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To hope there is a special place in hell for these women...

(52 Posts)
SylvanianCaliphate Mon 27-Jul-15 20:02:00

I know I know men do it more but it really fucks my brain to know that these women even exist angry

Somehow it's worse.

[Warning from MNHQ - links to Norfolk child sex abuse case]

SylvanianCaliphate Mon 27-Jul-15 20:02:13

Giraffodil Mon 27-Jul-15 20:07:43

That's horrific and needs a trigger warning

mrsmalcolmreynolds Mon 27-Jul-15 20:08:00

YABU in my opinion to feel that it's worse because they are women. It is utterly appalling regardless of gender. It is equally "unnatural" and evil whether the perpetrator is male or female.

AuntyMag10 Mon 27-Jul-15 20:09:12

Yanbu, pure evil.

paulapompom Mon 27-Jul-15 20:12:19

YaNbu. I know what you mean about female abusers, as in our society women are generally considered nurturing care-givers. All abuse is shocking but I think as women we think "how could she"? The details of this case are truly horrific. Let's hope the children involved can be helped and can be happy in the future x

Frillsandspills Mon 27-Jul-15 20:16:11

I think it hits some people harder when it's a woman because you don't hear about it as much, although you shouldn't have to hear about anything like this because it shouldn't be done.
I read that in utter disbelief and I regret reading it but it's all too real that there are disgusting excuses of human beings like this in the world.

My heart goes out to all affected.

SylvanianCaliphate Mon 27-Jul-15 20:19:44

It really makes it worse for me, I imagine the poor victims looking to the women for help only to be doubly betrayed iyswim.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Mon 27-Jul-15 20:23:25

There's always been women devoid of maternal feeling who are depraved .

Myra Hindley
Rise West
Vanessa .... ? At the day nursery.

Lots of nasty sick women out there.

Lagoonablue Mon 27-Jul-15 20:24:41

10years this abuse went on. Fucking hell.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Mon 27-Jul-15 20:25:33


PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Mon 27-Jul-15 20:28:04

I actually think gender doesn't matter.

Women are not robots and not all women have a maternal instincts.

It sickening how anybody could do it to a small child

DesertIslander Mon 27-Jul-15 21:03:52

This kind of thing fires up a rage inside me like nothing else. Unthinkable evil.

Doobigetta Mon 27-Jul-15 21:06:48

It is unspeakably evil, but I don't think any less so when a man does it. And I'm pretty sure there are significant numbers of women completely devoid of maternal instinct who still think this is unspeakably evil and would never, ever be able to do something like that. So for conflating the two, YABU.

ShipShapeAhoy Mon 27-Jul-15 21:20:13

It's sickening that this has happened. I understand why you might feel female sexual abusers are worse but I disagree. I actually think that attitude sort of makes it seem more excusable behaviour for man, which I'm sure isnt your intention at all.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Mon 27-Jul-15 21:24:03

This sort of behaviour is never excusable for either gender. I think it is wrong to believe that it is worse if paedophile is a woman. It is more unusual and therefore initially maybe more shocking.

AnyoneForTennis Mon 27-Jul-15 21:27:38

Agree, gender doesn't matter

owlborn Mon 27-Jul-15 21:28:22

I think it's awful whichever gender does it. Evil is evil. It doesn't need to be gendered.

Hassled Mon 27-Jul-15 21:34:23

I do think there's a sort of cognitive dissonance when it's a woman. The default is that women raise and protect children from the evils of the world, not that they add to it. I know that's completely illogical, but there is a sort of gut reaction of shock to it that comes from somewhere.

wherethewildthingis Mon 27-Jul-15 21:37:44

It's now believed women are almost as likely as men to commit these types of offences, that's what victims tell us anyway. As a society we need to get our heads round that, at the moment a lot of women are getting away with offences because people don't want to contemplate or find it difficult to accept it

StayWithMe Mon 27-Jul-15 21:41:36

Is she any different from the mothers who turn a blind eye to their children being abused? The ones who blame their children or want a quiet life for themselves, so 'turn a blind eye' to it. To me, those mothers/females are just as evil. Really, there's a lot more nasty females out there than we read/hear about.

RandomMess Mon 27-Jul-15 21:43:09

You see this sort of sexist attitude on MN regularly.

So few people recognise that some ex-wives can be awful, use their dc at weapons, damage them emotionally. Threads full of the "mother knows best father must be the one at fault"

Hassled Mon 27-Jul-15 21:50:13

I don't think it's as simplistic as just sexism. I do see what you mean, though. I think it's more ingrained than that - it goes back to Mother Nature/the Madonna/this whole idea of women being nurturing and loving as a default. It's the mother bear defending her young, not the father. And no, society hasn't adjusted to the idea that this just isn't true - has never been true - so there is still this shock when you hear about a woman like Marie Black.

RosePetels Mon 27-Jul-15 23:05:25

Hopefully they will have a hard time with the other inmates in jail, absolutely vile.

MiscellaneousAssortment Mon 27-Jul-15 23:45:01

I think hassled puts it very well. It's shocking as it breaks through the very strong cultural stereotype of woman as giver of life and nurturer of children.

Women's instinct is supposed to be to save, nurture and protect, to be the soft warm arms that children run to. We are the protectors of innocence, and the world of children, mummy's and childcare is in a sense a micro world, constructed by women to shield little children against the harshness (& masculinity) of the wider world.

Not saying it's true or desirable, but it's the everyday cultural significance of women's role in children's lives.

So it does feel somehow worse, more of a betrayal because from that pedestal its a longer fall.

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