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AIBU?

To feel extremely worried and rather ticked off about this?......

125 replies

EmiliaJ · 29/07/2015 20:30

Basically my daughter who is age 10 (11 in September) is due to go into year 6 at an outstanding catholic school. She previously attended a non Catholic primary due to us losing our appeal, but a place became available when she was two weeks into starting year 3, and as we had always wanted her at this school, which just so happens to be the feeder school to the only outstanding Catholic secondary in our borough we decided to move her there. She's since never looked back, has an amazing friendship group, has come on in her education more than we could have ever expected etc and we are all really happy.

Like I said we hoped she will go onto the feeder secondary school and up until now she has been considered top priority along with most of her other classmates ie baptised Catholic who lives within one of the named parishes AND has attended a Catholic primary school. But we have now been informed (2 weeks ago!) that the secondary school has changed it's criteria frok 2016 onwards and they are no longer stipulating that for a child to be high up the criteria they must have attended Catholic primary. So basically now as long as a child is baptiseD Catholic and they live within one of the six parishes (ours is 3rd closest to the school) then they will likely gain a place. I can't help but worry now as this means my dd will be fighting for a place whereas before they changed the criteria she would have got in no problem. So Aibu to br worried and am I overreacting? I mean realistically how many children who have not attended Catholic primary will actually want to go to a Catholic secondary?......

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swallowed · 29/07/2015 20:32

YANBU to be worried but what do you want to do about it?

I mean, are you just posting because you're worried, in which case fair enough, or do you want something to happen?

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SaucyJack · 29/07/2015 20:33

YANBU to be worried, but YABU to be ticked off that other children will have an equally good chance as your daughter at getting into the Catholic High.

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Getthewonderwebout · 29/07/2015 20:33

There was a thread a while back about this - someone in the same situation. I'm no help but the thread might be of use to you

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Scarydinosaurs · 29/07/2015 20:35

Isn't church attendance the most important factor in this? Is that not even on the criteria??

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Nydj · 29/07/2015 20:36

Erm, when you didn't get a place for her at the Catholic primary school, wasn't your daughter one of the children who had not attended a catholic primary school but wanted to go to a catholic secondary school?

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EmiliaJ · 29/07/2015 20:40

Well it's not that I'm ticked off at other children having a better chance at getting into the school but we moved out dd to the main feeder school and uprooted her and one of the reasons for this was so that she would stand a better chance at getting into the secondary school. We do live around 1.5 miles away from the school but we are Catholic and we attend mass weekly so the thought of her missing out on a place at the only school we feel is suitable for her is to be honest quite gutting.

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swallowed · 29/07/2015 20:43

You win some you lose some.

Rules can change.

What do you want to happen?

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BeCarefulWithThat · 29/07/2015 20:45

But you didn't uproot her unwillingly - you have said that she has blossomed at the catholic primary. You didn't sacrifice a place at a better school just to get her into this feeder school.

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anothermakesthree · 29/07/2015 20:46

All those children who didn't get into the Catholic primary (like yourselves) presumably will want the Catholic secondary.

As I said on the previous (almost identical) thread, perhaps it is fairer that those children who have been unable to benefit (if that is the perception) from a Catholic primary education, should be on an equal footing to have the opportunity of a secondary Catholic education?

After all, if that place had not come up in year three for you, perhaps you would be celebrating this change?

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PtolemysNeedle · 29/07/2015 20:50

YANBU, but it's a very common worry so at least you aren't alone.

As much as it must be a worry for you, it is likely to be a relief for other parents who want this school but who couldn't get a catholic primary school place for their child.

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PumpkinPie2013 · 29/07/2015 20:51

I think it's fairer to all if admissions to the secondary school is not based on which primary school children have attended as they may not have a choice due to where they live/oversubscription.

You initially didn't get a place for your dd at the Catholic Primary so would have been at a disadvantage had a place not become available later on. Now your dd has a place, she would have been at an advantage under the 'old' system whereas now, things will hopefully be fairer to everyone.

If your in the 3rd closet parish and she is a baptised Catholic then you should be in with a good chance - does church attendance come into it?

My ds is only a toddler but as things stand, I would like him to go to the local C of E high school. They don't require children to have attended a C of E primary - it's all based on church attendance. I'm glad about this as because primary allocations here are done purely on where you live, my DS is very unlikely to be able to go to a C of E primary (although I'll try for a place ). He will most likely attend the excellent non faith school in our village. I'd be quite upset if that meant he had less chance of going to the secondary school I'd like him to go to purely because I live in area A rather than area B.

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PumpkinPie2013 · 29/07/2015 20:52

'Are' not 'is'!

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EmiliaJ · 29/07/2015 20:53

Yes I understand what you're saying but I do think that a lot of parents who deliberately chose not to opt for catholic primary (for whatever reason) will now opt for the Catholic secondary as it is an amazing school and I don't see how that's fair. Despite my daughter not getting into Catholic primary initially we still continued to attend church as we always have and she made her first holy communion as we expected she would and I can't help feel that a lot of non believers who just get their child baptised because "it's what you do" will gain a place for their child over my child who is a genuine believer and that is what has ticked me off!

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Spartans · 29/07/2015 20:56

I am pretty sure you posted about this before, you also have an older son? Who didn't go to the Catholic school?

Not saying you should post, but you will get similar responses to last time.

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EmiliaJ · 29/07/2015 20:58

Ok grammar police, sorry! And no, church attendance quite surprisingly does not come into it for Catholic schools round where we live, this only applies to C of E schools, if it did come down to church attendance then believe you me, we would most certainly secure a place or my dd and not many other children would as 80% of the kids in my dd's year and their families, do not attend church.

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swallowed · 29/07/2015 20:59

But they will have to be baptised catholic and there aren't many "unbelievers" who would have bothered to get baptised.

So it'll be someone who is baptised catholic, but doesn't go to the Catholic primary, ie didn't get a place.

If there are more believers than there are places at Catholic primary, then it seems fair to me. Otherwise you win the lottery twice, with a limited place at the primary, and then first dibs on the secondary.

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EmiliaJ · 29/07/2015 20:59

Erm no, I have a 10 year old dd and a 4 year old ds, so you must be thinking of someone else.

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Spartans · 29/07/2015 21:00

Oh sorry OP, someone has posted pretty much the same thread, only with an older ds. Will find it and see if it helps

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EmiliaJ · 29/07/2015 21:01

Well I certainly know of people who aren't religious but who chosen to have their children baptised in order to increase their chances of getting into the best schools in the borough.

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EmiliaJ · 29/07/2015 21:02

No worries.

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Nydj · 29/07/2015 21:05

Seeing as those parents taxes probably contributed to the Catholic school, in my opinion, they have every right to apply for their child to go to 'the best schools in the boroughs'.

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Lurkedforever1 · 29/07/2015 21:05

Yanbu to want your child to get a place, or to have the very normal and natural instinct to want a system that favours your own child.
However if I, as an athiest had any chance at my nearest catholic school, I would have been listing it first, due to it being one of the few nearby decent schools. And if she'd got a place over a baptised catholic, I wouldn't sympathise on account of their religious need, I'd sympathise in the same way I would if any child doesn't get their first choice.
Plus round here it's always been the case Catholic primaries are oversubscribed, so was previously very unfair on those that didn't get in.

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Nydj · 29/07/2015 21:06

What's unfair is that children whose parents are not Catholic have a lower chance of getting the best available education.

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TheRealAmyLee · 29/07/2015 21:11

Swallowed. You would be amazed. Huge numbers of people get their kids baptized and never go back to the church (unless they are getting married) It is a massive pet peeve of mine.

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EmiliaJ · 29/07/2015 21:12

Oh don't give me that. It just so happens that i was raised Catholic (I obviously had no choice in that when I was young) and I felt a comfort in the school I attended, also a catholic school but at the time, not one of the "best" in the borough, and now with my children it just so happens that the best schools in the borough are faith schools, that's not there's or my fault!

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