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AIBU to stop contact?

(11 Posts)
mrsbun81 Mon 27-Jul-15 19:40:40

Ok...this is a weird one so I'm keen to hear people's thoughts. I had a really bad relationship and a messy breakup with my ex about 18 months ago but we've managed to keep his contact with our 2 year old son consistent and they have a good relationship and a strong bond. The difficulty is my ex now lives with his mother who was born and brought up in West Africa and they both believe in 'witchcraft' and they have accused my mother, her sisters and me of being witches. Until recently, I laughed it off but this weekend, in front of our son, he called me 'evil', said my house stinks of ungodliness and said that I have, he can tell, put 'something' into our son and that he needs to help him.
I felt quite terrified about what he was implying, that DS has something evil in him, and subsequently told him he couldn't see DS again. I sought advise from the police, who were really concerned and told me not to let him see him again, but I don't think that legally I'm entitled to make that decision.

Does anyone have any thoughts/advice/similar experiences to share?

beanabonce Mon 27-Jul-15 19:44:24

You're legally allowed to stop contact if its in your child's best interest (keeping from harm ect...)

Suefla62 Mon 27-Jul-15 19:44:49

Keep your child away from him! If he wants contact he can apply to the courts, who will decide. I can't see them letting him have unsupervised contact in the circumstances. You can tell the court that the police advised you to keep the child away from them.

God knows what they might do to "get the evil out". You need to protect your child.

User100 Mon 27-Jul-15 19:45:17

I have no idea how to handle this; couldn't the police give more advice (did you ask if you are allowed, what they will do if the father turns up at your house etc). Have you tried NSPCC?

StockingFullOfCoal Mon 27-Jul-15 19:46:12

shock To coin an MN phrase, they sound extremely unhinged. I would not let them near my child again, and would be involving SS and the courts.

AlpacaLypse Mon 27-Jul-15 19:48:21

Sadly I have to agree with pps. If ex is living with his mum it will be virtually impossible to prevent her bonkers influence from affecting any unsupervised time between your son and his father.

You may get practical advice about this if you repost in Legal.

IAmNotAMindReader Mon 27-Jul-15 19:50:34

If there is no court ordered contact schedule then you can stop contact at any time. If there is, you can still apply for an emergency hearing to stop contact if there is a significant risk of harm to the child (if you believe your ex and his family may involve your son in an exorcism and you believe that may cause him physical or psychological harm then that would probably count).

mrsbun81 Mon 27-Jul-15 19:50:55

I spoke to SS today and they said there's nothing they can do and that if he does go to court he will probably be given the same access as he's been getting because it's my word against his and he's never harmed him before.

starlight2007 Mon 27-Jul-15 19:52:39

I would also speak to SS...And let him take you to court if he wants access.

Lweji Mon 27-Jul-15 19:55:17

SS are not likely to want to "take sides".

You do what you think it is best for your children, but try to be as objective as possible.

IAmNotAMindReader Mon 27-Jul-15 19:57:38

You have no proof as yet, however if your ex and his family are serious then they will escalate. Keep a record of all emails, texts, voice mails and letters as well as a diary of events with regards to any face to face contact you have from your ex and his family. Log any threats with the police.
Then SS will have proof that he may harm your son.

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