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... to be mad at my DH for throwing away my maternity wear without asking?

(8 Posts)
bunglecat77 Tue 28-Jul-15 18:59:20

We've decided we don't want another child. He's certain, I'm fairly sure.

I'd lent my maternity wear to a friend (before we made that decision) and she returned it yesterday. In the bag were an item I'd sewed myself, some good-quality things I wanted to give to my sister and the dress I was wearing when my DS was born (it was a fairly quick and slightly chaotic birth). It's not that I wanted to keep them, but I did want to see them again, and to give the decent stuff to my sister who's skint. I just wasn't ready to part with them today.

He's a dedicated declutterer and just took the bags straight down to the recycling bank without asking me. I know I'm more sentimental than he is, but I'm not a hoarder, and I would have got rid of it eventually. It just feels like a symptom of his disregard for my possessions, even though he's very precious about his.

AIBU?

sillysausagewithsauce Tue 28-Jul-15 19:06:55

YANBU
they were not his to throw away. Fine to de clutter your own stuff but not your partner's and definitely not without checking!
I would be really annoyed and expect an apology.

spottybottycream Tue 28-Jul-15 19:09:29

No YANBU. We are fairly sure we are only going to have one child. However despite DH protestations I am not ready yet to get rid of or sell anything of DS's baby things. I have told him in no uncertain terms that if he respects me and my time to grieve for my baby boy growing up and the reality that we wont be having another he will leave it until I am ready. Its not in the way and there's not tonnes of stuff so he can just suck it up.

RunnerHasbeen Tue 28-Jul-15 19:14:14

Have you spoken to him? This could happen in our house as bags of clothes sitting in the hall are destined for the charity shop. If someone returned clothes to me they would be high risk as I'd probably plonk them in the hall to deal with later. He might not have realised what was in them or your intentions?

KurriKurri Tue 28-Jul-15 19:18:42

I'd be doing some serious decluttering of his belongings. And your last sentence suggests he has form for overriding what you want to do. I can't imagine ever throwing away someone's belongings without asking them (despite my opening remark!) it is very disrespectful and arrogant.

bunglecat77 Wed 29-Jul-15 10:32:34

Thank you everyone.

I was so angry when I wrote this, but I've got it more in perspective now.

Runner, you were right, he'd got a bit confused about what was in the bags, which were lying in the hall, and hadn't realised what he was throwing away. He's apologised, and even tried (unsuccessfully) to fish them out of the recycling bank for me.

Time for me to let it, and the clothes, go. Although I'm sorely tempted to recycle all his pants wink

My Mum is a hoarder, and I think part of DH's eagerness to clear things out comes from a worry that I'll turn into my mother..!

morelikeguidelines Wed 29-Jul-15 10:41:56

If he went and tried to fish it out it does sound as though he made a mistake and wasn't doing it on purpose.

YANBU though.

Unless there is a mistake of some kind, it is always unreasonable to throw away other people's things.

StrawberryCheese Wed 29-Jul-15 10:48:40

Sounds like he genuinely didn't mean to. Still not nice to throw things out that belong to your other half though, I always check with my DH or just say 'I'm throwing these socks out as they are full of holes' etc.

FIL threw out MIL's wedding dress because he said she didn't need it anymore.

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