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Wedding invite, Bali

(146 Posts)
LondonLady29 Thu 30-Jul-15 21:38:54

A few weeks ago DP told me one of his friends (who one year ago emigrated to Australia) is getting married in Bali next summer and we are invited. We started planning a holiday. Yesterday the invite came with only DPs name on, no mention of me so I told him I'm not invited. He said he was sure if been mentioned in a text before and today checked with the groom who said I was invited to the evening do only not the main wedding.

So the couple expect us to travel to Bali and I hang around alone all day there (I won't know anyone else going), and DP will be at the wedding and I'll show up on the evening. I think it's the height of rudeness and I'm astounded at how crass this is. IMO it's worse than no invite. What does everyone else think?

takemetomars Thu 30-Jul-15 21:40:40

agree, crass. Tell them to sod off!

Floralnomad Thu 30-Jul-15 21:40:53

Well we wouldn't be going that's for sure - very rude .

ReluctantCamper Thu 30-Jul-15 21:41:21

Rude, rude, rude. I would not be going. DH would of course be free to go alone, but we had damn well better have a holiday together too.

Yambabe Thu 30-Jul-15 21:41:29

I think a few hours alone on one day during a lovely holiday with your DP is not the end of the world. Take a book or something, or have a pamper session so you look amazing for the evening do!

LemonPied Thu 30-Jul-15 21:41:48

I think that they could get to fuck if they did that to me.

mrschatty Thu 30-Jul-15 21:42:07

Imo this is shocking. I got married abroad...true stayed in Europe. ..but I'd never DREAM of having invited someone to travel to my wedding to only enjoy half the day. I think it's bad for Tbh.

Jewels234 Thu 30-Jul-15 21:43:39

That's unbelievably rude of them. I think that it is incredibly unwelcoming. I wouldn't want to go and YWNBU not to go on the back of that.

The only thing that would make it even vaguely acceptable is if they are having a really small wedding (i.e. only family) so everyone else would just be there for the party.

Tinandgonic Thu 30-Jul-15 21:43:44

Tell your DP's friend to piss right off

SisterMoonshine Thu 30-Jul-15 21:44:20

I can see that hanging around in Bali could be tough......

SamVJ888 Thu 30-Jul-15 21:44:24

Very rude but go and enjoy Bali, it's the most beautiful place on earth with the friendliest people smile

amothersplaceisinthewrong Thu 30-Jul-15 21:45:13

IMHO it is the height of rudeness to invite one half of a couple and not the other half. I would go and I would be asking DH not to.

Ubik1 Thu 30-Jul-15 21:47:00

No that's very rude.

But, hey it's Bali. I would rise above it and spend the day pleasing myself.
Don't get drawn into the other wedding shite though. Make sure you both have a fab holiday too.

AboutTimeIChangedMyNameAgain Thu 30-Jul-15 21:47:00

They are taking the piss!

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 30-Jul-15 21:47:24

Yes, it's very rude. I'm not sure whether I'd still plan to go ahead with the trip or not.

ReggaeShark Thu 30-Jul-15 21:48:43

So.. they invite a UK resident to a wedding in Bali (huge air fare) but only to the evening do? Regardless of whether your DP is invited to the whole thing or not, just NO.

SnapesCapes Thu 30-Jul-15 21:49:28

I'd still go to Bali, but would probably still refuse to attend the wedding because I'm a petulant child.

No, I'd go, I'd happily spend a day on a beach drinking cocktails and reading. And be far too pissed-up to go to the night do anyway.

PtolemysNeedle Thu 30-Jul-15 21:51:33

That is disgustingly rude.

If you just happen to fancy a holiday in Bali at the time of the wedding, then your DH could ditch the daytime part of the wedding and you could both go in the evening. But in your position, I think I'd choose somewhere else to go.

Cynara Thu 30-Jul-15 21:54:59

That's incredibly rude. I almost want to say you must have got the wrong end of the stick, because it's hard to believe that they've said that, but clearly you haven't because you've checked. So YANBU. At all.

SinglePringle Thu 30-Jul-15 21:55:57

I'm not normally one for 'you must invite both parts of a couple' to a wedding but when it's abroad?! And seriously so? Spectacularly rude.

Fly to Bali, be part of the build up - at the very least, the day and night before - yet not be part of 'the gang'?! Fuck the fuck off.

Height of ill mannered behaviour. And why? Weddings abroad are more relaxed, less expensive and made way more inclusive by the hotel; there's always been room for late arrivals in my experience (been to three), so surely a 'plus one' can be accommodated?

ShiftyFades Thu 30-Jul-15 22:00:03

I think that's awful. How on earth can you be expected to fly all that way and only go to the evening do and your DH goes to the whole day?! I'm gobsmacked.

I'd go to Bali, have a super time, and make sure your return flight is the day before the wedding wink

twofalls Thu 30-Jul-15 22:03:56

The rudeness of some people is utterly astounding.

JackSkellington Thu 30-Jul-15 22:05:43

It would be okay if the wedding was nearby, or even in the same country, but when you're travelling that far then it isn't very fair. Although we invited husbands/wives/long-term partners to our wedding, even if we didn't know them very well.

TRexingInAsda Thu 30-Jul-15 22:10:25

They've invited you to the evening do - in fucking BALI?!!! The cheeky fucking bastards!! Obviously you both need to tell them to get to fuck! WTF is wrong with people?

ancientbuchanan Thu 30-Jul-15 22:11:04

Shatteringly rude.

If it is going to cause a serious row between your DP and you, though, go, book yourself all the massages etc that you want while they are passing around, and demand a) another week there with him or b) somewhere else lovely. He can't help their wankerdom.

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