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To wish that kids and dp would pick after themselves

(31 Posts)
wheresthelight Thu 30-Jul-15 20:33:26

I cannot be the only one who gets thoroughly pissed off with the fact that it does not occur to anyone else in the house to pick up their crap and put it away or in the bin?!

Example 1
Dsd has made herself a drink, left the squash bottle on the side rather than put it in the cupboard right next to her. She has spilt some and just walked off and left it and then left her empty glass on the side rather than move 2 feet to put it in the bloody dishwasher

Example 2
Dp has brought the shopping out the car and just dumped it in the hall rather than walk the extra 5 feet to the kitchen. I have left it there for and hour before getting posses off and putting it away

Example 3
We have a shoe rack in the cupboard but rather than open the door dsd, dss and do have just dumped their shoes in the hall. Upon being yelled at asked to put them away they have opened the door and just lobbed them in rather than move dd's changing back to put them on the empty shelf

This is all this evening

Dss is 12 on Sunday, dsd is nearly 10 and dp is nearly 40

Please someone tell me they will eventually grow up

DoreenLethal Thu 30-Jul-15 20:34:58

Isn't it your job to teach them that they need to pick up after themselves? And your DP needs to finish the jobs he starts.

wheresthelight Thu 30-Jul-15 20:36:52

Why is it my job? I am not their bloody parent!!

Why should I be expected to pick up after them? They are all more than capable

cleanmyhouse Thu 30-Jul-15 20:54:55

In coming in 3...2...1

I'd run if i were you.

Kayden Thu 30-Jul-15 21:09:15

You have to stand your ground and leave the stuff where they dumped it.

Wolfiefan Thu 30-Jul-15 21:11:25

I call mine back in to sort it if they leave the kitchen a state or dump shoes. They soon decide it is quicker to do it in the first place.

Gymbob Thu 30-Jul-15 21:15:41

well my dd's do it, and I am their parent! I call them back to put the shoes away that they've lobbed in the general direction of the shoe rack. I live in eternal hope that if I call them back every time they will just do it the first time. But no. Every time they do it.

other things they do that piss me off?

leave their bedroom lights on.
leave their underwear on the floor.
try to leave their plates on the side.
leave towels on the floor.
don't bother to open their curtains.
leave hairs in the bath.
leave water on the bathroom floor.
put empty milk cartons back in the fridge.
throw away stuff that should be recycled.
I will be here all night if I go on.

yes we live with a lazy lot don't we OP grin

wheresthelight Thu 30-Jul-15 22:48:29

Haha gymbob pants on the bathroom floor when the sodding washing basket is on the landing really makes my teeth itch!!

I adore dp and the kids but Christ alive they drive me to the very edge of my sanity with how damn lazy they are!

Other bugbears include;
Never changing the loo roll
Picking up the dog poop on the garden and then leaving a pile of bags on the drive rather than walk round the corner to the bin
Using the grill and never washing it up
Toast crumbs bloody everywhere

Please tell me these are acceptable grounds for murder!

gringringringrin

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 30-Jul-15 23:02:55

No murder but a family meeting. Expectations agreed and consequences. I think throwing away shoes, toys, anything left around. If people leave juice, shopping etc. lying around, one word should be all it takes, "squash" or "shopping".

With a grown man, I would be telling him it was lazy, hurtful, ugly and careless and if ask he wanted me to think those things about him...

reni1 Thu 30-Jul-15 23:05:58

Agree with Wolfiefan, call them back to do it right, it will eventually work. Be calm and factual, no nagging or accusing. You need to call them EVERY TIME, so that doing it is without a fail faster than not doing it.

hmc Thu 30-Jul-15 23:17:18

Oh God, this is the story of my life. Hurrah for the posters with steely resolve who take a determined stand on this with their dc and dh/dp and WILL NOT TOLERATE IT! In real life most of us have tried resistance, given it up for a bad job and have resigned ourselves to our sorry fate. I remind myself that when I am old and lonely I will wish their clutter was strewn everywhere like it used to be

BackforGood Thu 30-Jul-15 23:25:17

Same as hmc here.

Love the fact that some posters think that it's not occurred to us to ask/tell them to put stuff away. hmm

wheresthelight Thu 30-Jul-15 23:25:25

Haha hmc I was thinking the same thing!

Unfortunately by insisting my step kids step up I am the evil witch from hell according to their mother who still lays out clothes for them and believes children should not be told no.

Dp on the other hand is the product of his mother. She died 2 years ago at 80 And was a fabulous lady but she fetched and carried for everything. She was set in her generation and believed strongly that it was her place to do everything. Unfortunately she has raised a home idle got who I love dearly but moulding him into a sled sufficient adult is bloody hard work grin

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 30-Jul-15 23:32:48

You don't live with their DM wheresthelight so no need to listen to a word of that nonsense. IME kids are great at knowing the different rules for different homes.

It's not about asking/telling. Getting everyone on the same page and working together is important. One person shouldn't be scivying for all the others. Or you get another generation of 'bone idle' people.

wheresthelight Thu 30-Jul-15 23:40:17

Oh I hear you mrsterrypratchet!! But when dp is terrified because em she threatens to stop contact over the most ridiculous things I am fighting a losing battle.

I am and I quote "a pathetic immature child" because I refused to do any washing for dss until he tidied his room. He refused to do it, I didn't wash a thing of his for over 6 weeks. He got the message and he tidied his room but she went on the rampage!

catzpyjamas Thu 30-Jul-15 23:43:43

You are living my life, right down to the DSS who lives in squalor.
YANBU flowers

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 30-Jul-15 23:47:32

What a nightmare. I find humour works well with the younger ones. Might work with DSD if not DSS.

I do think fighting only the important battles is important. Untidy room; who cares, close the door. Leaving the shopping in the kitchen for the 'staff' to put away; very serious.

wheresthelight Thu 30-Jul-15 23:55:56

You are right about battles and humour. I just took the mick about not having changed his underwear and me being on strike. His door gets shut when he isn't he real I just ignore it! When he has nothing to wear he gets the message!!

Dsd isn't usually as bad but she has had 10 days with her mum so has got lazy! A few days here and she will revert to form!

wheresthelight Fri 31-Jul-15 16:14:20

Am so cross have come upstairs before I lose it.

Been at work all day, do home with his kids. House is a fucking tip, none of the jobs have been done, every fucking pot they have used today is all I've the bloody kitchen. The lazy fuckwit hasn't even opened the bloody curtains.

Instead they have been out on a bike ride. Now on principal I have no issue with this but I specifically asked him to do 4 jobs for me this morning as we are going away early doors tomorrow to a family wedding (3-4 hour drive inc m25) and I needed them done to free me up to pack etc this evening. But not one of them has been done.

I am so fed up with living with a bloody manchild. I left my husband because I got fed up of being a housemaid not an equal partner and now dp appears to be turning into the same bloody thing.

LazyLouLou Fri 31-Jul-15 16:19:10

Take a few minutes to calm down then call him upstairs and read him the riot act.

Actually, no, stay angry and CRY AT HIM.

If he is going to stick to his own little stereotype, grab yours and hurl it at him - with knobs on!

wheresthelight Fri 31-Jul-15 16:29:20

Loulou if I thought for even a second that it would help o would do both.

Unfortunately I will get the age old jealous of him spending time with the kids, ruining his day etc spew hand I don't have the energy to listen. I will wait tol his kids go back to their mum later and then raise the bloody roof.

In fact I might pack everything for me and dad and tell the lazy fucker he can have the weekend to himself because if he can't be bothered to help I can't be bothered to be his girlfriend/partner/ski by

wheresthelight Fri 31-Jul-15 16:30:08

Spew hand = speech and

maninawomansworld Fri 31-Jul-15 16:34:41

Actually, no, stay angry and CRY AT HIM.

Best advice ever! As a man I can tell you that nothing makes men more uncomfortable than a crying, hysterical woman. Obviously we are not all the same but if I were your DP this is the thing that would most likely work on me.

As for the kids... every time they do something like this just take them back to the scene of the crime and make them clear up.
If they don't do it to your satisfaction then make them do it again. So using your shoe cupboard example, I would have gone to the cupboard where they had lobbed the shoes in, pulled them all out over the floor again and made them do it properly - as many times as it takes for them to get it right.
If a load of mud also happened to fall out over the floor when I pulled the shoes back out then I'd make them hover that room too. Might make them think twice next time.

Just like training a dog - don't get angry - just make the re do the task as many times as it takes for them to learn to just do it correctly in the first place.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 31-Jul-15 16:38:03

I would leave him to it. Tell him he had enough time to do the jobs but clearly decided to do them this weekend instead.

Have you tried the communication method; when x happens, I feel y, please do z?

"DH, when I come home to dirty dishes, I feel angry. If you cook, please clean the dishes."

LazyLouLou Fri 31-Jul-15 16:43:46

Oh, I think spew hand was probably a great phrase to explain how angry you are smile

You may well have to have a sit down and think about how much longer you will put up with this. His usual response doesn't fill me with much hope that you will feel like putting in a lot more effort.

Depending upon your circumstances ruining his day might turn out to be quite a freeing experience... possibly?

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