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AIBU to be raging about how many people don't consider their pets a long-term commitment?

(134 Posts)
KitKat1985 Tue 28-Jul-15 08:17:36

Today's example: Someone I know on Facebook (someone I went to school with years ago, rather than a friend per se) posted yesterday evening excitedly that she got a puppy yesterday. No word of a lie this morning she is advertising it for sale because it 'doesn't get on with the cat'. Would you not think about how a puppy and cat would mix before you got a puppy? And if they didn't get along wouldn't you put a bit of effort in giving them time to get used to each other, rather than just 1 night? The poor thing will probably end up at an animal shelter or similar, or sold to some random who may or may not take good care of it.

I also had a work colleague who got through about 3 dogs in one year by taking on each one and then getting rid of each of them for various reasons (too noisy, needs too much walking etc) apparently having learnt nothing from each experience that dogs are actually a big commitment and can be hard work, and that maybe she shouldn't be taking one on unless she can make it's needs.

It leaves me so angry and sad. All the local animal shelters around here are full of abandoned pets that people have lost interest in. AIBU to think that if you take on a pet that it should (unless in exceptional circumstances) be a commitment to look after that animal for all it's life, and that should put some thought beforehand into how you would cope if your circumstances change etc?

traceybaybee Tue 28-Jul-15 08:24:30

Yanbu a dog is for life not just for xmas as the saying goes.

chelle792 Tue 28-Jul-15 08:30:16

It's ridiculous how some people think pets are a commodity.

I've just announced my first pregnancy as my DB said what are you going to do about the dog?

Ummmm keep it?!

GreyAndGoldInTheMeadow Tue 28-Jul-15 08:34:14

YANBU, I know someone just like this and it seems to be a fairly common attitude unfortunately. I witnessed a conversation on fb a few weeks ago where daughter posted to her mum minimal details of a cat for sale (breed, sex, price) and within the hour it had been arranged to get it next day (by the daughter for the mum) mum hadn't ever seen it or spoken with the person selling it, all contact happening through the daughter. They were talking of future breeding with her other cat sad

nooka Tue 28-Jul-15 08:34:21

One rescue group I follow on facebook has just taken in a pup that was being given away because the owners had just got two new puppies. The dog being given away was 12 weeks old!

lylasmam2012 Tue 28-Jul-15 08:34:47

YANBU, a girl I'm in a facebook group with posted a pic of a puppy they were getting "on a trial basis"

Dogs are not a pair of shoes or a handbag you can bring back because you don't like them!

sooperdooper Tue 28-Jul-15 08:35:00

This makes me so mad!

A woman on our local selling group recently posted moaning that the local shelter were rubbish/wouldn't take her cat/there was no support etc - people asked why she was rehoming it and she said because I live on a main road and he's frustrated because he can't go out (she hadn't recently moved, been there the whole time) hmm I got into a row with her about the irony of her not realising that people like her were the reason the shelters were full to bursting in the first place

MagpieCursedTea Tue 28-Jul-15 08:40:50

I get similarly irritated by amateur breeders who think puppies and kittens are cute things to sell. The shelters are all full to bursting. Adopt, neuter and treat them as part of your family or don't bother.
I could also rant about insurance and microchips but I'll leave it!

LetThereBeCupcakes Tue 28-Jul-15 08:41:47

Nooka you must be on the same rescue group I follow - were the news pups staffies? On the up side, the 12 week old (And the pup mentioned by OP) should get homes quite quickly being so young.

Friends of ours have got 5 dogs. They can't cope with them (Border Collies) and are now thinking they'll get a labrador as well. FFS.

chelle I had this! My aunt actually started asking her friends if they wanted my dogs! I was livid.

Damnautocorrect Tue 28-Jul-15 08:42:38

I'm with you on this, you take on an animal, your taking it on as you would get married (without the divorce option!). In sickness and in health, until death do us part.
I was recently looking at rescues and was really shocked at the number who were just got rid of for no good reason.
Yes some things change (housing authorities for instance are hit and miss at allowing pets). But on the whole you take on an animal knowing it should live for x amount of years, so therefore you need to care for it for x amount of years.

KitKat1985 Tue 28-Jul-15 08:53:25

That's awful Nooka! sad

Asuperwittyquip Tue 28-Jul-15 08:55:48

I find this odd.
Maybe it is to do with people's parents attitude to pets. When I was growing up we had 2 cats mum and dad had them as kittens,they were 5 or 6 when I was born, I was about 14 when the last one died. They were members of the family and were never replaced.
DH's family always had dogs up to three at a time, each one lives to about 8 or 9 (disclaimer i know nothing about canine life expectancy) before developing and illness they can't afford to treat and is put to sleep,and they still replace a dog that dies within days,they never seem to grieve for their pets as we did when we lost our cats.
We have a pet cat who is three, DH sometimes says something about what pet we will have when she die and googles the types of animals he would have when she is gone. I always remind him she is part of our family and hopefully will be with us for another 15 years maybe more.
My in-laws attitude to pets makes me cross and your examples are much more extreme so no YANBU.

chelle792 Tue 28-Jul-15 08:56:18

cupcakes it's annoying. I'm the first to admit that my boy has been a nightmare. He is nearly three and had a really rough start. I've not once given up on him and have invested a massive amount of training time. He will need managing when baby arrives but I made a commitment to him and am going to do my best by him. He's lovely natured but just a little harder than most

KitKat1985 Tue 28-Jul-15 08:57:29

Oh and yes, I also don't get why so many people automatically feel they have to get rid of their pets as soon as they get pregnant or give birth. Most of the time (I acknowledge not always) pets and children will learn to live with each other as long as they are given a bit of time and are properly introduced to each other.

Wolfiefan Tue 28-Jul-15 08:59:42

We lost our old girl a couple of weeks ago. She was 19. Wishing you very many more cat years.
I never take on so much as a hamster without research and soul searching. We are considering two more cats and a dog. We feel this might be possible because I'm home full time and my youngest is at school. Our pets would be neutered and with us for life. I can't imagine it any other way.

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 28-Jul-15 09:00:17


I'm not against re homing.

I understand sometimes people loose jobs and end up homeless or end up to sick or disabled to be able to look after them.

shit can happen to people meaning that their beloved pet just can't stay.

but far to many people just don't think. aren't prepared to put the work in or have the money fir the basic upkeep of the pets.

or the pet gets the blame for the kids asthma or allergy when you know full well of they quit smoking round the kids it would be much better.

It's just so ridiculous. Poor pets sad

Sleepybeanbump Tue 28-Jul-15 09:03:25

Yanbu. People like this make me livid. Our cats are rescues from the most wonderful small local shelter that's always fit to bursting with sad tales of 'new girlfriend locked cats out in the garden' (I'd get rid of the girlfriend!) or 'no longer wanted when new baby arrived' or 'owners moved house and left cat behind'.

Don't get me wrong I have friends who have really struggled with their cat hating their child, or a new member of the family being allergic, and they have had to find new homes. But the shelter have so many who come from families who get a cat as a baby substitute for a couple of years then just get rid when a real baby arrives as they don't want the mess/ extra responsibility and just don't feel they have a need for the cat anymore.

If your circumstances change, part of being a pet owners is trying to make those circumstances work with/for your pet. You don't just go 'oh well, never mind, we'll just get rid of it'. That's an extreme last resort only.

My cats are a NIGHTMARE. They cost us a total fortune in special food and vet bills. One has behavioural issues and will be a total horror with children (she's a real biter and scratcher amongst other things so will need separating/supervising way more than normal). I'm pregnant but would never dream of getting rid of them. Not least because I totally adore them and it would break my heart. I wouldn't sell them for any money in the world. But also because we chose to get them and I will bloody well honour the commitment we made to them. One was abused and took the best part of two years to really come out of her shell. No way could I do that to them. One of them gets upset if we close the door on her to go to the bathroom! She'd have a nervous breakdown going back to the shelter. But I'm sure a lot of other people would have given up on her by now as she's so much hassle.

maybebabybee Tue 28-Jul-15 09:06:49

The worst tbh is people who get rid of pets when babies arrive. Did you not consider this before you got the pets?

I've had various people telling me to get rid of my two gorgeous cats before my baby arrives next year. They can sod right off.

Lurkedforever1 Tue 28-Jul-15 09:07:11

Yanbu. Something I've seen, and in cases of people I previously classed as friends, fell out over. If self-centred twats weren't treating them like furniture they'd got bored of, then the charities would have more time and money for the situations when it really can't be helped, not to mention cruelty cases.
Not long after my actual hunting killer cat decided she'd live here, dd asked to have a rodent again having had them in the past, and quickly grasped the explanation of why it would be stressful for a rodent to live here. Dd happened to mention it infront of a mum at school, who was a bit 'what, your mum saying no to a pet like that when she's let you have all the rest and you've had them before'. Dd explained re practicality with killer cat, to which the mum told her we should try it anyway and just find a new home for either cat or rodent if it didn't work out. Really scary to listen to a 7yr old explain to an adult that isn't an ok way to behave.

plum100 Tue 28-Jul-15 09:07:13

Yadnbu!!!!! Having a dog is like having a child! We are getting our first pip in a few weeks after years of deliberating. It is a small breed that will fit in with our lifestyle. The reason its taken me ao long to say is because once we get it - thats it - its here forever - just like a child. You cant get rid of it if it has an illness such as epilepsy, or is allergic to grass or if it barks alot, same as a child , you make that commitmnet then thats it - boom - yours for 15 years!!! I cant wait!!!!

Needaninsight Tue 28-Jul-15 09:07:31


However, it also winds me up how many couples get a dog as a sort of 'practice' for having a baby. Then they get pg. Then they get offended when people ask about the dog. Then they have the baby. Only then do they realise how bloody hard it is to have a newborn (especially your first) and a dog.

Fast forward two odd years and the dog is definitely at the bottom of the priority list, never gets a mention any more, spends most of its day locked in a garage/garden etc and is basically a pain in the backside to the parents.

I know of at least five couples who have done this.

And they all said of course the dog will still be loved!

Anniegetyourgun Tue 28-Jul-15 09:08:19

I once gave a puppy back the day after we got it. The circumstances were that next door's little dog had had puppies and the DC had asked if we had had one. I said no, we already have more than enough pets and I know Muggins will end up looking after it. Next day I get home to find a seriously cute puppy in the lounge because Daddy had said yes. angry I was not pleased, but said if they all cleared up after it and were diligent with the house training I supposed it could stay. Naturally, they played with it for about an hour and then wandered off to do other stuff, as children do, leaving dear little turds all over the carpet. Next day it was round to the neighbours with puppy in arms to explain we couldn't keep it. They clearly thought I was one of "those" owners, but frankly I knew how things would turn out and indeed they did. It would have been extremely unfair on the puppy anyway in the longer term.

Both my current cats come from a shelter, one of them having been surplus to requirements along with three others when the owners had a baby. There were some with far more heinous back stories, including people moving house with no intention whatsoever of taking their cat with them or even bothering to arrange for someone else to feed it.

SlaggyIsland Tue 28-Jul-15 09:11:32

YANBU. I know someone whose wife insisted against his will that they get two cats. A couple of years and a baby later, she decides the flat is too small for all of them and makes him drive the poor things to a rescue.
They moved to a sizable house not long after that as well.

Needaninsight Tue 28-Jul-15 09:13:04

sleepybean Just read your post. You haven't had your baby yet! You have absolutely no idea how much you will suddenly turn into mother bear and as much as you love your cat to bits (and I don't doubt that), your priority will become your own actual child. And if your cat is a danger to your newborn, trust me, the cat will go. And rightly so imo.

You have no idea at all what you might do.

This is why you should get pets after you've had children imo!!!!

Having a dog/cat can be like having a child in some respects, but at the end of the day, they're an animal. And if your own actual child is in danger from an animal (however much loved) you would hope your priority as a parent would be to the baby!

SitsOnFence Tue 28-Jul-15 09:14:13

YANBU sadangry

I was queuing to pay in a shop about 5 months ago and accidentally overheard a woman telling her friend how she was going to get another (her emphasis) kitten soon and how this time she was going to try really hard and see if she could keep it for a bit longer.

I'm also rather fed up, and I know this isn't in the same league, of the current trend of hatching chicken eggs for fun, then frantically trying to give them away when they are no longer cute and fluffy. We keep ex-commercial layers and I couldn't tell you how many people have just assumed they can offload their unwanted hens and cockerels onto my doorstep when they eventually get bored of them. I've ended up having to humanely euthanise 2 cockerels now because they simply cannot be rehomed and run the risk of being used for cock fighting if owners give them away via Facebook/Gumtree etc.

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