DS4 (aged 2) has 6 consultants (ent, eyes, neuro, plastic surgeon, genetics and general paediatrician). Most of them we know. The paediatrician we know extremely well (first name terms, will chat to us if she sees us in the corridor, came to see me in HDU when I had ds5 etc). The neurosurgeon we have never met, just 2 of his registrars and an sho. It's looking more likely that DS4 will need major brain surgery at some point in the next couple of years. The general paed has been keeping him stable with minor procedures under ga in the hope that this will be enough but it's not looking great at the moment.
If he needs this operation I want to actually meet the neurosurgeon and discuss the pros and cons before agreeing to DS4 having the operation. DH thinks I'm being ridiculous and the quick "here's the consent form, any questions?" chat you get just before the operation is fine. Maybe I'm just being precious but all the elective surgery me or my children have had has been done by someone we know, not a stranger. This man has never met us or DS4.
AIBU?
to want to meet the surgeon before agreeing to major surgery for my child
elliejjtiny · 29/07/2015 11:20
Thankyou. Glad I'm not being precious. We're seeing the general paed in 2 weeks so I'll talk to her about it, confident in the fact that it's a perfectly reasonable request 
Surely it's standard practice to have a consultation if 2 with the surgeon doing the procedure. 
for you.
Not BU at all to want to meet the surgeon and anaesthetist. DS1 has had several operations on his ears (he has hearing difficulties) and every single time we've sat down with his consultant and discussed each op in detail before agreeing to proceed. And post-op we've always seen his consultant, the surgeon and the anaesthetist.
You sound perfectly reasonable to request some of their time.
Thankyou. When DS4 has had his other ops (he's had several 
) we talk about it with whoever is doing the operation at one of his regular appointments beforehand. Then on the day there is a pattern of routine obs and the admission form with the nurse, the anaesthetist comes for a quick chat (Hi, I'm dr x, has he got a cold? how was his last anaesthetic? any questions? see you in theatre), the consultant comes and gives me the consent form and asks if we have any questions. Then she or he goes to scrub up and it's time to go. The in depth discussion is never on the day of the operation. I trust the general paed 100% with DS4 and I'm happy to discuss the pros and cons of major brain surgery versus less invasive medical management with her but I'm aware that she has never done this operation herself and I want to talk to the neurosurgeon before I make a decision. When I see him with a consent form 10 minutes before the operation is a bit late in the day for a proper conversation.
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