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AIBU or just PFB re nursery

(20 Posts)
PiperChapstick Mon 27-Jul-15 18:48:24

First of all I'm absolutely prepared to be handed many grips and told I'm being a precious twonk.

DD (2) goes to nursery 3 times a week, has done since 9mo. I used to pick her up at 5pm where I'd be given a run down by nursery workers about her day, how and when she slept and what she'd eaten.

I changed jobs last month, meaning I now finish at 5pm, and my new base is 25 miles away. So I asked if I could pick her up at 5.45pm from now on. When she first started nursery I was told they could be picked up at any 15 minute interval from 4.30pm - 6pm. However I was told this has changed and only 2 options were 5pm or 6pm, so I obviously chose 6pm.

Sometimes I go to collect her straight from work, and sometimes I take the extra time I have to do little jobs like picking up dinner (soooo much easier running into aldi waitrose on my own than lugging DD in and out of car) getting petrol etc. so I arrive any time from 5.35-5.55pm. I only ever turned up at 6pm once, because of an accident.

DD is one of the last kids to be collected, often the very last. No matter what time I turn up the workers, along with DD and sometimes 1 or 2 other children, are waiting with their coats on and bags in the entrance ready to leave. They are talking to the children or sometimes reading, but there's no toys or play going on. They don't offer information about her day, I have to ask. If I'm the last parent as soon as I step out the door they're hot on my heels - they've often all beat me out the car park!

So my question is - AIBU to be irritated and a little pressured by this? I feel like I'm holding them up, and even worse DD is standing about in the entrance for god knows how long rather than having any proper play or interaction. I know they're probably itching to leave but when I'm as much as 25 minutes 'early' I feel it's unnecessary. It's happened just about every day since I switched her pick up time.

Would it be twattish to raise with the nursery manager - who, btw, isn't there at this point as she leaves at 5pm. Or should I just live and let live?

MadameJulienBaptiste Mon 27-Jul-15 18:53:34

Our used to start putting all the children in the baby room half an hour before closing to keep the ratios right as some staff started and finished earlier.
If I got there 10 mins before closing then yes the kids were ready to go home as the nursery closed at 6, and the staff left at that time too.
Our manager said it was because the parents who arrive later generally want to just get the child and get home, not have chitchat like the ones arriving at 4 after picking up school age children.

HappyAsASandboy Mon 27-Jul-15 18:54:06

You should absolutely bring it up with the manager. I doubt she's aware I what's going on.

If you've paid for care until 6pm then your DD should be in a nursery room playing until you collect her. My nursery condenses the rooms once the numbers drop, moving the kids down through the rooms so that ratios are maintained but staff can be released. They might even get her coat on at 5.55pm because you're very imminently expected, but ages with a coat on is absolutely not on. Your DD will be confused at best and bored at worst.

Bring it up with them, and consider loving your DD if it continues. It's not good for her sad

olafisking Mon 27-Jul-15 18:55:10

I think it's ok for them to tidy up a short while in advance of the official end of the day and have 'tidy' activities (eg one set of toys out, reading a story, watching something on the whiteboard etc) but this sounds like they are trying to leave on the heels of the last child and are keeping the children hanging around waiting for parents (which, by the way, is surely making it more fraught for the kids?). You should also be getting decent feedbackfeedback with such a young child. wonder if the manager realises if she isn't there - surely they are paid till 6, I would certainly raise it.. It might be she's said they can go early if all kids are collected but the champing at the bit to leave is out of order.

PiperChapstick Mon 27-Jul-15 18:55:38

Madame when she had an earlier pick up time they used to do that which was fine as I knew she still had toys etc to play with

Nolim Mon 27-Jul-15 18:56:29

Bring it up with the manager. It vould be a case of missmatched expectations.

hibbleddible Mon 27-Jul-15 19:06:21

That doesn't sound good.

I withdrew dd from a not very good nursery who used to put all the children in the baby room for the last half an hour plus. They just sat there bored. There were many other issues with this nursery too however.

Speak to the manager.

MadHattersWineParty Mon 27-Jul-15 19:06:59

I used to work at a nursery that closed at 6pm. We had packed most of the stuff away by then otherwise it'd be a mad rush to do it all after hours. There were usually a couple of children left, sometimes just the one, so one of us would get a book out or just play with them one to one so the toys didn't have to be all pulled out again.

We had daily diaries for the parents to read so wasn't always necessary to do a big run down at pick up, but we'd always mention if they'd been off their food/didn't nap or whatever.

I'll admit by 6pm after a nine hour day with minimal breaks we were shattered, and definitely thinking of getting home, but I would have thought it rude and unprofessional to make it obvious to a parent that has paid for the child to receive our full attention and care until the end of the day. Are the girls there young? When I became manager I had to have a little word as they were packing up their handbags and just generally switching off when the clock got to about 17:50, and I didn't think it looked good. If it worked with ratios i'd let them go so they weren't hanging around being all fidgety waiting for the last of the pick ups.

I'd mention it to the manager as if she cares about being professional and providing the care that you have paid for right up until pick up time then it should matter to her.

Does the nursery not do a daily notebook thing that you read at home?

PiperChapstick Mon 27-Jul-15 19:10:35

MadMatters they used to have a book but stopped when she turned 2 - not sure why, it's the same for every child. Which is a shame as I miss reading it

MadHattersWineParty Mon 27-Jul-15 19:12:13

Strange that they've stopped the book- I imagine it was really useful to the parents, we used to log all changes, naps and what they'd eaten at meals as well as what they'd particularly enjoyed doing that day or if we'd had an outing.

AsBrightAsAJewel Mon 27-Jul-15 19:20:38

They are talking to the children or sometimes reading - I would be happy as long as this was going on - that is still childcare to my mind. If the children were all coated and left to just sit and wait I would be concerned.

I can completely see why they have condensed rooms and tidied up. Maybe they are only paid until 6pm, have their own children to collect, other jobs to go to - hence they are eager to be out the door at the end of their allotted time? I don't begrudge staff heading off as soon as their last customer has left the building. Rude would be updating you on the day as they shepherd you out the door and lock it while still talking.

When I collect DGD from her nursery there is a parent who seems to think it is completely acceptable to have a full 20 minute conference as the staff have no/so few other children to care for. She corners staff every time I am there (I do twice a week and all the school holiday collections.) she may well have her own needs/reasons for all this small talk, but it is challenging when staff want or need to get off on time. Maybe your staff have had their fingers burnt with a parent like that and are automatically brief?

Nanny0gg Mon 27-Jul-15 19:48:44

Is it me?

Surely, the staff should be paid till 6.15 so that there is still time to talk to the parents, not shoo everyone out of the door.

stickystick Thu 30-Jul-15 00:25:07

No YANBU. If staff are paid until 6, they should be working til 6, not hustling parents and children out of the door at 5.45 without a proper handover. No excuse for that. They clearly aren't supposed to do this but because the nursery manager isn't around to see things are done properly at the end of the day, they've fallen into lazy habits.
You must speak to the nursery manager.
But, I'd also be asking myself why the nursery manager herself is never around after 5, and what this says about the quality of leadership. You will learn much from her reaction to your raising this.
I had to speak to our nursery's management this week about a similar issue but at the start of the day. A member of staff has got completely Megalomaniac & is unacceptably rude to parents & very controlling with the children. But the management never witness it because they are always busy filling in forms in their offices or on the phone to agencies etc first thing. To their credit they were mortified at what had been going on...and they said they'd change their own shifts to make sure they could keep a closer eye on things.

Fatmomma99 Thu 30-Jul-15 00:35:42

To me this becomes a problem the day AFTER they haven't told you about an incident or accident. And ThaT is when I would make a fuss.

In my experience of after-time care, there are parents to regularly take the piss and turn up late. This is ok for a one-off, but otherwise unacceptable. But there are parents who do this regularly.

Staff aren't wrong to resent these parents.

Happy36 Thu 30-Jul-15 00:48:57

You are not being unreasonable and should speak to the manager.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty Thu 30-Jul-15 00:50:45

Agree with others that condensing the remaining children into one or two rooms makes sense, as does doing things like drawing or reading (the kids are tired at the end of the day too, and this is perfect end of day activity anyway). But you shouldn't be bundled out of the door, and you should still get a hand over.

JamAndClottedCream Thu 30-Jul-15 01:50:01

I work in a nursery, it shuts at 6.30. If parents are not there by 6.30 we take the child to the front entrance with their bag/coat etc. This is because we are past our time and don't get paid any extra and as a pp said, because parents usually don't want to traipse about retrieving their child's items. However, this is not the case for you at all, and tbh even if it were, I would still tell you all about your child's day with a smile on my face and wave you out of the car park from the front door no matter how late you were.

That's very poor practice. I would definitely say to the manager. You are paying to have your child looked after and part of that is having your child's day relayed to you at the end of each day, not being rushed about by the staff.

CheerfulYank Thu 30-Jul-15 01:54:31

Yanbu. I used to work in a nursery and we would move the children about at the end of the day to start cleaning the rooms, but they would always be in a room with toys and things to do.

JamAndClottedCream Thu 30-Jul-15 01:54:47

Also, can I ask op, why is there "slots" when parents can pick children up? Surely a parent is paying for care and can pick their child up any time they wish? What happens if a parent arrives outside the 'allocated' time? Are they told no, they can't get their own child?

I have never heard of this and wouldn't like it.

AlpacaMyBags Thu 30-Jul-15 02:51:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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