he say what was supposedly wrong with her? And as her parent, should he not have been able to deal with it himself anyway?

thegreenbackboogie Sat 01-Aug-15 00:31:07

He didn't give me a specific reason but I have a feeling he was just wanting to interrupt my night and make me feel guilty. He certainly should be able to deal with whatever happens himself but he doesn't seem to be able to. Oh well, at least dd is OK.

SurlyCue Sat 01-Aug-15 00:37:01

Are you the poster whose ex left a cheque at your house "accidently" and asked you to lodge it for his rent payment? And then blamed you for him missing his rent.

Topseyt Sat 01-Aug-15 01:38:03

He sounds like a dick. Do you really have to allow him to stay? I'd be very reluctant on that.

Fatmomma99 Sat 01-Aug-15 01:41:40

It's hard, isn't it - the balance between letting children know and build a relationship with their birth parents, and how crap they are!

Please don't give him any money!

AcrossthePond55 Sat 01-Aug-15 03:51:32

Umm, I think I'd tell him in future that he can find his own accommodations when he comes to see DD.

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